First time Trauma Flooding and DID Realization?

Hey

I got myself into the dumbest corner possible.

I had a trigger which prompted my to re-evaluate my life and face a trauma of sexual abuse I had always ghosting around in my head but always pushed a side.

From a biographical perspective it is highly possible the abuse happened. PTSD and Detailed memories are also there. It explains my wrecked attachment patterns all to well.

Now at the same time I got memories of alters resurfacing (which I'm sure I had in my childhood and my most suicidal times in my teens (Internal Dialog, extreme dissociation, time lapses).

Those memories are of my alters interacting with my therapist. I wasn't really aware I had DID.

A look at the symptoms I had throughout my life makes it highly possible.

The Therapist is on vacation and doesn't answer my prompts for validation that I have DID.

Now... is there any way to differentiate if these Alter Memories are real and I in fact have DID or if these memories are made up together with the Trauma flooding?

It's such a retarded place I find myself at. I have all the pieces of the puzzle for the Abuse and DID but i MUST validate this somehow.

Else I'm pulling in two directions internally... Either my brain cooked up memories of alter interactions with the Therapists and this is some kind of psychotic episode (is this possible? What would you call this?) or they are real.

How can I differentiate between alter memories and made up memories?

flyingfrog wrote:How can I differentiate between alter memories and made up memories?

Talk to your alters. Get to know them. Help them get to know you. Things will get clearer when everybody calms down.

Maybe check out the thread on Journaling.

Iain

Does anybody have any experience with memory bleeding from alters?

I can't access all the memories, only the part that makes me aware of my trauma and them.

How do your alters share memories? Do they even do that with DID? In my case it was kind of a flood. New memories which got accessible. Just popping up really. I did not look for anything they just... appeared.