I zone out instead of switching sometimes

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this, and it confuses me a bit when it happens. I sometimes get overloaded mentally - especially if I have to be present for too long because of things that really only I can take care of (like working all day and then having to attend a function after work for something, where it would be inappropriate for one of the others to be present). When this happens I sometimes go into this sort foggy zone towards the end where I can function but just barely. It'l like moving through quicksand to even make simple conversation. What's frustrating is that when I am home and it is safe to switch and let someone else take over no one does. I don't think it is because they don't want to, I get a feeling its more like the whole system is just totally wiped out and can't function. It usually takes me several hours of "downtime" for everyone to come back. People who know me tell me it's almost like I am catatonic, except I can sort of respond if I make enough effort. I just sit and stare into space mostly, though. Anyone else have this experience before? How do you handle it?

I can soooo relate. The number of times as a teenager I got really told off for not engaging, when in fact I had zoned out. I felt frustrated that noone knew that i was so overwhelemed i just froze and couldn't move or speak. I do remember however, focusing on one thing for a really long time, like the pattens on the tissue box, or the light switch.

Sorry, I went off track. My social worker was telling me about this just the other day. I'm not good at putting links in here. Search for 'window of tolerance' the go to images. Ok - calm down, try to explain logically.

There's a window of tolerance - when things are going ok, you are managing your coping strategies etc this is the space you are in. Here emotions can be 'tolerated and information integrated). Hyperarousal is the typical fight flight response. You are talking about hypoarousal. Where you have an absense of sensation, numbing of emotions, disable cognitive processing and reduced physical movement. It's also includes dissociation - so no suprise really that you're saying it on this forum. not sure if any info about it will help you - i have reading loads of confusing info which is why i look at hte images ...or you could try and find a video about it online, now that you know what you're looking for

How do i cope with it. Erm, I try with all my might to get to a phsically safe location. Then i sit for ages and ages (can get wet and cold if thats the weather). Like you say, theres nothing going round, no feeling etc. I usually come around to a noise that just jolts me back to reality. My social worker tells me this is where i am supposed to be using grounding techniques. Use sensory - so look at something like bright colours/flowers, smell something like baking, essential oils, touch something like leaves, a jumper, listen to something like birds or music. Honestly, i think in that state its so painful to try and do anything expect sit and do and feel nothing, that it's really hard. Sometimes, i think that your brain, like you said, is so overloaded that i's hit and off switch and will only resume when it has rested.

Thanks, debetolle! That's really helpful information. I will definitely check it out. I appreciate your sharing your experience with me, too. It's amazing how really helpful it is just to know that you are not alone in all the "weirdness" that goes with DID!! My T has given me grounding techniques too, like tapping my hand or touching something that has a lot of texture, but your right..when I am in that place it seems like sooooo much work to do something as simple as that. It's almost like I am in this big quiet bubble that sucks away all my motivation to do anything at all except stay right there!

this is a normal experience for people who dissociate.
if you really zone out badly mild scents might not be able to get you back. or all the way back so that you are truely present.
i cannot stress it enough... but medical ammonia is key for us. we carry it on the body at all times. a few deep breaths and the head is clear again. sometimes it needs a strong stimulus to get you out. when that is done you can look for other skills that could help you calm down and reach a comfortable level of arousal.
ammonia is best but ice or chili or other extreme stuff would help as well.

4Rene are you host? I (host-C) get like this too, especially when I am or have been anxious. I want someone else to take over but they don't.

I (Terrin) get like this but for me it's more depression and exhaustion. Sometimes looking at the tv is too much stimulation so I look at the outlet beside it so no one knows I'm not watching.

I get like this when I get overwhelmed/overstimulated, or if I don't get enough sleep. For me it's definitely a combo of I feel like I'm walking through fog, and either have an incredibly hard time or can't communicate with the others. Which is odd, cause we usually have good communication.

Hi ColouredLeaves, no I'm not the host really. Actually it's kind of weird for us because there is no permanent host. We just all take turns being present. I usually handle work, now that we have worked long enough with our T for everyone to realize how important it is for me to do that so we don't lose income and be able to cooperate well enough to make that actually happen!! For the rest of it, though, that is where the problem is. The rest of the world (i.e. all the people I need to interact with every day) expects to see me...not the others, and thus the stress. It's definitely a combo of stress and exhaustion.

Thanks for the idea about the medical ammoniabirdson87. I'm not sure it would work since only one of us has a sense of smell - no idea why. I wonder if it would work anyway...I will have to try it.

4Rene wrote:
Thanks for the idea about the medical ammoniabirdson87. I'm not sure it would work since only one of us has a sense of smell - no idea why. I wonder if it would work anyway...I will have to try it.

it usually does, even with people who dont have a sense of smell. while it does smell unpleasant there is something else that happens in the brain, that results in a sharp pain thru your head and then more focus. its what therapists use to bring back people who have dissociated so badly they wont react to anything else.
for us it is a measure of a good T if they have a store of ammonia sticks in their office...

Yes, yes, yes. i used to get it much more when i didn't know why it was happening; before i knew a term for dissociation. i used to head to the restroom if i was at work, jsut sorta close my eyes tightly (it helped; it seemed to relieve pressure in my eyes/head) and try to recollect myself as best I could. it is Strongly linked to feeling overwhelmed and unable to leave a situation (work; can't just wlak-off the job, or I won't have a job) so i do let a manager know that i need to use the restroom when it does occur.

if you're not open about DID with people (i am only open to a few people; no one at work) you could say that you get some sort of anxiety attack (keeping it light/vague.) i only resorted to that when it happened very often at work. now, it is triggered by being both hungry and overworked, so my manager is luckily sympathetic because it mirrors her hypoglycemia and she understands that/the importance of refueling, and is great about letting me go to lunch to refuel and luckily feel-better after/do my job better/clearly.

a past alter, who luckily (in this sense) has been appeased/dealt with used to cause this to happen more too; my current ISHs are very anti-dissociation and one is actually a huge help in combatting it, if we feel signs of it creeeping in. we gauge a potential situation (a plan for an evening, etc) and are much more comfortable now than when we diss'd a lot.

it is no easy thing; there's often no switch to just turn on/off to make it stop, so please don't feel any less of yourself when it happens or if you cannot easily get out of the episode of zoning out. it is Good that you are conscious of it happening and that it is not a nameless thing that it seems that only you have; you are not alone-bodied in having it.