random images inside

there have been things that i cannot really identify. they are not like flashbacks, but they are kind of similar maybe. they are images far away inside and hard to fully see but are often places from the past, a house, a room, etc. they last a few seconds and come and go.

i don't know if they are related to different parts who were linked to those times, but i am wondering if they are. with the images, there are often feelings associated with them, usually fear or sadness, but they aren't related to particular situations of trauma.

it is difficult to sort things out related to them, so there isn't much i can do but wish there was.

Hmm interesting. Can you bring them to mind by will or do they pop up randomly? Is there a trigger? Sounds worth exploring when you are feeling safe. if you can picture them by will maybe just hold them in your mind and see (when safe to do so) if you can follow a story.
C and Heather

ColouredLeaves wrote:Hmm interesting. Can you bring them to mind by will or do they pop up randomly? Is there a trigger? Sounds worth exploring when you are feeling safe. if you can picture them by will maybe just hold them in your mind and see (when safe to do so) if you can follow a story.
C and Heather

they aren't something that often happens, just every few maybe weeks or months, but it changes. since it has been occurring the last few days and is still nearby somehow, i can see/think about it and will it to come up. but when it is not occurring, that doesn't happen because there isn't a connection/link to it all then.

there was something related to one of them a few days ago that i have bits and pieces of, a room i had as a child and something about having gotten two new barbie play sets. i don't know if it was christmas or birthday presents maybe, but there is the sense that during that, i wasn't alone in the room and someone said something about me having to do something or else i couldn't keep both of the sets. i don't know if it was related to trauma or some kind of potential punishment for not doing something a parent wanted in general. it was just one thing that popped into my mind related to this particular room in the last few days.

they sound a bit like what we've been experiencing lately - C-PTSD flashbacks. But not of specific trauma "events" but the trauma of a way of life, a way of being.

For us the trauma of neglect and attachment issues come up in flashbacks that are very different than flashbacks of events. You feel you are there. You feel the feelings you had when you were wth these people. But specific "events" are nearly almost always obscured for the short ones. The longer ones give you more information. I find them completely disorientating and paralyzing. They are exhausting as if, in that moment, you have truly traveled back in time and back again.

I don't know what to do about them yet either but if I learn from my T, and if you think this is what you may be experiencing, I can certainly share.

SamsLand wrote:they sound a bit like what we've been experiencing lately - C-PTSD flashbacks. But not of specific trauma "events" but the trauma of a way of life, a way of being.

For us the trauma of neglect and attachment issues come up in flashbacks that are very different than flashbacks of events. You feel you are there. You feel the feelings you had when you were wth these people. But specific "events" are nearly almost always obscured for the short ones. The longer ones give you more information. I find them completely disorientating and paralyzing. They are exhausting as if, in that moment, you have truly traveled back in time and back again.

I don't know what to do about them yet either but if I learn from my T, and if you think this is what you may be experiencing, I can certainly share.

that might be it, yeah. i don't feel like i am back there though as they are so distanced from me, but definitely sometimes it could be a part that is maybe...so maybe it is kind of a flashback from another part or something.

Are you logging all these images in a journal? Or in a daily diary app on your phone? Tracking them could be valuable, as often there is a pattern and the pattern turns out to have meaning. Another thing you can do that often helps is acknowledge the images. Say out loud or think out loud (verbalize in your mind) "I am seeing a house. It is . . ." This will help you get closer to the source of the images and eventually make contact.

See, although you are passively tuning in on another self's dreams or thoughts or rememberings, they may not be aware of your presence. Not at first. But if you talk or even just write about what you are experiencing in the moment, and they are experiencing it too, then by some trance logic process they may hear you. Have you seen the movie Stranger Than Fiction? It is like that.

Una+ wrote:Are you logging all these images in a journal? Or in a daily diary app on your phone? Tracking them could be valuable, as often there is a pattern and the pattern turns out to have meaning. Another thing you can do that often helps is acknowledge the images. Say out loud or think out loud (verbalize in your mind) "I am seeing a house. It is . . ." This will help you get closer to the source of the images and eventually make contact.

See, although you are passively tuning in on another self's dreams or thoughts or rememberings, they may not be aware of your presence. Not at first. But if you talk or even just write about what you are experiencing in the moment, and they are experiencing it too, then by some trance logic process they may hear you. Have you seen the movie Stranger Than Fiction? It is like that.

yeah. i have been writing things down. i am finding that i am not fully remembering all that is going on inside. it is kind of just disappearing, though it isn't just related to the images. it is making it difficult trying to sort things out and what to say in therapy this week though. i need to work more on writing daily again.

yeah. i have seen that movie.