Programmed thoughts

Just when I think this class I am taking couldn't be more boring, It starts to make me think. And not just think but send me on this whole spiral of thoughts and emotions and I am still not quite sure if I am confused, or just wanting to implement the thoguht... I don't know.
Anyhow, we were talking about being tired, and how it affects our performance, and how towards the end of the semester we just don't feel like playing our instruments, or singing, or conducting anymore simply because we are burned out. We question whether or not we even want to do this for a living because of how tiresome and tedious it can be and wonder why we even decided top study music in the first place.
Then we started discussing how wehave programmed thoughts for example " I don't want to go to work today" or " I am tired because of finals" or "I am stressed"
The professor was saying how we have to stop and evaluate these thoguths. are they real? Do I really not want to go to work even though it is a beautiful day outside and I love what I do? where do these thoughts come from and why do we have them?
It bothered me because while we can easily overcome thoughts like this, how do we overcome programmed thoughts that are so drilled into you by perpetrators and cult members? and if the thoughts and actions that are drilled into me by cult members can be so easily overcome, does that mean alters that were created can be easily overcome? and I dont evern want that to happen, but everything seems so easy in class. Like oh yah, of course I would love to stay in bed today, but I do love to go to work and when I get home and go to bed it will feel that much better.
But if I have a thought that I am bad because I am showing off whenI am performing, and i don't realize that it is a programmed thought, how do I overcome this.
I don't even know if I make any sense, or if I am just fighting what I already know to be true.
Chinese food tasetes rterally good coold.

hey, i went to a conservatory as well.... i can understand the immense stress and pressure (not to mention performance anxiety)

what instrument do you play?

ooh, interesting. I like the philosophical-ness. I kinda get where you're coming from on the music side of things...well, even just work and lessons in general...
Good luck if you have any performances coming up; I've got two next week for end-of-term Even though sometimes i cant be bothered about practising, I always feel like it's so worht it in the end, like in concerts, and you remember why you started music int he first place

About the programmed thoughts: Me and my bf were having this conversation earlier today, about food, because we both grew up with strict parents who made us always eat ALL our food on the plate, and even now, when we are full already we cannot just leave the food, we still have to eat it all. It's such a silly programmed thought, that you have to finish the plate, that it's somehow bad to leave some stuff.

I used to have loads more thoughts like this, but msot of it is gone now, mostly, (unless lil lexy pops up again) and thats partly due to therapy and me getting confidence. There used to be loads of programmed thoughts that I never even realised were programmed thoughts until I made better friends outside my parents' influence (like my band) and started therapy. My therapist was holistic, and helped me learn how to meditate and realise what thoughts were good for my health and what thoughts were harmful...then my friends would help me see sense, like, I'm not a bad girl becaue I skip church, etc etc...

I'd say it's really hard to recognise a programmed thought by yourself, but when you have an outside point of view it helps.
It's always scarya t first, because I feared that at first, I may be exposed to more programmed thoughts in the process of getting rid of the first ones; but it was okay, because I was taught how to override bad thoughts and program my own.It's still not worked completely, but it's a lot better now that I realise

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Amber and all)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

thanks all.
Harri,
That helped a lot. I understand that these thoughts are not my own that they were implanted and that I cannot decipher which is which, but when I have help I will be able to more readily recognize which is mine and which is not.
So things will get easier now that I am more aware of being aware.
thanks!