dissociative drugs

Oh man... I'm kinda embarrassed...!

The other day I posted here about how smoking medical marijuana did not make my alters closer, it made them "farther away"...

Well, I was TOTALLY WRONG!!! It's just that I haven't been smoked for awhile...
Apparently back when I was smoking was just before "I" was able to pay attention to "them" yet!

So, I've just been having this nagging feeling ever since I posted that the other day... and finally I took the time to get meditative, turn my attention inward, and ASK...

They want me to try it again now that we're closer. I'll have to think about it... for some reason it makes me have this weird butterfly feeling in my tummy when I think about trying it again... how silly!

Hey Crackerjack,

I hope it goes well for you!! (:

Personally my experience with weed made every so much WORSE. At first i was relaxed then it hit my like a train. It emphasized my dissociaticion so bad i couldnt recignize one of my legs as mine. I couldnt move it and no split was in control of it. It made me dissociate random parts of me all over my body that i could not control or feel. I was completely calm the entire time which made it worse honestly cause i cpuldnt ask for help or seem worried. The way i communicate with splits is i have an imaginary world most meet in. I went there and for a good 5 minutes got locked out of the real world cause i just lost control of the body it was like the keys were in the car and the door was locked and your sitting on the outside. Splits were missing pieces of them visually cause they were having the same problem. I felt really bad seeing everyone suffer so much cause i was selfish. After it passed there was a few days of recovery and we got back into the swing of things.
Weed isnt for everyone, kids lol. Thats my experience at least.

I'm addicted to weed. Whoever says it isn't addictive... yes it is. I even got diagnosed with mj dependency one time. I live where it's legal so I smoke every day. I know people who smoke more than I do and they say they need it to function or to sleep. I think it help relieve anxiety and irritability. It calms down the emotional alters, especially Shield the angry one. But in the long run, I think it actually aggravates the dissociation. My pathology includes compulsive tuning-out, and the mj enhances that.