Advice for a singlet dating a system?

Long story short, I recently started a relationship with someone who hadn't realized they were a system until I suggested they look into it. As it turns out, they have a LARGE system and I've been dating most of the members simutaneously, which we're all fine with. As we both are very new to do, I would REALLY appreciate advice from those experienced with one person dating many system members. How do you make it work, give appropriate time to everyone, share special experiences etc.? I love them all so much and want to be fair to every one and share my life with them.

Hi MoonstoneCrab =)

My girlfriend and I are together since March now, even if we were best friends before being a couple. Well, anyway, the most important thing she do to us is validating the presence of everyone. My system is new to the outside world, I discovered about alters and DID only one year ago and before that, Daemon was keeping every other one inside, and we learn everything by ourselves, with the help of this forum. So being accepted by someone outside means a lot to them. They still not comfortable with being obviously out, but they like my girlfriend for wanted to know them and help everyone.
Nathan said days ago, after she offered a plush just for him : "If I wasn't only five yo, you'll be my girlfriend too !". He was so happy ! Now we're back to my mother's house, he want to sleep with the plush every night.
Daem see her as a one he want to protect like he protect the system. It makes him feel strange to want to protect someone out xD
Even Alexis, who was like "I don't care of her" is now more concerned because she says she love all of us, even him, and want to be there for all of us.

The worst thing you can do to us is to say "go back, I prefere to see [another one]". A guy we met on another forum did this once, Daem and I were really upset. My girlfriend never did that. Sometimes she ask if one of the insiders want to come out to have a hug, but she never asks us to change the one who's out.

This is the only things I can tell you. We're still learning how to do with each other, specially it's the first time I'm in couple with someone. I know there's other people on this forum who's got more experience thant us, I hope they'll answer quickly to you =)

Dwelt wrote:Hi MoonstoneCrab =)

My girlfriend and I are together since March now, even if we were best friends before being a couple. Well, anyway, the most important thing she do to us is validating the presence of everyone.

Thank you for your info!

Hi MoonstoneCrab

It's nice that you want to be fair to everyone in the System. Just be available, flexible and receptive. Your friend's System will adjust their interaction with you as their needs vary. Don't try and force anything on them for the sake of 'fairness'. You are being fair by validating their needs as and when they are communicated.

Good luck... Brett