Anthony...

I am feeling quite anxious today, and the little ones are not doing much better either.
I had a dream last night that Anthony was out and he was terrorizing the system. Everyone was screaming and hiding, he was hitting and yelling and it kept happening all night. I dont know if it was a dream or not.
Last year the day after Easter (which is Easter's Birthday and she is now 5) We landed in the hospital because Anthony forced one of the littles to take medicine to be quiet. I know my anxiety is probably stemming from that incident, but I cant help but worry that he may have figured a way around his lockdown. ANd this horribly oppressive feeling just came down on my shoulders and i must go lie down.

i would love to say that you'll be fine but i just can't try and be as careful as possible and make sure anthonys where hes supposed to be post back soon or i'll worry bout you

Josh

Alter expert, enter. (AKA, here comes D) Now look here you, just cuz an alter is in lockdown, doesn't mean they're gone. Just cuz they like to remind you they're still a part of you, doesn't mean they broke out. Kinda like Smiley shooting Mike grins in the mirror, or putting bad violent images of self-mutilation or harming others in his head. Like he'll look at scissors, and the image of snipping off his own fingers comes to mind, $#%^ like that. We had a period like this a while ago, if you recall. And it turned out Smiley was still locked up. So you're fine. Don't be upset, he's not out, he's just reminding you he's still there. Thats all he can do. Only an outside force can bring him back. Unless of course you locked him in a mirror and risk the chance of breaking a mirror, thus releasing all the chains and locks...

- D

Go inside and check if everyone's still in the place they usually are, if they're allright, and check if anyone else has a recollection of this. It could just be your anxiety because of what happened last year, or Anthony reminding you he's still there like D's said, but just check inside to make sure.

Take care!!

I think he is still in lock down, noone is hurt, and I am the one who keeps dreaming about him. Vivi is a mess though too and today she is really bugging me I had to get out the marker and let her draw on our arms to try to feel a little better. But I had to hide the razor when we took a shower... but we are feeling a little better after the shower and the yucky morning feelings from anthony have subsided a bit. But I think maybe tonight in therapy I will let my T know about Anthony and see what she thinks we should do... hopefully something can be done...
Thanks everyone!
talk to you soon...