Medication?

That small [white?] pill was likely prazosin! A wonderful pill when you're afraid of psych meds, as it doesn't affect the brain.

niva wrote:That small [white?] pill was likely prazosin! A wonderful pill when you're afraid of psych meds, as it doesn't affect the brain.

I have tried beta blockers... They didn't do anything from memory but it was a while ago and I was in a bad place at the time so I think I needed something a bit more. My mum has tried them as well for depression or something, I dunno, my family isn't the best at talking about psych related issues -_- so I become a psych student?? Hmmm interesting hahahaha. Either way she said they really helped her! So maybe if you stress about the heavy ones, you could give them a go?

Citalopram also made me super sleepy. My husband hated it cause I turned into a zombie apparently.

I am liking the seroquel at the moment because you can kinda take it as you go, i don't have to use it every day. If I am staying at home and nothing stressful is happening I can have a day off and nothing adverse happens like with anti depressants. I don't like getting too dependent on them so this is working well. I also have ativan for the panic attacks but I only need them very sparingly.

Prazosin is not a beta blocker. It's an alpha 1 blocker. Was enough for ninchen, but not enough for me (abilify is)

Yeah it wasn't enough for me at the time...
-Viki (host)

It seems less scary saying you're taking a beta blocker than an anti anxiety though
-Lucy (little)

Whew, the med treadmill. I told my doctor it was like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. She said that unfortunately, that's pretty much how it works. Most of the issues that we've presented with that could be treated by meds were the anxiety and depression (which includes hallucinations for some of us). Have been on both Paxil and Prozac and while they help with the anxiety and some of the mood issues, the side effects were too much to be willing to stay on them-tremors and sexual side effects. Have been put on trazodone twice for sleep, once at 100mg daily which was way too much as we react really strongly to sleep meds and it caused zombification. I drooled on myself. The second time was as needed, but couldn't bring myself to take them and the doc took us off them because we wasn't using them anyway. Was on topamax for a while and we absolutely loved it, but had some severe neurological reactions and were taken off of it rather quickly since it was causing brain damage. That is a really unusual reaction, in case anyone is using it. I don't want to frighten anyone. Was given tramadol for pain and found that really helpful for mood as well, but was told it can be very addictive (which is something we also have to watch out for). Effexor was terrible for us as it caused a weird form of agitation and just seemed to make everything worse. Unrelated to psych conditions we took chantix to try and quit smoking. It worked but it exacerbated every psych condition. We've recently started wellbutrin for depressive symptoms and it helps. The seroquel is one of the best things we've ever taken. It helps with the irritation, the psychotic symptoms, sleep, and chronic pain we deal with. Lamictal helps a lot to life mood, but when we take just that we get really manic, the seroquel balances that out as well. Just started vistaril for anxiety and sleep and it seems to be helping, but it seems to be causing horribly vivid nightmares. Startled hubby this week waking up screaming. Like you said though it could just be that we're finally hitting a dream cycle. It's been years and years since I remember having any dreams at all. (Though I guess one of the others could be having/remembering them and not telling me?) The nightmares have always been part of sleeping for us as far back as any memory. That's a big part of our sleep issue, and trauma also caused issues of feeling vulnerable which makes sleep difficult too. At any rate, cuz I'm babbling now, the vistaril does help and it's new enough that it could be side effects that will wear off. Still have to talk to the doc about it. Another thing we try to remember is that we often get side effects for the first 2-3 weeks, but then they usually fade.

Wow....sorry for the novel! Hope I stayed on the topic enough to answer you.

Choriandr wrote:Whew, the med treadmill. I told my doctor it was like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. She said that unfortunately, that's pretty much how it works.

Yeah I can relate. I am up to my 5th different med and I haven't even scraped the top of the barrel... All I have got is something to help with my sleep.

Choriandr wrote:Most of the issues that we've presented with that could be treated by meds were the anxiety and depression (which includes hallucinations for some of us). Have been on both Paxil and Prozac and while they help with the anxiety and some of the mood issues, the side effects were too much to be willing to stay on them-tremors and sexual side effects.

I got super hyper on prozac! I turned manic... Which is really weird because I haven't done that on other SSRI's, unless I was just having a bad week with my alters, that was before I knew about a lot of them.

Choriandr wrote:Have been put on trazodone twice for sleep, once at 100mg daily which was way too much as we react really strongly to sleep meds and it caused zombification. I drooled on myself. The second time was as needed, but couldn't bring myself to take them and the doc took us off them because we wasn't using them anyway.

Haven't tried them... What type of drug are they? Seroquel is working well for my sleep at the moment and anxiety is only bad every now and then so I might keep trying with taking as I go.

Choriandr wrote:Was on topamax for a while and we absolutely loved it, but had some severe neurological reactions and were taken off of it rather quickly since it was causing brain damage. That is a really unusual reaction, in case anyone is using it. I don't want to frighten anyone.

Woah! That's pretty scary. Hope you are ok It really is such a lottery anytime you put substances into your body... Sorry the drug that worked had such an adverse reaction *hug*

Choriandr wrote:Was given tramadol for pain and found that really helpful for mood as well, but was told it can be very addictive (which is something we also have to watch out for).

I also have to watch for addiction. One in my system in particular gets really out of control and she is one of our strongest so she can front for months.
*trigger warning*
I have lost a lot of time to addiction and one particular alter because she just stays on something for months :'( and does a lot that she shouldn't and screws a lot up for us.
*end trigger warning*

Choriandr wrote:Effexor was terrible for us as it caused a weird form of agitation and just seemed to make everything worse.

Sounds like me on prozac.

Choriandr wrote:Unrelated to psych conditions we took chantix to try and quit smoking. It worked but it exacerbated every psych condition.

My mum took that and I tried to a while ago but they wouldn't put me on it. At the time I was diagnosed with Borderline and they generally don't prescribe it to anyone with a history of depression because it exacerbates everything... They sort of said (in their own medical way) you are better off taking the chance of dying of cancer later in life than taking the chance of being on Chantix and maybe dying whilst on it.

Choriandr wrote:We've recently started wellbutrin for depressive symptoms and it helps.

I really need something for my depressive symptoms it's getting really bad and a bit out of hand at the moment. I hate talking about it though and never mention it to the psychiatrist and when he asks I always say no because I get all weird in his office. The alter that sees him is like a robot that knows nothing and just tells him random bits of information. My T had to ring him and tell him my symptoms as he sees them because we were getting no where with just me talking to him haha. I might start writing in a notebook and take that to the psychiatrist so he can see my symptoms that way. Or make a conscious effort to try and talk about my depression.

Choriandr wrote:The seroquel is one of the best things we've ever taken. It helps with the irritation, the psychotic symptoms, sleep, and chronic pain we deal with. Lamictal helps a lot to life mood, but when we take just that we get really manic, the seroquel balances that out as well.

Seroqurel is really working for me too. Tried another antipsychotic but it's effects weren't sudden enough so I stopped taking them because that's unfortunately how my life is, minute to minute.

Choriandr wrote:Just started vistaril for anxiety and sleep and it seems to be helping, but it seems to be causing horribly vivid nightmares. Startled hubby this week waking up screaming. Like you said though it could just be that we're finally hitting a dream cycle. It's been years and years since I remember having any dreams at all. (Though I guess one of the others could be having/remembering them and not telling me?) The nightmares have always been part of sleeping for us as far back as any memory. That's a big part of our sleep issue, and trauma also caused issues of feeling vulnerable which makes sleep difficult too. At any rate, cuz I'm babbling now, the vistaril does help and it's new enough that it could be side effects that will wear off. Still have to talk to the doc about it. Another thing we try to remember is that we often get side effects for the first 2-3 weeks, but then they usually fade.

Yeah the nightmares are a bit of an issue for me too. They aren't always nightmares per say for me but dreams that involve a million emotions and are just REALLY full on and super vivid. I have been on it about four weeks now I think and the frequency of the nightmares has definitely dropped. I am only getting about one a week now and they seem to be more distant. Just as real and full on but it's more like I am watching a real movie as opposed to it being me in the dream if that makes sense. Like I am further away from the screen and if I reached out I wouldn't be able to touch it but it's there. So hopefully after a while they will get more minimal and further away so they aren't an issue. You really need to stick with them when it comes to side effects... Unless they are unbearable, like with Prozac I spent 600 dollars in two days... It was like stay on them and be broke or get off them and risk a massive down.... I got off them haha.

Choriandr wrote:Wow....sorry for the novel! Hope I stayed on the topic enough to answer you.

Apology unnecessary ^_^ sorry I took so long to reply, I'm doing exams and trying to sift through the slight mess that is my mind at the same time so I struggle to invest a lot of time on the forum, I do love it when I can spend time though! Thanks for your reply!

VikixxLouise wrote:Yeah I can relate. I am up to my 5th different med and I haven't even scraped the top of the barrel... All I have got is something to help with my sleep.

I don't know if the newer meds make this easier or harder really. They seem to be much safer, but then again just leaves that many more to try. I'm glad you found something to help with sleep, and hopefully soon you'll find something else that helps, too.

VikixxLouise wrote:I got super hyper on prozac! I turned manic... Which is really weird because I haven't done that on other SSRI's, unless I was just having a bad week with my alters, that was before I knew about a lot of them.

I was told this can happen sometimes if you're bipolar, because what's needed is a mood stabilizer and not specifically an antidepressant. Some meds need to treat groups of symptoms instead of just one was how it was explained to me. idk if that applies to you, but perhaps could've been part of that.

VikixxLouise wrote:Haven't tried them... What type of drug are they? Seroquel is working well for my sleep at the moment and anxiety is only bad every now and then so I might keep trying with taking as I go.

The trazodone is given for sleep, as far as I know. I think it's one of the earlier antidepressant meds. They help a lot of people, I just think maybe my earlier bad experience - which was due to the psychiatrist not taking important things into account - turned me off them.

VikixxLouise wrote:Woah! That's pretty scary. Hope you are ok It really is such a lottery anytime you put substances into your body... Sorry the drug that worked had such an adverse reaction *hug*

I'm ok now, though there were some permanent effects, though they don't seem to get any worse over time. It's hard to tell though if the cognitive issues are simply from that now or if there are other things exacerbating it as well.

VikixxLouise wrote:I also have to watch for addiction. One in my system in particular gets really out of control and she is one of our strongest so she can front for months.
*trigger warning*
I have lost a lot of time to addiction and one particular alter because she just stays on something for months :'( and does a lot that she shouldn't and screws a lot up for us.
*end trigger warning*

Sorry to hear that you deal with this. It seems to be kind of genetic too. idk if there's any scientific evidence for it, but addiction problems seem to run in families. Can relate to that one alter that doesn't want to give up harmful habits and substances. Overall it's gotten better, but we can't seem to quit smoking for example. The body itself gets addicted chemically and then the rest of us have cravings to fight as well. It's really frustrating.....which is probably an understatement.

VikixxLouise wrote:Sounds like me on prozac.

Seems weird how different meds will do that to you. At first it's great because you're not depressed or whatever, but man it's not worth it in the end!

VikixxLouise wrote:My mum took that and I tried to a while ago but they wouldn't put me on it. At the time I was diagnosed with Borderline and they generally don't prescribe it to anyone with a history of depression because it exacerbates everything... They sort of said (in their own medical way) you are better off taking the chance of dying of cancer later in life than taking the chance of being on Chantix and maybe dying whilst on it.

It wasn't quite that bad, though I did have a lot of problem with anger control and self injury at the time. Well, more than usual I should say. This was in '08 when the stuff was very new on the market and a lot of these effects weren't known yet. I have a dx of borderline too, though that's really questionable right now. I guess really it's a balancing act. The risk of cancer is so very high for me that they may have put me on it anyway.

VikixxLouise wrote:I really need something for my depressive symptoms it's getting really bad and a bit out of hand at the moment. I hate talking about it though and never mention it to the psychiatrist and when he asks I always say no because I get all weird in his office. The alter that sees him is like a robot that knows nothing and just tells him random bits of information. My T had to ring him and tell him my symptoms as he sees them because we were getting no where with just me talking to him haha. I might start writing in a notebook and take that to the psychiatrist so he can see my symptoms that way. Or make a conscious effort to try and talk about my depression.

I do this too. Some of it is fog that kicks in, I think someone doesn't want to share and so makes me forgetful of symptoms. I'm also learning that a lot of things I've given myself a hard time for over the years are symptoms of depression too, so it's hard to share symptoms if you don't know that's what they are. My energy levels and sleep problems were a big example of this for me. I just assumed I was lazy. Also when I'm feeling better it's harder to remember what it feels like when I'm not. The notebook is kind of what I do. I track sleep and eating and things like that sometimes to see if there are patterns. It seems to help the doctor much more than my jumbled mumblings. lol

VikixxLouise wrote:Seroqurel is really working for me too. Tried another antipsychotic but it's effects weren't sudden enough so I stopped taking them because that's unfortunately how my life is, minute to minute.

I'm glad to hear it's working for you too. I know a couple other people on it as well and it helps them a lot. I hear you about the minute to minute thing. Sometimes have to fight with everyone to give things a chance to work.

VikixxLouise wrote:Yeah the nightmares are a bit of an issue for me too. They aren't always nightmares per say for me but dreams that involve a million emotions and are just REALLY full on and super vivid. I have been on it about four weeks now I think and the frequency of the nightmares has definitely dropped. I am only getting about one a week now and they seem to be more distant. Just as real and full on but it's more like I am watching a real movie as opposed to it being me in the dream if that makes sense. Like I am further away from the screen and if I reached out I wouldn't be able to touch it but it's there. So hopefully after a while they will get more minimal and further away so they aren't an issue. You really need to stick with them when it comes to side effects... Unless they are unbearable, like with Prozac I spent 600 dollars in two days... It was like stay on them and be broke or get off them and risk a massive down.... I got off them haha.

I'm hoping the nightmares slow down for me. Still haven't as much. I do have a theory that it's simply because I'm actually reaching a level of sleep where I dream now where I wasn't doing that before. It does work quite well for the anxiety and I like having something as needed instead of daily because some days I just don't need it. I've cut back on taking them a little bit too. Talked to my doctor and she said I didn't have to take one at night if the seroquel seems to be working, and that seems to make for less disturbing dreams too. I can't even imagine spending $600 in two days (well, ok, maybe some of us can but I can't). That would definitely be a deal breaker for me! It's hard to tell which side effects will wear off and which won't.

VikixxLouise wrote:Apology unnecessary ^_^ sorry I took so long to reply, I'm doing exams and trying to sift through the slight mess that is my mind at the same time so I struggle to invest a lot of time on the forum, I do love it when I can spend time though! Thanks for your reply!

Glad it was helpful. As for taking so long to reply, hehe, same here. Sometimes outside life just turns into chaos, or inside is chaos and you can't get anything done either way.

I've tried 15 medications and I've settled on Topamax and Latuda. Topamax works really well at quieting down the chatter in my head- makes it a bit farther away. Latuda works great in that it takes away a lot of the fear that the younger parts of me have. If I don't take it, I end up too scared to go to work.
Antidepressants used to work years ago, for some odd reason, but in the past couple years as I've changed, all they do is make it almost "manic." I could definitely pass for being bipolar, although I know I'm not; it's just switching and another part of me that gets too excited, plus the whole "not being able to regulate my emotions" thing.

Never let my wife take any of that stuff...didn't really need to because of the way we are doing things. But I ran across a magazine issue recently that raised a number of red flags about the entire medicine subject. I will preface this by saying, I tried to see if this magazine is legit or not. It appears to be respected and the articles in it are exhaustively cited by experts in the field, but at the same point, I realize charlatans and quacks could go to great lengths to make something look legit and I'd probably never know it. So all I'm saying is 'reader beware.'

http://abct.org/docs/PastIssue/38n7.pdf