weird sleep stuff

does anyone else have a weird dissociation thing happen around going to sleep and waking up? a lot of the time that is when i hear/ have conversations with alters, and go inside my head. or otherwise i am starting to dream even before i get to sleep.

i thought it was hypnogogic/hypnopompic stuff but ive read that this is hallucinations that are superimposed onto the external surrounding reality and for me it is all going on inside my head.

i have had sleep paralysis before too but only once and it was right after a flashback related dream. is there any link between DID and sleep disorders? im in a real bad insomnia recently after i got triggered i just keep waking up at night and really early in the morning. im totally exhausted but i just cant sleep. when i have these sudden awakenings i always notice these very small abrasions on my hands - what am i doing in my sleep!!! i have to wonder!!

i cant find any one thing that fits my sleep problems - can it be DID?

Hi Rai-Rai,

I don't recognize everything you write, but I'm a severe insomniac. Any condition can cause sleeping-problems, it's one of the first things that tends to become disturbed when you're troubled.

It's occurred that alters ran on the streets at night and/or injured the body when I actually thought to have had a good night's sleep.
I'm not sure about what you experience before going to sleep, but I do experience stories developing inside my mind when awake, and them continuing when I drift off. But I don't think it's what you meant, you were talking about hallucinations.. But are they still hallucinations when they're inside your head?

Hope you can work through your sleeping-issues Rai-Rai..

Nindy

Hi Nindy

Thanks for your reply. can i ask you something - how did you find out about alters getting up to stuff while you were asleep? i have thought about setting a camcorder but i think i would not be able to handle the shock of seeing whatever it is that happens, if it is anything!

i think you phrased it much better than me when you say whether its a hallucination if its in my head. because i think its not - i wouldnt call what im experiencing hallucinations - and thats why i wonder if its dissociation... the best way to describe it is like i am dreaming but i am still awake. what you say about stories developing and continuing sounds like it kind of actually. except it is like i go inside my head. i am still awake just well, dissociated i guess.

i am wondering though, if it is dissociation, why it happens at this time so often, and otherwise when i lose time i do not always find myself inside my head more like i just go away somewhere.

but then maybe i am just sleep deprived and this means i am dissociating more!!!

i am sorry you have bad insomnia... what is it like for you if you dont mind me asking? for me i have slept properly only a few times for the past year and a half!! sometimes it is just waking up exhausted but then i get a trigger or something and my sleeping goes totally weird. i can sleep a couple hours a night and be totally wired the next day - or totally exhausted - theres no method to the madness!!

Hi Rai-Rai,

I found out about what the alters did/had done because we wrote on a different forum at the time, and because we journalled. Since we visited that forum daily and were accepted there, things became clear quite soon. And when I noticed injuries on the body I'd always ask in our journal if the one who'd done it please would tell me, with the reassurance that I wouldn't be angry about it. Of course that didn't always work, but it did for most of the time.

Setting a camcorder is a possibility, but that would be very confronting, and you split for a reason, so it might be "necessary" for you not to know what's happening at night. Try journalling if that's possible, setting a camcorder can always be done if nothing else works out. If an alter finds out a camcorder's set to watch him/her there can come distrust into the system as well; I'd just keep it open as an option for now and try what works for you.

When you're sleep-deprived you can dissociate more often, and when you dissociate more often you can get sleep-deprived. It goes two ways. I'm familiar with the "going inside my head". Whenever I lose time, it's like someone's been cutting memories out of my mind. But I also have an "inner world", where most of the alters go to when they switch in after being out. And that feels different, more like what you describe. But I'm having a hard time explaining.

I'm unable to get to sleep. I get panic-attacks at night and too many thoughts whirl inside my head. It drags on for hours until I drift off, sometimes around 6AM, and then I'm filled with awful dreams. Whenever I wake up and start walking around, my mind is still inside my nightmares. Somewhere at noon/evening I start waking up for real, and then it's not long from the whole cycle starting over again. Tiring...

Hi Rai-Rai

i am wondering though, if it is dissociation, why it happens at this time so often,

Before my alters appeared to me or anyone else, every night at 11:36 i would have a flashback, night terror, or some weird scary thing happen. Then i was diagnosed and started working with the alters and it diminished in frequency, then it started again a few weeks later and we discovered it was an alter who had been programmed to hurt the body at that time. It was a significant time that I dont want to describe because its triggering.
I dont know if that is what is happening to you, but maybe you recognize the same things. Hope this helps.
Good luck,
Amber

HI,

I HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE GETTING TO SLEEP TOO. I GET UP A LOT AT NIGHT, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE ( I GOT TO GO PEE) SOMETIMES I WANT TO SLEEP UNDER THE BED. IT'S KIND OF HARD TO JUMP ON SOMEONE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE BED.I WOULD ALSO SLEEP WITH A BIG KNIFE AND BASEBALL BAT. I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID TO DOZE OFF. I SLEEP WITH MY STUFFED ANIMALS NOW. AND MY CATS. BUT I STILL HAVE TROBLE SLEEPING

MY HEAD WON'T SHUT UP TOO. I LIKE TO GET UP AND GET SOME THING TO EAT. IT REALLY PISSES OFF OTHER PARTS OF ME. OH' WELL. THEY COULD STAND A FEW POUNDS ANY WAY. THEY WON'T REMEMBER, AND SAY THEY'RE TIRED. THEY WILL PROBABY BE MAD.

SOME TIMES I SPACE OUT. LIKE DAYDREAMING, ONLY I DON'T REMEMBER. MY T. CALLS IT A TRANS. SOME TIMES I SCRACH MY HANDS AND ROCK. I DON'T KNOW WHY. BY THE TIME I KNOW I'II BE BLEEDING SOME TIMES. I HOPE YOU FIND OUT WHY THINGS ARE HAPPENING. GOOD LUCK!

BENNY