...Don't know what to say...

Well, let's start off by saying hello. We have been absent for a while because of things and issues going on in our life, but we are back and going to try to reply and post more.

Strange things have been happening for us lately. I, for one, have been in denial for a very long time now and have finally come out of it. It was strange. It was like no one wanted to talk to me or Controller had blocked them off from me again. Well, anyway, what ever happened, it's over now. Denial is not fun, I can say that much.

The real issue is that we have been told we have migraines, but we don't know if it could be rapid switching or not. We have many unknown alters and fragments in our system now, so I don't know if we are switching constantly or it really is migraines. I have also been thinking that it could be something else; I don't really want to go into that yet because I don't want to think about it.

Starr just needs to rant, I know that. She has no idea if we are switching rapidly. If we lose time constantly for like a few seconds, but it consumes our whole day, practically. Does this mean that we are switching or having absence seizures? We have been contemplating that too because we are showing similar signs with have those as well. She doesn't want to get into that because she thinks that there is no way that she could have those because we have no issues besides the ones that we have listed in our signature.

Like she said, she has just finally come out of denial. It was about three-four weeks of denial. While she was in that, we were all trapped on the inside. We were not able to do anything. We couldn't communicate to each other or with Starr. It was very strange, but we have started to recover from that.

Our only question is: Have you ever lost time in seconds every few minutes for the entire day? What happens when "you" come back from that little absence?

It depends on who is out at that time, but I know Starr rapidly blinks and rubs her eyes when this happens. For me I just shake my head and get on with what I was doing. We just want to know if we are not alone in having this happen or if we need to talk to our Pdoc about this, when she doesn't even believe that we are real... It is really bothering Starr, so we need to figure out what we can do about this, or if we can't why this is happening and if others have experienced this too. Thank you for reading this and replying, if you do. We appreciate all that is said to us and what you have experienced and are willing to share.

Hello. Yes I have had moments where I lose time for very small amounts of time. After I come back, I usually feel dazed and confused. Afterwards I search my memory to see if I can find anything to tell me what happened in those few minutes. Sometimes I don't find one and sometimes I do but the memory seems foggy and detached like it's not mine. Usually this happens more when I'm stressed which I have been with performances and finals for college coming up.

Hello!

This used to happen a lot to me after my DID awakening. I'd "come back" all confused and would lose time. I'd look around (me or other alters) in confusion.

Now with good collaboration and communication with my alters we're more co-conscious.

I’ve had few episodes of rapid switching among identities that have ended up in the emergency room and been first diagnosed as psychotic. (That was before DID diagnosis). There was a sense of absence and overwhelming confusion every few minutes and headaches too but was told afterwards that was literally switching from one “mood or state” to another. One minute crying or hauling and the next being catatonic or angry and condescending to everyone. This has only happened after a huge crisis in personal life.

Then I get migranes too but I don’t recall having them (just minor ongoing headaches) when that “temporary breakdown of dissociative barriers” was going on. And then small absences and confusion as well as bigger ones on a daily basis but those time where markedly different it was so rapid and ongoing that made surviving really hard.

To your questions: Has this happened?
Yes, I think I’ve experienced something like this. Just manifested in such bizzare behavior that it lead to being hospitalized for a few weeks each time.

To your second question: What happens when you come back from absence?
I don’t know if you mean in between those short breaks during the “episode” or after that was all over and got to go home and back to daily routines. But I remember thinking now this is too much. It is often hard to keep track of time, keep appointments etc. but then it was like did I die a second ago and then come back to life or what. Then when I was trying to shake it off you realize it has happened all over ago. Was very afraid to go out of the home. There was co-consciousness for a minute or two with one of the identities and she was in more of a struggle with something, but as was not really into trying to communicate with her just trying to get rid of her… I never asked what was going on with her. I think she would have answered as she was speaking to me and so where many of the others too. But then it was all blank again and for few moments I could continue my business like usual. It was exhausting, whole body had aches and pains. Couldn’t sleep much even though tired. It was just more confusing than normally making almost everything impossible. Couldn’t drive a car, make a dinner, was afraid to go to the shower etc.

When it was finally all over fell into major depression.

Hope your denial stage is over and rapid switching will come to a hault soon! Hope you have someone around that can give you more support now!

Thanks for your replies. Sorry we couldn't get on earlier, Starr had a shutdown and we had finals to go to as well. We still don't know what it is, but we do know that we have been rapidly switching again. It isn't going very well because some of us are very talkative and others are non-verbal. We switch for a few minutes then someone else comes out. It puts a strain on Starr and she is starting to "lose her mind" so to speak.

Starr does not realise we might be the ones causing her headaches, most of the time anyways. Sometimes it may be migraines due to the fact that it sometimes comes out of nowhere and causes a dull throbbing in the back or sides of the head. I have a headache now, but I know it is just a headache.

Thank you for your comments. Taijalind, we have been diagnosed as psychotic too. Our rapid switching stopped for a day or two, but they have started again and it is horrible. ElKahn, with how many we are, I don't know the total count, it is hard to have good communication because not everyone wants to be known or talked to. Viola, it is nice to know that I am not alone. Thank you again for replying.