Eating issues

So I have some parts that really seem to not care what I've got to say about healthy eating and portion size. I'll just watch in horror as they devour stuff that I'll be thinking to them they shouldn't be doing... It's not healthy but it's like they don't care. Like they think it's better to have the stuff they want to eat regardless of the cost to the body. Like they think they've had a hard enough time already without denying themselves enormous amounts of unhealthy enjoyable food too. I really don't know what to do. It's like all my arguments about what is healthy and will look after the body don't count for anything in their opinion. Like they don't really care if we end up with diabetes or a heart attack or something because they need the comforting food NOW and the idea of dying and being sick to them in the future doesn't count as much to them as how bad they are wanting the food now.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do about this problem? I want to stop them, but equally I feel bad that they are in a bad enough way not to care. I don't think reasoning with them about our health seems to be helping but I don't know what will help.

Hey we have that problem too. We thought that it was about Jess being obsessed with her weight.
The thing she has us doing is calorie counting so we can at least know how bad it is. We all stick to that but it's not like it will make us eat much less, If we need it we need it anyway, even if the calories say that we don't need it.
I don't really have any answers but I do hope that someone does cause she is kinda driving us crazy with her obsession to stay skinny. It's true I allow us to eat because we emotionally need it. She isn't like that, someone who grabs for comfort food, so she doesn't know how agonizing it is not to get it when we need it.
The only thing that works for us is exercise. It both suppresses hunger and does something about the excess calories. Too bad that something is in our personal life is preventing us from exercising for now.

Hi Salted,

Any idea the ages of these alters enjoying the comfort of food? I would ponder how to come up with alternative sources of comfort. I have a list of self care for the whole of me but I can see where a short list for these alters may help you out. And then I'm thinking like a loving parent in terms of directing these behaviors...I have an alter that it is hard to say no to as well but I was very surprised at her response when I just said no you can't do that. I think it may be helpful though to say yes you can do this instead which will make you feel better.

So I don't really know, just thoughts here, ignore if it's not helpful to you. I do get the comfort food thing. Xoxo

I have an alter who doesn't eat much at all. At the most, one snack a day. But she's only out during long stretches of social interactions, like a holiday with other people around all the time. When I moved in with someone, she stopped eating altogether and I lost a scary amount of weight, so I know what it's like not being able to control their eating habits.

However, when I moved out of that situation, I discovered that I had a medical condition with no real cure, and the only possible way to improve it is through a very strict healthy diet. At that point my alter with the strongest will, Leon, basically buckled down and lorded over the others, allowing me to get on with my healing. We shared co-conciousness for a long time, and still do, and he won't let others near me in the kitchen. (Except in particularly stressful social situations, during which it all gets a bit too out of hand for him. If others are out a party or something, who knows what they'll eat.) I think he even affected the body's sweet tooth, because even the ones that used to eat sugary stuff all the time are repulsed by it now. I'm not sure if he just scared them away from it...

Do you have an alter that you know has influence over the others? A protective alter that you could appeal to somehow?

Perhaps that alter does not often get to eat. Perhaps also, that alter can front more while eating, and the others less, so it all balances out? : )

Can another alter prepare the food?

Possible mild triggers?

I just only go grocery shopping when the health kick one is in the background, which I am pretty sure is our male alter.

I'm lucky in that I don't seem to switch very often, unless I am sleep deprived, in which case I'm almost guaranteed to either black out eventually or wind up in passenger/observer mode.

But since I'm generally fronting and only dealing with insane passive-influence levels and internal voices, I usually get to call shots (again as long as I'm not sleep-deprived).

As far as eating I see three very strong trends:

1. Total health nut, usually willing to try extreme health diets and whatnot, pretty sure it's the male
2. Starves herself / obsessed with body image issues (will go days without eating anything)
3. Junk binge extraordinaire (could eat 12 waffles and keep going, for example)

It's a serious pain because the constant rapid/extreme weight fluctuations have pretty much destroyed my boobs. -___-

But that's about the best I can do. When I can tell we're about to go into intense health-kick mode, that's when I go to the grocery store and load up on all sorts of stuff I'd normally never even think of, like probiotic yogurt and whey protein powder and such.

Then if the self-starvation one comes into play, the argument can be made that we have nutrient-dense foods, so low calories but high nutrition.

And when the binge mode comes upon us, at least we're binging on like, Greek yogurt mixed with bananas or something.

I figure it's a similar approach to just about anyone trying to diet, as far as trying to only have good stuff in the house/apartment. It just takes a little more coordination with a system.

And then of course I get weird "little" experiences in the grocery store sometimes, too. So I walk out with a bunch of health foods and a can of spaghettios lol.

Humm, well, for me, the ones who are devouring stuff are doing it to satisfy a need of something. And that need needs to be comprehended by them (I think), before they can willingly choose not to eat them.

Sometimes it is a loss, they are grieving, or well, other things. Have they always eat this way? Is there a particular time in which they started doing it? Do you know what happened around that time that could help explaining what emotional need they have?

In the meantime, this has worked for me:

- I only have at home healthy snacks. Unhealthy ones, I leave them on the store, and if I'm really, really craving one, well, I have to fight laziness to go to the store.
- I have healthy, easy to it, yummy snacks. Nuts, cheese, yogurt, dried fruit, tea. So, if I crave something I go for them.
- I changed the concept of reward. So ice cream is not a reward, but a fruit salad, or a smoothie.
- I question how well I feel after I eat them. Usually the body doesn't feel that good after unhealthy snacks. Too sweet, don't bring that much pleasure, and so on.
- I eat things that will make me feel full. Nuts usually do that, and fruit juices before the meal.
- I question before eating anything I think of as unhealthy, if it's worthy. ok, if I'm going to gain weight I'm going to do it with something that brings me a lot of pleasure.
- And I try to have only once per week, tops, of something that is not so good, but that I really enjoy.
- Prepare, and learn to prepare yummy dishes that are healthy. Have them ready for when this alter is out.
- I also get to see the body as something beautiful and feel bad of putting garbage in it. For example, I imagine a hurt having a hard time pumping blood the the body because veins are obstructed, so I try to help it, by eating better.

So, maybe you could ask the one who devours to maybe read and if he/she wants, and try any of this if it works for them.

Hope something works.

Sea

I am short on words. exhausted. but:

Disordered eating is usually about stuffing, starving, and/or purging unwanted/intolerable feelings and is usually related to a feeling of having no control. A way to control feelings. An illusion of control. What is/are the feelings? (sadness? fear? guilt? shame? excitement? anger?). And/or what is causing the need to be in control? (had none in the past? worry about future? present stressors?). The disordered eating behaviours are just symptoms of the problem. Focus on fixing the problem (unless the body is at risk)

Hi salted.

First, it's important to try to understand why your alters are so obsessed with food. Is one of them leading all the others to do it, or do they all agree? I know it may difficult, but good communication within the system is crucial in order to cooperate and make it an effective system. It takes time and patience, but it can be done.

Have you tried to have a reunion, addressing all your problems and listening to theirs?

You are all so amazing and thoughtful! Thank you all so much. What an amazing set of replies!

It has given me a lot to think about. I will reply a bit more when I'm feeling a bit more up to it. I just wanted to send you all a massive thank you for how amazingly thoughtful, insightful and sometimes personal your replies all were. They have all helped me in some way. I'll try to write more when I'm doing a bit better...