My Closet

This is kind of a nonsense, just for fun.

I was cleaning up in my closet today and actually started looking at the clothes I own. My style ranges from holey, man-style jeans and men's sweaters to flowery, feminine dresses to sexy, nightclub clothes to the teen hand-me-downs from my daughter. I would never say that I'm a "Tara" meaning overt DID, but I never realized how many different "styles" I wear. This weekend a close friend mentioned she could tell the difference between a few of my alters by whether or not I have make-up on and how much.

I wonder if prior to my diagnosis there was a certain amount of blindness. As I look around my house I realize how eclectic or downright strange my collections might seem. My bookcase holds books ranging from juvenile fiction (Blume, Cleary, Ingalls) to romance to science fiction to heavy classics. I often have at least three books going at any one time.

All of this used to seem absolutely normal to me, yet I wonder if it should have been a sign to me.

Do your alters at least have decent taste?

At one point (before I apparently went completely nuts, gave everything away and became homeless), my wardrobe included the following 'looks' :

- Victorian Lolita (with tons of roses on everything)
- Cyber Goth
- Psychedelic Hooker
- Librarian
- Militia Wear (militant butch?)
- Everything-Grey Sweats
- Dominatrix
- Formal Business Suits (that I never had a job to wear to)
- Renaissance Fair Hippie

I remember at one point looking through/over everything and thinking, "When in the world would I ever wear this stuff???"

Mind, I was single for years, too. But somewhere along the line that I can't recall, I was attracted to thigh-high platinum-leather platform boots clearly inspired by LSD.

Sounds like fun, Copper Moon and am4kds. My closet does not reveal anything about me because I can't stand shopping or spending money on myself most of the time. I am pretty divorced from my body. I wear the most boring and unexpressive clothes imaginable. I used to shun anything not in plain colors, even. It seems I can never keep all of me happy so none of me can be. I won't address my teen years, when it was all pretty confusing. In my 20s, I used to pretty much dress in ill-fitting rags because the part of me in charge of life for a long period believed in extreme simplicity and plainness. Also I was very poor. Then I went through a time of very tight teenager clothes from Target when a feminine part of me dominated. I even more makeup (unimaginable!). Then conservative modesty attire. Then earth goddessy mama wear. Then back to rags. I guess I have remnants of these in my clothes, but every so often I toss everything. In reality, I wear the same 3 t-shirts and two pairs of jeans almost all the time. When I have to get dressed up (rarely), I panic.

My bookshelves are more telling.

This is so cool I wanna join.

I also have a very mixed wardrobe:

- I have the "business" outfits (elegant pants and shirts)
- I have the sports outfits that are divided into:
- Aerobics
- yoga
- going out
- I had the military style
- the sexy dresses, skirts and heels (I use them very rarely)
- the hip hop style, baggies and sweaters which I loved some of years ago
- the Caribbean style (sandals, light colors, hats) that I use even in the cities
- the black style, everything I wear was black for a while
- the teen style, leggings and skirts (which I don't like any more)
- the comfortable jeans and tshirts (which has been a constant except in childhood)
- the gipsy style (with long skirts)

One thing that has been constant is that I don't like nor have liked the color pink in any of my clothes. Another thing that is a constant is that I like "different" design. Something weird, like a cut, or a sleeve, that attracts me a lot, in any of my styles. And I use every style depending on how I'm feeling. Though there are sytles that are archived.

Sea

Nondescript wrote:Sounds like fun, Copper Moon and am4kds. My closet does not reveal anything about me because I can't stand shopping or spending money on myself most of the time. I am pretty divorced from my body. I wear the most boring and unexpressive clothes imaginable. I used to shun anything not in plain colors, even. It seems I can never keep all of me happy so none of me can be. I won't address my teen years, when it was all pretty confusing. In my 20s, I used to pretty much dress in ill-fitting rags because the part of me in charge of life for a long period believed in extreme simplicity and plainness. Also I was very poor. Then I went through a time of very tight teenager clothes from Target when a feminine part of me dominated. I even more makeup (unimaginable!). Then conservative modesty attire. Then earth goddessy mama wear. Then back to rags. I guess I have remnants of these in my clothes, but every so often I toss everything. In reality, I wear the same 3 t-shirts and two pairs of jeans almost all the time. When I have to get dressed up (rarely), I panic.

My bookshelves are more telling.

Well tell us about your books! (If you wanna, hehe)

I don't think I ever wore any of the crazy stuff in my wardrobes over the years. I think I enjoyed fantasizing about all sorts of things. That's the way I perceive it when I think back on it. But for whatever reason it seems I would occasionally actually buy stuff to fit these crazy fantasies, and then never use any of said-stuff. I typically wear loose-fitting grey-everything.

In some cases that I can remember, I'm not sure if I really had passive-influence or just really poor judgement / social skills, or something. I recall years ago (maybe 4-5 years ago?) going on a date, and when I got to the car (the guy picked me up) I was dressed in a costume-like outfit and was wearing a really unnatural-looking wig. Looking back on it kind of cracks me up, I remember it from a sort of third-person view. The guy wasn't mean about it, but he just assertively told me to go back into the house and change, and then he would take me out to eat, haha. I remember being flustered, like, "Why doesn't he appreciate that I want to look sexy for him???" but looking back on it I was definitely not dressed for Olive Garden haha. Gee wiz. I can't even imagine leaving the house in an outfit like that, I'd die of humiliation, but in that moment in time, apparently I thought it was perfect.

I'm not sure if all of me can be happy, either, but we have had some adventures for sure. >_>

Most of the clothes I wear. The exceptions would be the nightclub/dance club clothes and the office suits. The office suits are left over from when I still worked 11 years ago. The dance club clothes are some of those what the hell was I thinking. I'm middle age with 4 children and have social anxiety...when was the last time I was in a bar?

I don't go shopping for clothes, I don't go shopping at all. Yet, I always seem to find something I can't live without on the clearance rack. Most of my stuff come from thrift shops...love thrift shops. I also get hand-me-downs from friends and my teenage daughter . My biggest problem is actually getting rid of clothes. I can't ever purge my closet because I can't tell you how many times I end up in a fit after realizing something I was looking forward to wearing was given away six months before.

As far as books go; next to my bed right now is a Nora Roberts romance, the Bible, The Iliad (unabridged), and Tale of a 4th Grade Nothing. On my Kindle reader I have an Amish romance and The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook. All of them are currently being read...I have no idea when I have the time.