sexual makes me feel gross... **Big TW**

This whole message might be a trigger, in multiple ways.

A while ago Destiny didn't manage to control her sexual urges and she paid someone to have sex... I got this memory somehow and it's hurting me really bad... I was happy to be a virgin and she took it away from me. I feel like crying now but then people might ask questions... I want to talk about it with someone... get it off my heart... but I feel way to ashamed to talk to anyone... I just feel so gross, so awful. I could just puke right here right now just because of how awful I feel. I want to kill myself but I know Chris won't let me... It hurts so bad... I want to lose this memory... All of it...

Denise

I hope you are feeling better about this today.

For what it's worth, I think it is a matter of opinion whether you are or are not a virgin in light of this event. Experiencing another alter's memory is not the same as remembering your own experience. For me, the two are very different experiences.

Does the memory you have include all the alter's own original sensations and emotions and thoughts? Or is it little more than a mind movie?

I feel a little bit better, really only a little bit....

Sometimes I really feel it, but mostly I just see it, like a movie.