What the heck is going on...??? **Maybe trigger warning***

I just need to know what is going on so I can help them and help myself.

**Possible trigger warning**

My husband has now over 300 alters. Yesterday, one of his alters who hadn't come out yet came out to talk to the T and to let him know he was there to help Ezequiel make the tough decisions because there are too many ppl inside. I don't know all of what was said because I'm only there for 1/2 hour. So, he basically was trying to be a good guy even though he's in the group labeled as not such a great group. I wanted to help to permanently suppress those who don't have a purpose any more or are damaging to Ezequiel and the body. He tried to get ones to volunteer mentioning that it would help Ezequiel and the system overall. Only one decided to do so and he doens't care about anything and he said he wasn't going to change so he told Calvera (the one trying to help) that he could suppress him just let him come out and talk to me first and he would let him know when. Long story short, after he met with me he told him to go ahead and do it. He was gone. I called on someone trying to figure out what happened and then Sybil came out and was freaking out! She asked me what happened to her brother, she couldn't find him and I tried to reason with her to let her know that he had asked Calvera to do it & she didn't believe it and she wanted war on him. She had planned to bring back 10 of the worse alters to deal with him (later we found out they were already there). Before she could, they put her away so she couldn't but they were brought in anyway by someone else and basically all hell broke loose!

Calvera has the power to shoot someone and they are suppressed forever! So, all of a sudden he ends up going with those bad guys and getting rid of people who actually help the system and some others who are just there! I call him out and he tells me that he has nothing to do with them but he's keeping them away from the Littles to make sure the Littles are OK. But they didn't harm Calvera because they use to be in the same group. We lost so many...

This is just too long to write and honestly... it's like a movie! It seriously is, all the details and what had to be done to get rid of the bad men. How they saved some of those that were suppressed w/the help of an indian who in the process was shot too so they couldn't bring back everyone that was suppressed... everyone is so sad.

My husband, they have not told him what has been going on. He has lost several ones whom are close to him. There were ones who were important to the system who were lost! Why?

I'm trying not to show it too much in my writing otherwise this would be so long but some of those who were lost I was very close to. I think of them like they are my family! I cried so much as I heard Nickie tell me who was lost and when the record keeper came out to log who had been lost it I cried and cried... My husbands alters, especially the ones that i have met are my friends and ones I consider to be my family. I don't see my husband when they come out. I see THEM. I see the Littles, they're MY KIDS and the girls they're my BFF's and the men, they're my BROTHERS or just big flirts. I think I'm messing myself up or maybe I'm doing something wrong. Am I? I love them and there are those that hurt others and I'm pissed at them but I try to understand why and work with them.

I'm trying to comfort them and be strong for them when they come out to me and tell me their husband is gone forever or brother or sister is gone or best friend they use to play basketball with. I'm trying to help them yet I'm grieving too! It's as if I've lost that person...

what do I do? what can I do? What do I say to them or the Littles that come out to cry with me? Is there anyway to get them back? Should we? Is having so many people killing my husband? They tell me w/all of the voices and intrusive thoughts and pictures he's barely hanging on my a string! He just tries to be brave with me. He hears voices ALL THE TIME and tries to ignore. Calvera said he needed to do what he needed to do to help my husband and that he was given a list of who needed to go... where did he get that from? Now, he was one of those who was suppressed and they couldn't get him back. He helped fight the bad guys in the end.

Is all of this just something that has to happen this way?
I'm grieving and so sad for my friends that are no longer even though I have to realize they're all part of my husband.
Is this all a part of healing? Those that are gone they didn't get to deal with their issues w/the T.

Am I supposed to get so close?
Therapy is in the stages of Ezequiel being in the "here and now" then he can work w/other things but then others need to work on their issues... when does that being when there are over 300!!?? What can i do to help them begin to heal?

I have 5 husbands an'd I love them all, they're all different, I just found out one of them got shot and is fading away... he's a major part of keeping things together... what do I do?

Why is all of this happening? Someone please tell me... why does all of this have to happen? Haven't they been through enough pain from his abusers!!!!????????????

Someone help me please...

Is it possible if you don't mind, if you get a chance to read my post and you have absolutely no clue as to what is going on would you just respond "no clue" please. I see others are reading the post but no one is responding. It will help me to see that I'm not the only one who doesn't know what is going on.

Thanks.

Well I am not sure how many others there are within me but I surely do not have over the 300!
I wish that I could help but I don't know how (I didn't even know that you could suppress another like that?)
Really, I cannot even fantom the chaos that is going on there.
I'm sorry but I have no clue how to deal with that.

Hello Simply Monet. Maybe I can help. I looked back over your posts in other threads to remind myself of your situation. It was just a year ago that you came here seeking help, and your husband's system became florid only a few months earlier after a head injury. A year ago, just a few months into therapy, the count of alters found was already 59, so clearly his system is polyfragmented and there has to be some kind of internal world. Hopefully it is a good world, where the alters are safe and engaged.

Has your husband's T done any dissociative table work with his system? Generally it is necessary for therapy to focus first on safety and stabilization of the host(s), before doing much work with the insiders. However. When the host is experiencing overwhelming passive influence phenomena, as your husband is, then safety and stabilization work has to be done with the insiders. Otherwise he cannot calm down and focus enough to get anything done.

Ignoring the voices does not help. Suppressing alters does not help. (My view is that all alters are good, all have a function in the system, even though they may seem not to.) How about negotiated contracts? How about respectfully asking the insiders who are aware of the chaos going on outside to help calm things down? Ask them to help with constructive actions, not controlling or punitive ones. Think political solution, not military. Peace, not war.