Dissociated depression

The problem with dissociation is that it numbs and/or compartmentalizes our emotions.
So the thing is (at least for us), that if you've been dissociating your entire life you can never be absolutely sure that something or another is causing certain emotions, or even whether you're actually feeling this emotion at all.
If this is true, then how can we do something about the depression, if we can't remember that we are sad, and don't know the reason for this sadness. I could guess a few, actually many, reasons, but that is all it is; guessing. The more depressed you become, the more dissociated you get. The longer you dissociate, the more the depression piles up behind the walls. How can we escape this circle? If you (even can) stop dissociating, the depression will hit you like crazy, if you can even break this cycle. What if the depression is caused by things that can not be solved? Keep dissociating? I can't collapse. But I don't think I have much energy left to keep fleeing from reality and I worry that I might break it all. I don't like having to fool my own brain every day just to get through the day. It's tiresome. I want that crazy fake euphoria back but it's not fulfilling since it's fake and I don't have enough energy to make it last. I worry that I wont last long anymore and I don't want Eric to take the reigns back. I was doing so good. Does anyone have any tips or resources about how to battle depression, and/or about how depression is different for people who are also dealing with dissociative identity disorder? We may know some things about DID but not really about depression and also not about how the 2 collide when they are co-morbid(?).

You bring up a good point. Depression is a cycle. Being with a trusted person or T has helped me with grounding. You hit the nail on the head, fake Euphoria takes energy. Its something that I can keep up only so long till I cant. Then after that it all sets in. I start to feel fake, and think to myself why did I even try. Its a cycle no doubt. Ive been feeling said lately so I know.


I hope you feel less said.

I have clinical depression and sometimes I go into a depression because the chemicals in my brain are messed up and I need a medication change or increase or something like that. When I go into these depressions everyone in my system responds negatively, if not self destructively. None of us can cope then and we need both help to both keep us safe and meds to bring us through to the other side. Of course when I'm depressed the others come to the front more which makes us more unsafe and makes me feel more helpless and hopeless. It cycles on itself.

Right now I've been stable on a good mix of meds for several months, but we're dealing with a depression that started with the DID. I saw something that triggered one of my parts. She got depressed and became louder, causing other parts to react to her, which in turn made me feel more helpless and hopeless as well as having to deal with self destructive rules set up by another strong part. (if that made any sense at all) With all this going on, I can hide this depression better, but it is exhausting, as you said, and then, of course, the exhaustion feeds back into the depression. I'm also coping (if you could call it that) with the depression by acting on some of the self destructive rules. (harming the body to cover up some of the inside pain)

The difference, I think, is that the depression I have now requires therapy that is geared toward understanding and treating DID. The first example needs this too, but won't make progress without medication. I'm not sure how to tell the difference all the time, except this time I know I was doing well on my meds and I know specifically what the trigger was. Sometimes, I have no idea why it starts. Out whole world just suddenly goes black and we can't find any hope anywhere. As I tried to explain it to my T: I'm doing just fine and then I fall off a cliff. Either way, I've been learning that bad therapy makes a bad thing worse, whether meds are going to help or not. Maybe my new T will make a difference. I'm kinda hoping this and kinda feeling hopeless. Either way, I'm exhausted too, and just want it to end one way or another.

I'm only giving my foggy point of view on the subject. I've had both problems since I was a kid, but have only been diagnosed dissociative in the last couple years and have only had a small taste of appropriate therapy for it. So you can give or take this as to whether it applies to what you are dealing with. I hope you feel better soon.
KK

We don't know much about the subject either, but we suffer from both dissociation and depression. We don't really know when the two overlap, but we know they do. Sometimes we, well the host, gets so depressed that she starts to dissociate. By that point one of our other alters come out and deals with it in his/her own way, not always pretty. We've been diagnosed with depression and have been told that we regularly dissociate with the small and simple things, as well as big things. The host doesn't remember half her high school years because half the time she was out she was depressed and the other half she was dissociating from the rest of the world. So I know the two can overlap, we just don't know how exactly it works. We've had both happen. Hope this helps a little.

The problem with our depression is that even though not all of us suffers from it ,we're still effected by the other parts who have it. It's a bit hard to explain but our emotions are connected somehow so even when the ones without depression are out we still feel it slumbering within us. The ones who suffer from it have a hard time with foccusing and playing host because they're to foccused on the battle within them so they simpely can't deal with the world outside and stay hidden or dissociate as a coping system. The ones who are out now are protectors couse they are able to cut off their feeling from that connection so they can do whatever they need and want to do without interuption. Or system copes by letting the protectors out and search for a way to cope while the others watch from within. We don't have a way to deal with depression directly yet but you'll be the first one to know when we find the answer.
Try to stay strong till then--Three< the main protector.