I'm confused

Hi Everyone!

I'm new here. I don't have DID, but I heard somewhere that different personalities in DID can have different eye colors. This interested me, so I went online and stumbled upon this forum.

I see a lot of people here referring to themselves as "we" and talking about hosts. I kind of understand what is going on... but not really.

What is it like having DID? How many of you are in each body? How do different people take control of the host? I would love to get some more clarity on this.

*mod edit*
(I mean no offense here, I'm just trying to understand...).

Best

i've never heard anything about people with DID having different eye colours. if someone is claiming this then they're lying: it's a physical impossibility. certain eye colours can appear to change colour in different light, such as hazel tones which have more than one pigment in the iris. different facial expressions can change the way light reflects and in these circumstances one might appear to give the illusion of different shades of their particular colour.

experiences are very subjective and based in trauma; DID is a survival mechanism so be aware that some people here may feel threatened by tactless questions, or feel goggled at. there's a lot of information here and some comprehensive explanations if you look around.

the host is the alter that goes about daily life. there can be more than one host, or they can change over time. some people don't have a host and just have different roles assigned for different tasks. you have probably met people with DID; the person you speak to is invariably the host - many people with DID are high functioning. i'm not going to explain how different alters take over because it's triggering for me. there can be anywhere from two to hundreds (rarely thousands) of alters although the average amount is around fifteen.

alters are often created with specific purposes. when facing massive or repeated trauma/neglect/abuse, the mind separates parts of itself as protection. it's common for some of these to be created as protectors, who can be aggressive, hard, callous, egocentric, loud, indomitable or even promiscuous, because it was their role to take the abuse and be strong enough to bear it. sometimes, these protectors form identities that are based on the concept of something the mind considers untouchable, fierce or super powerful, such as a god. one of my alters first manifested as Set, the egyptian god of chaos and storms, during a breakdown.

i don't believe it's acceptable to identify specific members like this as examples in questions without discussing it with them in PM. the question is dismissive and triggering.

Hey.

The host is the alter ('personality') that is in control of the body the most often. There can be anywhere from two alters in a system (collection of all of the alters together) to hundreds. The average number of alters in a system is around 10-16 (depends on the study cited).

A protector is just as it sounds, they have the job of protecting the host or system, and can do this in various ways.

People with DID can use the term "we" to refer to more than one person in a system or to the system as a whole, rather than using "I" which suggests only the person speaking or one alter. Ex: If both the alter fronting and a child part wanted to go get ice cream, they may say "we want to go get ice cream".

I don't know how to explain what having DID is like, so I'll have to think on that one. It's a little different for everyone.

I don't mind answering these questions, but I agree with the previous poster that it was inappropriate to use another member as an example for your question.

Thank you for your insights!

pygmalion wrote:I don't mind answering these questions, but I agree with the previous poster that it was inappropriate to use another member as an example for your question.

I'm sorry, please know that I'm coming from good intentions.

For those wondering, I was actually able to learn a lot by reading...

dissociative-identity/topic122093.html

That is a helpful summary thread for anyone visiting here for the first time. And the Resources section links on to lots of other discussions here. And other websites. Depending on what you're particularly interested in.

For singletons [those without alters / parts.] It's good to read as much as possible before posting. This is first and foremost a support forum for people with DID. [Or who think it's possible. Or aren't sure at all.] Many here don't mind answering general questions as long as they're asked thoughtfully. But it's not quite the point. Please PM me if you have any queries about this.

Ada wrote:That is a helpful summary thread for anyone visiting here for the first time. And the Resources section links on to lots of other discussions here. And other websites. Depending on what you're particularly interested in.

For singletons [those without alters / parts.] It's good to read as much as possible before posting. This is first and foremost a support forum for people with DID. [Or who think it's possible. Or aren't sure at all.] Many here don't mind answering general questions as long as they're asked thoughtfully. But it's not quite the point. Please PM me if you have any queries about this.

Agreed! I'm probably not going to post here further, as I've satisfied my want for knowledge about DID quite well in the past couple of days

I know this thread is a bit out of place, and that's mostly because I didn't think much before posting it, but I want to thank everyone for engaging with me kindly.