as a kid

I hear a lot about how we as adults deal with it and how it manifests in us, but what about a child? I just want to hear other peoples experiences with being a child that dissociated. What are some things you can recall? If anything. I've just been thinking of some stuff....
any replies are welcome.

Not DID here. I don't really remember tbh, my memory is either information or short clips of time (like a few seconds or minutes) or just still images. My auto biographical memory isn't that great.

__nonreality wrote:I just want to hear other peoples experiences with being a child that dissociated. What are some things you can recall? If anything.

That is the point - I recall very little! My long term memory is ridiculously bad.

I know it's common for people with dissociation to not remember any of their childhood but I'm wondering if there was ANYTHING that popped out that made you think back after you were diagnosed, like "oh well that would explain that". Maybe just one small thing? What about what other people told you about you as a child??

Grandma told me that when I was 3 an alter took over and said in a low male voice 'leave that child alone'.
I remember having voices in my head and the alters having a mental representation of their appearance even when I was little. I even remember one of them saying that they 'refuse to be a part of this' (I don't know What they refused to be a part of) and took off from my conscious mind. I remember that some gave advice while others wanted me to hurt myself. I sort of remember spending hours and hours talking to them until mom told me that I couldn't.

I remember in my teens that one of us was telling a friend how he wanted to become a lorry driver, but when seconds later one drove past us someone else screamed that they were stink wagons..
I remember in my teens that I told mom that I was full from eating dinner, but when I came upstairs like two minutes later, I told same friend that I was hungry and started eating.
I also remember really intense bouts of DP/DR and I remember telling classmates not to pay any attention to me cause I wasn't there.
Stuff like that I guess.

bourbon wrote:

__nonreality wrote:I just want to hear other peoples experiences with being a child that dissociated. What are some things you can recall? If anything.

That is the point - I recall very little! My long term memory is ridiculously bad.

Basically the same. Its just an big blur. Dont know if others in our system know more, our communication goes up and down

-- Sat Apr 19, 2014 8:33 am --

bourbon wrote:

__nonreality wrote:I just want to hear other peoples experiences with being a child that dissociated. What are some things you can recall? If anything.

That is the point - I recall very little! My long term memory is ridiculously bad.

Basically the same. Its just an big blur. Dont know if others in our system know more, our communication goes up and down

Well, we're 16 so I guess we might still be considered children? I dunno. Aaron and I first became aware that we were separate people when we are about 12 or 13, and it was a rather frightening experience (at least, for me it was) until we got used to it. As for our childhood, neither of us remember much, jut a few names and key events.

As a child-
I don't know really- I didn't have a lot of clues - just a few. I was extremely quiet and reserved and in my head a lot - I remember being in my room alone and a strange feeling came over me and I was certain I was being watched - now I understand that to be derealization/depersonalization. I also had trouble with emotions. If I started crying at school, a few times (grade school) I couldn't stop. It was like a crying part fronted and I couldn't make them stop- in the 4th grade my teacher called a conference with my parents and said something was wrong with me because I was withdrawn & quiet. I liked that teacher and kids would line up at her desk after school to get hugs. I was super shy and embarrassed but would try to get that hug. I guess we didn't hug or touch much in my family? Don't really remember? That's one of the only teacher's names that I remember. My parents took me out of that school and put me in a private school after the teacher conference. My parents didn't want to know what was wrong with me
Most of my childhood memories are choppy and not in chronological order which makes going back and sifting through the childhood a bit foggy. Most of it as others have shared is a big blur.

What particularly stands out is that I used to on occasion get into conflict with other children at school and then lose the memory of what had happened. My mother would find out through another parent or teacher. I recall one particular incident when I was in 2nd grade, I got into a fight with another child at the end of the school day over some finger puppets which became damaged. My mother, after picking me up from school sent me strait to my room as punishment. I had no idea why I was being punished. It wasn't till much later that evening when I was washing dishes, when it all came back to me with such clarity and I was aware for a brief few moments why I was being punnished. And then it was all gone again -a very odd feeling!

In high school, I almost got expelled for failing to attend a detention after getting into a fight with another girl. My girlfriend told me I had a detention and even went as far as to walk me toward the detention office after school. I was adamant that I had not been in a fight and had no detention.

My childhood and pretty much my whole life has been dotted with incidents where people have told me I've done this and I've done that and I've not been aware of any of it. It has caused to mistrust and grow up paranoid thinking family, friends and others are just out to bleed me for a ride.

I was much more dissociative as a child than I am now. I don't remember ever thinking "oh no, I blacked out!" but I think it might have happened, as well as lost time. I frequently had terrible headaches, and was occasionally told about stuff I didn't remember doing. I also lost a lot of my belongings, and I got in trouble for daydreaming constantly at school.

I also have very fuzzy memories of second grade, and a suspicious blank for a trip my family took at that time, which I realized recently that I'd had amnesia about amnesia for. And even though I don't remember any specific interactions with my headvoices at that age, I remember how familiar they felt when I started hearing them again, so they were probably around since I was a kid, in one way or another.