My T brought up integration today

Do you have any decent/normal/good memories from your childhood? That's what ninchen is kind of like now - my inner child. She doesn't talk to me, but she is a part of me . She is as 'gone' as my past is, but also as real. No longer as real as a real child though (or a flashback vs memory). She used to hold the fear I could not tolerate, but we both became braver; she let go of her fear; we learned from each other.

niva used to hold the anger and lust and rebellion that I didn't have/couldn't acknowledge in myself; we both came to understand why she was so scared (not angry); she learned how to tolerate it; I am learning how to be angry now, not be afraid of doing spontaneous things or having a sexual side.

Cedar's belief system didn't fit into anybody's reality until she [he?] integrated. We've become more whole with the integrations; it has not been a bad thing.

I used to have no feelings just like Aiden until Cedar integrated. but now I'm genuinely actually really happy!!!

I need Aiden and Sonja and Jane, and they need me. But one day that may no longer be the case and some of us will integrate. Or not. Who knows?! If somebody who holds a skill or capacity for a certain emotion or whatever integrates, those qualities will rub off on the rest of you.

ANP is 'apparently normal part' http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic122093.html. A way to classify certain types of alters as opposed to 'Emotional Parts'. There's a lot to read on the subject if you're interested…

Hope I answered your questions!

Hello N-

This is Morgan. Thank you so much for your work in explaining integration to Iain. He is struggling to understand the concept so I thought I'd help out. It is a marvelous gift to have someone who has actually experienced integration to tell us what it is like. It is too easy to dismiss our therapist's ideas since she has no direct experience with being DID or integrating. Also, your examples are very helpful as is the idea that integration can be partial. I am explaining integration to Iain by helping him remember when we went from isolated to regularly co-conscious. That was a dramatic change, and, in the end, a marvelous new life for all of us. We have saved your comments and will re-read them with our therapist.

I'd also like to apologize for Iain's joke about ANP meaning 'neurotic'. He meant no offense and probably doesn't fully understand the word's meaning. He was just trying to make you laugh.

Iain says - I see you Sonja. Thanks for the yellow words. I read every one of them. Hi Jane - Hope you are in a good place. I think about you often. You can write to me if you want.

Thanks,

Morgan + Iain