Threatening Alter

I want to first make it clear that I do not have DID, but I am here in hopes of getting advice for how to best handle a situation with someone who has been diagnosed with DID. I am still learning about the disorder and I sincerely apologize ahead of time if I say something incorrect. I also hope that this is an acceptable channel for seeking advice like this. I'm not sure what else to do.

Making the situation even more complicated is that I met this person online and therefore have no way to physically see or influence what's happening. It's very frustrating, and I feel helpless.

***Trigger Warning - (sexuality/physical abuse)***

The 22-year-old girl (I'm going to call her Gia) that I am talking to has an adult male alter (I believe he is 27, and he is also her gatekeeper) who has begun to threaten bodily harm to her if I don't send him sexually explicit photos of myself. Very few people know that Gia has DID (I think I'm one of five total) but I have learned from her that those people who have met this alter have basically given in to his demands in order to avoid his abuse. This includes having sex with him. Until recently, he and I had gotten along just fine. When I told Gia that we were getting along, she was very surprised. She had warned me before I met him that he was a bully, and that those who know him don't like him. I really don't know how to best handle this situation. The last thing I want is for her to be hurt, but sending photos and sexually explicit messages makes me very uncomfortable and it's not acceptable for me to be bullied into it by his threats.

***End Trigger Warning***

Am I just being selfish? I can't help feeling like I should just give in like the rest of them, since I have no real control over what happens. He knows I care about her and he's using that to get to me.

I understand that it is very difficult to assess the situation since I am not the one with DID and I have limited knowledge of it, but I truly appreciate any input.

Kindrex

Is refusing to submit to extortion ever "selfish"?

kindrex wrote:I want to first make it clear that I do not have DID, but I am here in hopes of getting advice for how to best handle a situation with someone who has been diagnosed with DID. I am still learning about the disorder and I sincerely apologize ahead of time if I say something incorrect. I also hope that this is an acceptable channel for seeking advice like this. I'm not sure what else to do.

Making the situation even more complicated is that I met this person online and therefore have no way to physically see or influence what's happening. It's very frustrating, and I feel helpless.

***Trigger Warning - (sexuality/physical abuse)***

The 22-year-old girl (I'm going to call her Gia) that I am talking to has an adult male alter (I believe he is 27, and he is also her gatekeeper) who has begun to threaten bodily harm to her if I don't send him sexually explicit photos of myself. Very few people know that Gia has DID (I think I'm one of five total) but I have learned from her that those people who have met this alter have basically given in to his demands in order to avoid his abuse. This includes having sex with him. Until recently, he and I had gotten along just fine. When I told Gia that we were getting along, she was very surprised. She had warned me before I met him that he was a bully, and that those who know him don't like him. I really don't know how to best handle this situation. The last thing I want is for her to be hurt, but sending photos and sexually explicit messages makes me very uncomfortable and it's not acceptable for me to be bullied into it by his threats.

***End Trigger Warning***

Am I just being selfish? I can't help feeling like I should just give in like the rest of them, since I have no real control over what happens. He knows I care about her and he's using that to get to me.

I understand that it is very difficult to assess the situation since I am not the one with DID and I have limited knowledge of it, but I truly appreciate any input.

Kindrex

My biggest worry.

If you feel as though she is in immanent harm, I regret to say you may have to let somebody know. If something does happen to her it would be awful. Not something anybody should go through. Your not being selfish, rather doing the right thing by asking. If I were you I woudnt send any sexually explicit material to her for a variety of reasons including that she may get very trigered by it even though she is asking for it. Considering an alter is threatening self harm her system is not to stable.

She may have control over the male alter she might not. If she doesn't it could turn ugly once she starts to self harm. In my opinion I would let somebody know or at least ask her if she can control the urges to self harm. If she cant or you doubt she can get a professional involved. Again I wouldn't send images, if I may she is more forcing you too.