What if an abused child doesn't develop DID?

Sorry for another question, I'm just not able to find answers for this on google, so here goes...

If a child suffers through severe trauma (let's say it requires dissociation to deal with) but doesn't have DID, what exactly happens during the traumatic event? Do they just react normally and then forget what happened? Or do they freeze or quit functioning? If they are unable to deal with the situation, would they automatically develop DID or how would a non-DID defense mechanism work in that situation?

I think it makes sense that DID develops over time, that throughout several abusive situations the mind learns what alters it needs for the best defense. But what if there's only one traumatic event? Would a child even be able to develop DID? And how else would it react to defend themselves. I mean, I get that dissociation means for example, dissociating from the feelings and from what happened, but doesn't that help more with being able to function properly later? What if it's a life or death situation? Would any child who doesn't have DID just be able to function right, thus I guess not be as deeply affected?

I'm very confused about this topic. It would be great if someone could shed some light on it.

And I kept it as a general question on purpose, because I feel like I've already been whining enough on here about whether I personally have DID or not, so I just want to know what happens if an abused child doesn't develop DID.

**** BIG TRIGGER WARNING ****

Obviously I can't speak for everyone. I was severely beaten as child as early as a toddler from my real dad, sexually assaulted multiple times by a sibling, had life long physical, mental and verbal abuse from my mother. Neglect, abandonment .. just a laundry list of stuff.

I never experienced DID but I have suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts, extremely low self esteem and many other mental problems that came from my childhood.

I guess because everyone is different and I'm sure my experiences are no where near horrific as others including my girlfriend who does have DID. I can't imagine surviving the things she went through.

My life long defense mechanism has always been to escape inside myself. I basically create a bubble or shield around me and cut off all emotions and feelings. It allowed me to escape my reality and just be numb to the abuse. Even now at 38 I still find myself doing this in situations I can't handle such as verbally abusive people.

Not sure if this helps but I'm just one person who has experienced childhood abuse and survived without DID.

Startail wrote:my girlfriend who does have DID. I can't imagine surviving the things she went through.

Exactly.

Several different therapists have told me that their clients with DID tend to be more functional and more resilient than other clients who report similar trauma and abuse in childhood. Not all children are able to escape these horrors by dissociating to the extent that we do, and children who don't develop DID are damaged in other ways.

The professional literature on DID is uniform in stating that DID is one of the few effective defenses available to very young children and infants, and it is highly effective too. DID preserves "healthy", "happy" parts of the child personality intact and untouched, so the child generally appears to be undamaged and therefore more valuable. DID becomes a disorder only later in life if we continue to use our severe dissociation instead of learning to use other, more mature, more functional defenses.

I look at my 2 sisters for the answer to that. I'm the youngest, we're each 4 years apart. My oldest sister was abused the most from both mum and dad.....adding to the fact that since she was older she was abused 4 years longer than me.

My middle sister apparently talked about it at the time, she seems normal - married, living with her husband, settled in a job etc. She still struggles to handle stressful situations. My oldest sister really struggles. To me she doesn't live in the real world, she buries herself in a world of her own involving lots of reading books (no tv), dancing, gymnastics, work. Like someone said above, she has low self esteem, has depression and stress all the time, but the most worrying thing to me is that she is so naiive because of her escape from the real world, she doesn't understand some things people say to her, wouldn't be able to protect herself against advances from guys....because she wouldn't know thats what is happening. Sad to say she remembers everything, she keeps talking about it (really not good in front of the parents who used to hurt us). Shes always moody. I feel sorry for her because she remembers it all and can't forgive our parents whereas only some parts remember the bad, others remember the good I have a better relationship with our parents

thank you all for the thorough replies!

debetoile wrote: but the most worrying thing to me is that she is so naiive because of her escape from the real world, she doesn't understand some things people say to her, wouldn't be able to protect herself against advances from guys....because she wouldn't know thats what is happening.

Could you explain a little more what exactly you mean by that? Do you mean she is naive because she is so used to abuse that she sees it as something normal now? Or how do you mean it?


So do children who don't develop DID generally not have amnesia for the event(s), or does that just depend on the child's personal reaction to what happened?

From what I understand from these replies, one defense mechanism if a child doesn't have DID is dissociation on a lower level. Does that happen in all cases where the child didn't develop DID?

Sorry for being so curious, I just don't really know enough about this specific topic.

See Peter Levine's book Trauma Through a Child's Eyes. There are many ways of coping with traumatic experiences. There are a variety of dissociative defenses, there is organic amnesia and dissociative amnesia, there is suppression and repression, denial, there are various psychological adaptations that later in life present as personality disorders, and others. There is also seeking and receiving timely support from good-enough caregivers, that is supportive and healing.

Children and adolescents who experience severe dissociation, who are diagnosed and receive good treatment for trauma and dissociation, generally have a straightforward, rapid, and full recovery. This assumes they are not experiencing ongoing trauma and abuse. If abuse is ongoing, it is thought they are better off not being treated because they need their dissociative defenses.

Im on my phone so didnt get to read though all the replies well,so please forgive me if I repeat maybe what someone else said....I was sexually abused as a small child...and emotionally and verbally abused by my father well into adulthood.I never developed DID,but have many othedr issues I deal with on a daily basis as do my siblings.One sibling seems to have developed a form of DID,and another sibling seemed to distance herself from her true identity,and reinvented a complete new identity some years back.One sibling seemed to have no identity,and seemed to be whoever fit the moment..I suspect DID in her,as she would seem to be different people,at different times.Im not close with her though so not sure,as she became very abusive after going through puberty,and has borderline,bipolar,narcissstic,and histrionic traits.I didnt deal with my abuse well..became an empath,which further fueled people to abuse me and take advantage of me more,causing great saddness,self medicating,eating disorders,and basically low self esteem which I havent amounted to a whole hell of alot in life.I think each child finds what works for them personally for survival in abuse cases.You find out what works for you early as a way to deal with your abuse.Some find psychological outlets..some verbalize and abuse others/themselves..some internalize and create different personalities who are more capable of dealing with the horrendous situations...I guess we can speculate,but who really knows.

-- Thu Mar 20, 2014 3:04 pm --

Im on my phone so didnt get to read though all the replies well,so please forgive me if I repeat maybe what someone else said....I was sexually abused as a small child...and emotionally and verbally abused by my father well into adulthood.I never developed DID,but have many othedr issues I deal with on a daily basis as do my siblings.One sibling seems to have developed a form of DID,and another sibling seemed to distance herself from her true identity,and reinvented a complete new identity some years back.One sibling seemed to have no identity,and seemed to be whoever fit the moment..I suspect DID in her,as she would seem to be different people,at different times.Im not close with her though so not sure,as she became very abusive after going through puberty,and has borderline,bipolar,narcissstic,and histrionic traits.I didnt deal with my abuse well..became an empath,which further fueled people to abuse me and take advantage of me more,causing great saddness,self medicating,eating disorders,and basically low self esteem which I havent amounted to a whole hell of alot in life.I think each child finds what works for them personally for survival in abuse cases.You find out what works for you early as a way to deal with your abuse.Some find psychological outlets..some verbalize and abuse others/themselves..some internalize and create different personalities who are more capable of dealing with the horrendous situations...I guess we can speculate,but who really knows.

confused_girly wrote:Sorry for another question, I'm just not able to find answers for this on google, so here goes...

If a child suffers through severe trauma (let's say it requires dissociation to deal with) but doesn't have DID, what exactly happens during the traumatic event? Do they just react normally and then forget what happened? Or do they freeze or quit functioning? If they are unable to deal with the situation, would they automatically develop DID or how would a non-DID defense mechanism work in that situation?

I think it makes sense that DID develops over time, that throughout several abusive situations the mind learns what alters it needs for the best defense. But what if there's only one traumatic event? Would a child even be able to develop DID? And how else would it react to defend themselves. I mean, I get that dissociation means for example, dissociating from the feelings and from what happened, but doesn't that help more with being able to function properly later? What if it's a life or death situation? Would any child who doesn't have DID just be able to function right, thus I guess not be as deeply affected?

I'm very confused about this topic. It would be great if someone could shed some light on it.

And I kept it as a general question on purpose, because I feel like I've already been whining enough on here about whether I personally have DID or not, so I just want to know what happens if an abused child doesn't develop DID.

Truth is I dont know. However I have heard the theory some can "dissociate" better than others, but its never been fully proven. So in theory I guess you can have a person who doesn't dissociate very well or at all. If thats actually is the case or possible I dont know. My theory is everyone can and will dissociate under abuse but in different ways. However, theoretically, I guess those who cant dissociate well under trauma develop classical schizophrenia or autism. Which I have always wondered about classical schizophrenia and autism that might have a trauma etiology. Alice Miller actually theorized that many autistic kids were victims of abuse.

I have theorized that that with some children under severe stress their brain just floods itself with intense giddiness/ artificial laughter. Creating an emotional high that both numbs and distracts from the reality going on. One survival mechanism I constantly read about thats similar to dissociation is intense fantasy or going into intense fantasy worlds similar to what a child does when playing but under a stressful condition.

Truth is I can only guess, there is really no way to prove it but it is one of the many things I wonder about when it comes to mental difficulties.

Una+ wrote:See Peter Levine's book Trauma Through a Child's Eyes. There are many ways of coping with traumatic experiences. There are a variety of dissociative defenses, there is organic amnesia and dissociative amnesia, there is suppression and repression, denial, there are various psychological adaptations that later in life present as personality disorders, and others. There is also seeking and receiving timely support from good-enough caregivers, that is supportive and healing.

Children and adolescents who experience severe dissociation, who are diagnosed and receive good treatment for trauma and dissociation, generally have a straightforward, rapid, and full recovery. This assumes they are not experiencing ongoing trauma and abuse. If abuse is ongoing, it is thought they are better off not being treated because they need their dissociative defenses.

thanks so much for the book suggestion. I checked it out and it seems very interesting. I'm putting it on my wish list, I think that it could help me a lot understanding different trauma reactions especially in young children.


Thanks for the many replies, guys, you have really given me a lot to think about.