reasons for dissociating TW

hi everyone

i'm puzzled by being diagnozed with dissociative amnesia, and some other dissociative symptoms. Isn't the whole idea with dissociation to forget traumatic and negative events? i know i don't remember much of my childhood(just bits here and there), and i forget alot on a daily basis, but how come i can almost just remember negative episodes from my past? i remember myself as a bad kid, a difficult kid, but i don't understand why i can't remember much of the positive stuff. i also remember being scared very often, but can't remember why, starting to even doubt i was scared. i think i remember most of the traumas that was the worst too(in pieces), but i'm not bothered by it, i'm just not sure why i get a dissociative diagnosis when it's supposed to hide traumas and negativity..?

my SO also says that i seem to remember things if someone says something "negative" about me, but if it's something positive i forget, i know i have problems with paranoia, if someone says something positive i'm sure they already have a plan to either kill, rape me or both. or they have some other hidden agenda :S

thanks for reading

Hi riddle,

I remember many horrible things from my childhood as well. Things I should have dissociated from. I also have many blanks. Mostly blanks. I'm not sure why/how this happens. It often has me saying "Well, if I can remember this, the stuff I don't remember must be REALLY horrible". I know it is a scary thought, but we still have to fill in the blanks.

As for not being bothered by the bad things emotionally, that is a form of dissociation too. You have dissociated yourself from the feelings. And the not remembering parts is dissociation as well.

You probably wasn't as difficult a child as you think either. We were raised to think we were.

And yes, if people do/say something nice, they MUST have an ulterior motive. Right? I know logically that this isn't true, but I still feel that way. They want something from me.

Sorry I can't answer your questions, just know that this IS dossociation and normal for us.

I for the most part dissociated from traumatic events in my past, but there are some things I should have dissociated from that I didn't. But most of my life right now is a complete blank, and honestly that never bothered me until I was diagnoised. I have no clue as to why/how this happened, but I'm sure dissociating is a very complicated process.

But maybe you didn't dissociate because you're mind thought you could handle it on your own. But Snuff is right the parts you don't remember counts as dissociating too.

I can understand that you don't trust people when they being nice to you because they could want something. Really it could just depend on the person.

thank you for replying,


snuffthroostr

i sometimes think that too, since i remember some of the trauma, i wonder if there's something worse, for me it could be, and not be.
i've been told things from when i was a baby, but i guess babies aren't able to dissociate.
the paranoia is stressful as well, sometimes i'm convinced people are actually going to kill me, even my SO, other times, there's no paranoia at all.




endlesslyinheaven

you could be right, that i didn't dissociate the traumas i remember because my mind tolerated it.
what i don't get is, why does this follow me in every day life....it leaves me puzzled and makes my life difficult, i'm trying to hide the memorygap issue at work, they probably are wondering already, a part of my mind does work related issues which i have no memory of doing, and this just complicates everything. my private life is a circus of its own, but at work you're supposed to act professional...



i'm just wondering now if dissociate amnesia might not be right for me, since it's supposed to cover up traumas, but my amnesia goes for everyday events as well as my past which has lots of blanks. strange thing is i always thought i had a good memory, but now i find out i even delete traces after myself without me knowing about it, i find the evidence through other people, but i would never know about it if it weren't for my friends/family.