Guilt

Just wondering what are people's thoughts about guilt and DID? One of our alters is experiencing a lot of guilt from past situations. Any comments, advice, thoughts?

Let me start by saying that I have no dx. Part of the human condition is feeling guilt. It is normal for anyone to feel guilty over situations that we may have had little control over. It may help to talk to your alter about why they are feeling the guilt and to try to help them get through the feelings.

I am a support person of a man with DID. Guilt seemed to dominate his life at times.

My best advice for guilt, and I think it could help you...is to talk to the alter, and remember the situation that you are feeling the guilt about as best as possible. Remember, that during the incident, you made a choice for a reason. Either something wasn't right, or it was hurting you, or it was for the best. Try to understand why you made the decision and that it was the best you could do at the time.

All of us feel guilt at certain times, and we can grow from it and learn from it.

I would like to comment as an alter who experiences a lot of guilt. It is extremely hard to deal with and some days are worse than others. But no matter how bad the days get all the guilt I feel is completely justified. Do I feel bad about some of the stuff I've done? Yes, but everything I did was to ensure the survival of my Host. So at the end of the day I never allow my guilt to consume me.

Hi theoldlady,

I've given some thought to your post for days. Guilt and DID... Humm...

I think it depends guilt about what.

If it's guilt about something she/he did wrong to others. Humm... I'd say it's ok to speak about it, and try to heal what's been broken with others. I've felt guilt about things I know I've done wrong. When I know it, I try to apologize soon so that no hard feelings are between me and the ones I've done wrong to. And I try to change.

If this guilt is for something that was done to him/her (your alter) humm... That's is a no, no. Sometimes it's difficult for a child, for example, to understand that nothing that was done to him/her was his fault. So he/she feels guilty about it. But in that case, he/she is not guilty at all, so in that case I would try to talk about the specific event, and show him/her had nothing to be blame for.

And guilt within the system... hum... that's a tough one. Sometimes some parts feel guilty about only what they've done, not what other alters have done. And I kind of agree with that, though literature about DID and therapist say that they whole system should be responsible for everyone's actions. So I debate myself.

Beyond everything, I think guilt is something that need to be let go. It's there for a reason, I know. And if there is something in my power to change things, and make things better, I would. But sometimes there is not much that can be done. Sometimes people are gonne, and we can't say we are sorry, or we can give them more time, or be more present for them. At those moment's I try to forgive myself. Try to think that I did the best I could with everything I had. And If I didn't I try to change to the ones around me, like from now on, I'll be better in this sense. The past... I cannot change, and I have to let it go, otherwise it would torture my soul.

I wish she can let goof her guilt. And if she feels she can do something about it, then I would cheer her up to do it. I sure hope she doesn't feel guilt for things that were done to her, 'coz none of what happened was her fault.

Sea