Mom has DID, abuses prescriptions

Hi guys. I'll try to keep this short but I need some help badly

*trigger warning*

I'm 25 and my mom is 55. About 15 years ago she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, which was really tough on everybody and she retired from her dream job. She takes a lot of medication for her pain, including methadone.

At age 13, I started seeing a psychologist to talk about all the stress of living with a single mother who has Multiple Sclerosis. Apparently, she had signed some waiver and my psychologist told me she also had DID. I spent 5 sessions talking through DID before I approached my mom about it, and she stopped taking me to that therapist and never brought it up again.

Anyway, one or more of her personalities love to abuse her methadone she takes for nerve pain. She doesn't Remember painful incidents like when I came home from school and had to break in the door, to find her naked and drugged up, having missed her DUI trial.

Fast forward to now, I moved back to my hometown for a job and last week I took off to help her out after a foot surgery. The day before the operation she got all rude and ungrateful for my help and we got into a huge fight over it, remember she has never admitted to having DID to me, but I know she has it - it had also been years since I even thought about it.

So after the surgery she was back to her normal self, nice and grateful for everything I was doing. On the forth day however, she turned into some personality that is so stupid, she has something like a zombie personality that also loves to abuse her pain killers. Every time she morphs into the zombie she says words but nothin adds up like "I just... Wanna... Look at the pickles to see the... Mirror in my Mazda." She also started walking around the house on her stitched up leg. Even after forcefully detaining her, she would stand up again and walk around aimlessly.

I can't deal with her personalities anymore, so today I just confronted her about it while she was in a lucid personality. She finally admitted she might have DID but she acts like she has no idea she has been diagnosed.

Help.

All you can do is gently point out to her that maybe seeing a psychologist might help her? At least to deal with issues if she can admit to herself that she's struggling ATM? I'm not sure what else to suggest other than to look out for yourself by taking some time off from looking after her when u need a break and gain some support from friends/people who may understand or sympathise with your situation ? I hope this helps. If your religious, you could pray ?

Shklorg wrote:She finally admitted she might have DID but she acts like she has no idea she has been diagnosed.

That could very well be true. It is quite possible that the part you spoke to did not participate in getting diagnosed. That part could also have participated but now have dissociative amnesia for the whole experience. Your situation is a familiar one to many of us. You are not alone!

What you are describing is behavior that endangers her. This calls for more than just reasoning with her lucid parts. Help is available! One way to get help is to contact your community mental health services. They are free, confidential services. If you are in the United States, look in the local phone book (yellow pages or community pages in the front of the book), or call the nearest chapter of NAMI. If there is any violent behavior or any injury, call 911 and state the emergency and let the professionals deal with it.

DID is a result of trauma early in life; trauma survivors who do not get the help they need are prone to have problems with substance abuse. The substance abuse, not the DID, is the primary issue here but treatment needs to take into account the extra complication of DID.

I hope this helps. Please let us know how you get on.

Thank you for your responses, it does help and it's good to know that at the very least I am not the crazy one. It's because for so long, she has made me feel like I'm the one inventing her personalities, because her lucid self(-ves) do(es) have not really entertained the notion that she could have DID.

Una+ wrote:DID is a result of trauma early in life; trauma survivors who do not get the help they need are prone to have problems with substance abuse.

Una+, I have never told anybody this but she swears to have been ritualistically married to the Devil (or something) at her preschool. I never paid much attention to it, and I thought she was inventing things.

She has a really really weird way of processing traumatic events.

She also was the victim of rape while I was in college and she was like 45. Every time I would visit she would talk about it nonstop, like it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Every time I'd take her out in public, she'd stop busboys and waitresses whom she'd never met and tell them extensively about her rapist.

I don't know how to broach the topic, but her "zombie" personality disturbs me the most. She gets this look in her eyes like there's no brain functioning behind them. She doesn't make any sense, and staggers around the house like she's got no clue what she's doing. The zombie is the one that has come out the most since I've been caring for her after her surgery.

While I was out with some friends on Saturday, she rearranged all the contents of the refrigerator, spilled flour and chocolate syrup all over the counters and put the cast iron skillets into the dishwasher, and rusted them up.

She really just ruins everything and walks around hobbling like a zombie from TV. No matter how loud I shout or bang things around she can't snap out of it, and it's just terrifying. I wind up saying things like "I wish you would just die and quit putting me through this", because until yesterday I hadn't thought of DID in nearly a decade.

Do you have any advice on how to deal with that zombie alter?

As for the other, I've got my cousin, a drug councilor going over this evening to talk to her about the drug abuse issues.

Honey, your mom needs professional help ASAP, and you are in a really good position right now to get her that help. Call the surgeon's office or the hospital where she had surgery and talk to their post surgery triage nurse. Your goal is not to get any information about her medical care from them. Your goal is to get them to treat her as a patient who is having a very severe complication of her surgery and needs urgent care. You need instructions for how to get her to the hospital. Transportation in an ambulance may be the safest way, so don't be surprised if they want you to call 911. That will bring the emergency medical service to her home. They have training and experience in safely transporting someone who is in a disturbed and agitated state. Please don't try to do this by yourself. She is not her normal self and her behavior is deranged. She needs to be seen ASAP by medical doctors, and she may need to be admitted to a hospital. Ask them for help.

Thanks for the advice, but they aren't going to do anything.

I tried calling the local drug and alcohol abuse treatment center and they said I have to get her doctor to sign off on it, they won't commit someone who's recovering from surgery. The mental hospital said the same thing.

The doctor has no idea what I'm talking about because he's an orthopedic surgeon, who does surgery on bones. He said that it's normal for people to be out of it after surgery.

This is frustrating.

Safe hugs if wanted, that sounds really frustrating, I hope you find a good solution soon

I just wanted to update on the situation.

After more than a week of constantly pressuring her, by repeating more than 100 times, "I don't think the way you're acting is normal, it's clearly either a drug or a psychiatric problem. Can you tell me which you think it is?"

She finally came forward and told me that she "might have been diagnosed with DID".

This is a huge step forward, after hours of talking with her about it, we came to the conclusion that she doesn't actually have a drug problem per se, she just takes pain killers with whichever personality she is switched into.

So when she switches, she can overmedicate.

Anyways, we are devising a system where she can write down her doses so it won't happen again.

I've also got a question, maybe this deserves its own new topic, but -- Has anybody noticed that being more open and honest about DID can lead to fewer personality switches? Since my mom admitted to her disorder last week, she hasn't switched even one time.

Hi Shklorg,

I'm so glad to read that things are a better.

Her acknowledging she might have been diagnosed with DID, is a huge step forward; and devising a system so she won't over dose is an awesome idea!

Shklorg wrote:I've also got a question, maybe this deserves its own new topic, but -- Has anybody noticed that being more open and honest about DID can lead to fewer personality switches? Since my mom admitted to her disorder last week, she hasn't switched even one time.

Humm... Haven't thought about it deeply. It could be true since DID is a coping mechanism and maybe talking it openly could help with coping? Great topic, will give it a thought and come back on it later.

I'm really glad your mom is better, and thus that you're feeling better.

Sending you my best.

Sea