Alters permitting others to come out

I have an interesting question...what is your experience in "permitting" other alters to come out..

In my case, my SO who has DID has visited me; his time with me seems very limited until he switches back to the host currently in control. He had what I think is a host change several months ago. It's like he's being allowed...visitation, for lack of better words.

Is this possible? How is the alter getting time out, by asking permission?

It is not only possible but common. It is called time sharing. In some systems the alters choose to share time in the body according to a schedule or negotiation or some other arrangement.

I couldn't live like that, which is one reason why my system is intent on reaching full integration.

Can they do this "time sharing" even if they are not in therapy? I mean...doesn't therapy teach them to share time, make up contracts...or would a system do this anyway without being fully aware?

We didn't learn it in therapy. It's just something we have to do or none of us would be able to do anything at all.

Thank you...I thought maybe it was like that. There has to be some type of order. It seems he always contacts me the same days...

-- Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:41 pm --

Although I have to add...sometimes it not the same one who calls. And sometimes when they call, I can hear one relinquish control to the other...or that may be my imagination (?)

Patience wrote:It seems he always contacts me the same days...

Lots of non-DID people do that. It depends on their work schedule, what night their favorite program is on TV, etc.

Patience wrote:I can hear one relinquish control to the other...or that may be my imagination (?)

It certainly is possible. Talking to a certain other multiple on the phone I can hear the change when a switch occurs, and this is confirmed when the new alter gives their name.

Of course, you are correct; I do certain things on certain days too, good point.

When I answer the phone, I can tell most times it's one who doesn't really want to talk to me, and then the one who does comes on. Nine times out of ten. Sometimes the alter who doesn't really want to talk to me WILL talk to me. And he'll want to see me, yet sounds angry about it. I am assuming, and only assuming, that this could be a blend.

I always relate to whomever is talking to me, but sometimes don't understand it truly. After all these years, sometimes it's the little basic things I don't get. For example, in most systems is it usually the same group, or groups, of alters that cycle around?

Or do new alters take over for certain parts of the body's life, and not cycle?

In other words, do they cycle? Or just keep evolving? It probably depends on the system...

Hey Patience,

Yes, it's possible for them to arrange schedules even if they are not going to therapy. That's the case of the person I was seeing. They made arrangements in a way to organize themselves.

Patience wrote:...[I]n most systems is it usually the same group, or groups, of alters that cycle around?

Or do new alters take over for certain parts of the body's life, and not cycle?

In other words, do they cycle? Or just keep evolving? It probably depends on the system...

Yeah, I think it depends on the system, in my guy's case, a new alter started taking over some of the things the former host would do. So teaching classes, which would normally be done by the former host, was now done by the new one.

Hope it helps clarify things.

Sea