My boyfriend and his alter

Hi everyone, I'm a 23 year old girl. I'm still not sure if I have DID, but I suffer from hysteria and manic depressive syndrome, and I have my own alters. However, the subject is my boyfriend: we've been together since July, and I know about him having DID from August/September. Living a relationship with him is sometimes stressing and difficult, expecially because we both have mental issues. But we spent nice months together.
Now, the actual problem is one of his alters. I've always liked this alter, since the beginning; he is the most present of them all, the strongest, I think. My boyfriend is usually very gentle, with a lot of self-esteem issues, with a certain dislike for stuff like art and philosophy (which I love very much, being an art student myself and studying psichology and philosophy as a hobby); his alter, on the other hand, is this victorian-like dandy, a kind of sick artist who can talk about psichology and human mind for hours, and I always love talking with him. Plus, he claims to be a vampire.
I'm attracted to this alter. I developed this attraction more and more, and now I'm in love with him. After weeks of suffering, I have finally confessed my boyfriend I'm in love with his alter, and not with him. I'm still very confused, because I really like my boyfriend, but I feel like I love a different person, now. His alter isn't in love with me, though, but he said he likes me, and he likes having sex with me.
I don't know what to do. I feel horrible. My boyfriend feels horrible, jealouse of his alter, becuse this alter is everything he wants to be, but who isn't. I tried to say that they are part of the same personality, that his alter is a part of him, but he doesn't seem to accept it, and I still feel refused from the one I'm in love with.
I feel sorry for my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I've always seen them both as part of the same person, so being in love with both of them never sounded wrong to me. But I think my boyfriend is confused... I think his self esteem issues are not helping him.
What could I do? We are still together. We talked, and talked, and talked, and we came to the conclusion that my 'crush' for his alter will go away, but now I'm developing a sort of hate for this alter, and I feel like I'm hating a part of my boyfriend. His alter is very important to him. He's like his best friend.
I found this forum, and I hoped I could find some help... I feel really sick, and I was already not feeling right at all; plus, I suffer from insomnia, and I already have to take pills to relax during the day and sleep during the night, and right now, with this problem, I'm not sleeping well, and my pills are helping me less. I'm waiting for my psychiatrist to come back (she is in a mission in Africa) for this, but right now I wish there wasn't this new problem... I feel like my mind is screaming for help, and I feel like I want to tear off my own skin from my body.
Sorry for the outburst, but I really need support.
Thank you to everybody.

That definitely sounds like a very confusing situation to be in. You're only 23? Sounds like you both have a lot of sorting out to do. I'd never say that you should or shouldn't be with someone, but it sounds like you both are finding a lot of ways to fight your identities and push each other away instead of finding ways to work together. You use such strong words like "hate" after "in love". Those are usually good indicators that something isn't working and balancing right (going back and forth on such extremes). I'm glad you have a psychiatrist to help you in this process. Good luck It's a stubble! Relationships are hard enough and add in the ups and downs of a couple or more disorders, boundary issues, trauma. Sometimes it helps the most to sort this out on our own and then pursue a relationship. Especially when you are so young and have the opportunity to do that first before pursuing a healthy partner.