Help. I'm not sure if he's telling the truth.

So I was dating this guy (let's call him Rick) and we recently broke up. Now to be honest I'm too terrified to break up with people because of anxiety and stuff, so I had Nielle do it for me. Now that wasn't the best idea, because she can be a bit of a b!*ch.

Anyways, she broke up with him quite harshly so I went back later and explained to him more nicely (via text) that I just couldn't date anyone right now. I needed someone more compatible and like me. Someone who I could connect with. Someone who was "just as f'ed up as I was".

He wouldn't leave me alone about it, so I finally told him I had DID. After a few moments he said he had DID as well and that if I broke up with him it would cause him to split even more and create another alter.

Now I think he is probably lying, because earlier he said he'd do anything to make me stay with him and then I told him I wanted someone like me. So, I think he's probably lying to seem more like me. (Also Nielle points out that if he is so fragile that a breakup with a girl he'd been dating less than 2 weeks caused him that much trauma he probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.)

So do you think he's lying to get me to stay with him? Even if he is telling the truth I'm not getting back together with him because he almost triggered me. (He wouldn't stop kissing me and it started to give me flashbacks and make me cry so Nielle came out and punched him.) But if he is telling the truth I do want to help him out a bit and recommend sites for him and good therapists.

Sorry for the long story, but I just wrote down any info I thought would be helpful. Long story short: Is my ex lying about having DID, because he wants to "impress" me?

This guy has repeatedly violated your boundaries. It does not matter in the least if what he says is true. What matters is that he has disrespected your wishes multiple times, and he is an obsessive creeper. Please stop talking to him. Please do not respond to any further contacts from him. In particular, do not give him links to any DID resources; that just gives him information he can use to stalk you.

If this guy has any kind of problem and wants help for it, he can get it for himself.

hi there


This sounds like a totally stressful thing to be going through and something all of you did not need.

This 'Rick' did not listen to you. You said you could not date any one right now. you needed some one as messed up as you. Which is basic you saying you dont want to be with him because you have enough on your plate. He pushes and pushes you and you tell him about DID. What kind of person, who cares about another person dose that? Id he cared he would have understood and wanted to of been there for you as a friend. Friends think of you first, them second. All he is thinking of is him.


Just from reading your posts , you are starting ajourney that needs so much of 'you time' and having some1 in your life that takes that away from you and complicates things is not good.

The fact you did not feel comfortable telling him you didnt want to be with him any more said to us that you are unable to communcate with him , you dont feel comfortable talking with him or handling some1's emotions maybe? anyway.... forget my amiture psycology this all smells like a complicated Eastenders plot (if your not from uk you might not get that reference).

You are the most important person right now. Focus on you. If he is truely into you then he will wait as long as it takes and back off.

Dont play his game. Dont try and figure it out, because people who play games are more practiced at it and you'll never figure it out!

HUGE CALMING VIBESSSSS....


@@@@@@@@ TRIGGER @@@@@@@@@@@

cant ######6 believe he wouldnt stop kissing you?!?!?! dont even go near the guy!!!!! what?!?! the ###$?! no one, has the right to do that to any one. Respect your self and get away from him. He is manipulate you.
T.C -

@@@@@@@@@trigger over@@@@@@@@@

Even if he was telling the truth, as Una and Riverside have already said, he has disrespected your boundaries, and you. Having DID wouldn't justify this behaviour. Don't accept it, either way.

Thank you all for your responses. You are right. He isn't good for me and I just need to stay away from him and tell him to f*** off.

The sucky thing is I go to school with him and we have ad room (It's like this announcement class period that lasts 15 minutes or so) and another class together so I see him everyday. Plus our last names are close together so whenever we have anything that's organized by last name I'm right next to him.

hi there,

Your obviously have your head screwed on the right way.

Just do what you have all ready done. Be the grown up in the situation and take the high road.
Just get on with things as a friend. Clean slate. If he cant handle it keep as much distance as possible.

BTW-
As a teacher, i would say in the class that you may have to work with him. If things go down hill . Seek the teacher out that holds the class. Tell him or her that the man boy is being aproblem and request tht he or she form groups in a way other than name order. Make sure the teacher knows your psycological status. You shouldnt have to put up with any $#%^!!!

river

Thanks! I'll make sure to do that. Thank you all so much for your advice. Hopefully he will leave us alone...