Multiples in a multiple group?

Here is a question from Mal [he posted it on tumblr - I thought I'd try you guys instead ]

"So it appears I have to share my body even in our head space.

It’s looking like there is a second guy, who looks just like me and turns up when I am gone. Who, when questioned, denies he is me and says he is a shadow. Says he goes by another name.

Sometimes the stuff that makes up his past feels almost as if it were my history but then we feel more separate again.. In any case I am finding this possibility.. Likelihood rather hard to swallow. I’ve never felt ownership of the physical Body though we share fairly, but I always thought and think of this internal form as MINE.

Anyone who switches even on the inside or ever suspected they did got advice or a personal story to tell?

I’d much appreciate it. "


So what's up? I understand that multiples in multiple groups are pretty normal but is it as clear cut as sharing a body even on the inside for you?
Le doh.

Happy new year to you all!
Odessa

There's a teen part named Kat and she has sub-parts. So even though she can be different sub-parts, she looks the same. I don't know if that's the same or not.

None of us identify this body as being anything more than a vessel, but certain sub-parts feel completely wrong or foreign to me.

AltCtrlDel wrote:There's a teen part named Kat and she has sub-parts. So even though she can be different sub-parts, she looks the same. I don't know if that's the same or not.

None of us identify this body as being anything more than a vessel, but certain sub-parts feel completely wrong or foreign to me.

Thanks for sharing

I guess it just seemed odd to us that we'd find the same thing we are all dealing with together mirrored Inside our head. Or inside Mal's head anyway. The thought is taking some getting used to for our Mal who hasn't been aware he is sharing inside as well and is still not really sure about it himself (sure looks like it though from where I stand).

I guess for the rest of us it's a taste of the other side. Living with someone multiple, at least inside our head. Feels like a joke: "The voice inside my head has DID"

Hey.
It is the horses mouth: Mal.

I was just wondering if there is any kind of logical reason this happens? The whole sub-split thing?
Because it just seems pretty pointless from where I am standing.

And I guess my other question is: Has anybody who has had to share a body inside gone ahead and purposely "created" an extra body for themselves?
Any reason trying for this would be a bad idea? (no idea if it would work for us, but our internal world is pretty pliable).

thanks,
Mal

Some parts, body image just seems irrelevant. Kat's sub-part, The Unending, would just be a dark void if Kat didn't embody it.

Also, my physical body doesn't change into another body when I switch. So we just adapt or detach from it.

You might give mental shapeshifting a try if you really need to look different on the inside to reflect different parts. Night takes a human form, a wolf form, and some in between states.

I guess I am being selfish. I'd just like to have a life of my own one way or the other.
The whole sharing thing gets old when there is no respite even in your fantasy life.

I see what you're saying though. I'll try and wrap my thick head around it.
Have a great weekend
Mal

Serev has sub-parts, and I'm only just beginning to understand them. I've come to notice that she interacts differently with different people and "splits" when fronting and remaining in the headspace. For a while I was confused if it was Donovan or someone else in my head. Because she acts completely different around my girlfriend than she does around my friends, and other situations she can be completely emotionally removed.

I think figuring out her is probably the next step, though donovan is the one who's having issues now with what's "reality" and what's "headspace". Serev just has a different alter in the headspace realm than she does in reality. And even in reality she switches. She can be very verbally aggressive at times which leads me to confuse her with donovan. But she's a lot more careful with her words and only attacks generalizations and ideologies, while donovan blames individuals on things.

It's an interesting thing I've been trying to sort out. Half of me doesnt want to press further, while the other half of me is dying of curiosity.

And of course serev just pushes me aside and I have to watch from a distance.
I believe her switching is a compounded coping mechanism for her dealing with the outside world at the same time as the headspace world. Whenever she's out, she typically dissociates from anything emotional and even lies about how things are going. The real world and the headspace world are equally stressful and most of her modus operandi is "act like other people, blend in, so they wont notice you. you're normal." When in the headspace she can be very aggressive and violent (not with people though, but she's smashed a good deal of things in the headspace). It's gotten loads better now that everyone else is "out" and are accountable for their own actions. ie; donovan isnt saying mean stuff online and then letting X take the blame. X goes and drags him up to the front and makes him apologize. Because ding-dong-ditch is a horrible thing to drop on people, emotionally. Serev basically coped by retreating to the background or not responding to things in the real world. Appearing very emotionally numb while screaming on the inside.

"And I guess my other question is: Has anybody who has had to share a body inside gone ahead and purposely "created" an extra body for themselves?"

oh Quinn did this, Basically it got to the point where he became aware of the switching (at the time he was named Draco) and Draco called Quinn the "human he was posessing" because at the time alters were easier to explain as "demons" since my family was really religious (also I wanted to sound hardcore metal). So, Quinn essentially looked like a male version of myself and draco was a dragon/dog creature. They eventually split into their own entities though, and Quinn missed being an animal so he chose to take the form of an anthropomorphic dog.

Thanks zrcalo
Personal accountability is a biggie around here at the minute. At least my incursions only extend to occasionally wearing Odessa's glasses to avoid announcing myself by putting my own on The kids are finding it a bit harder now that they have to apologise to the husband themselves when they act out. Actually he is still waiting for Idris to come forward regarding a recent.. tantrum. We are trying to give him time, but there are reminders for him in all our diaries.

I guess we better get the hang of the first layer of accountability before I start thinking of encouraging similar practices inside my own head. Or I guess the other one would do that, it sounds like he has a cooler head. But depressive as hell it sounds like. At least my girlfriend (the part who's glasses I hide behind in the real world) seems to know all of me. She just didn't catch on until recently that I didn't. Tiring thought but ok.

I guess I've had an awareness that I operate on variable level of numbness/dissociation at different times and that I feel less myself when I am very detached, but a bunch of us do the same and still answer to their own names no matter their state of mind.

When someone starts every time they slip to the Front by arguing the toss with the Others about how he is not you, you can't very well just ignore it. Though I seem to have made a good go at it :S

TRIGGER RELIGION/POSSESSION:
I have a history as a demon as well by the way When we were little I thought I was the antichrist and our Idris thought himself the devil Religion has a lot to answer for. Well, I got over that too. I wonder if there is a causality there: Demon/possession - I guess if you're possessed or possessing you're never just one.
//TRIGGER

Thanks for all the food for thought.
Mal

I PM'ed you as we weren't comfortable posting on the open forum about this