Help me PLEASE!!

Okay, long story short I guess.

My partner and I have been in love for a long time, ridiculously so. She has Dis-associative Identity Disorder and has been switching into alters through the course of our relationship.

She was so very much in love with me until a few days ago when she woke up and decided to break up with me. (I mean, like, nobody else in the world mattered to her, she was talking about how we were going to grow old together and kissing my toes and belly type thing)

Now, normally I would accept this.

But she's so cold and so unlike herself. She's acting irrationally, saying she's going to join the airforce and that I'm responsible for holding her back in life. I am a transgender man and she's always loved that but when she woke up she told me all she wants is a penis inside of her and that I'll never be enough. She's cold and snappy, calculating and mean.

But at night, when I ask to sleep beside her (currently still living with her it's been a week) she gladly accepts cuddles and a few nights ago told me she loved me in her sleep.

WHAT THE ###$ IS HAPPENING?

The personality change is TOO DRASTIC. She went to Cali a couple of weeks ago, the place where she was molested and her grandpa died a few days ago. All she could say was "My grandpa died "

When she found out her grandpa had cancer she cried for days, and now he's dead and all she can say is "The dead don't care if you cry."

This is NOT my little happy wubble, something is so wrong.

I suspected the "Blunted Affect" theory because of her PTSD and DID, but I dunno! She insists this is her and that nothing is wrong but she's literally saying and doing things she would never even imagine in a million years!

She's not taking any meds or getting any help and I dunno what to do, we're so ######6 in love and I want her back damnit. Please help me I'm so desperate! Her moods keeps shifting, she gets angry randomly and then super textbook emotionless the next!

Please help. Please bring my little wubble back to me. We were planning on kids and marriage, and suddenly she hates me.

Edit: Don't tell me to just leave her. We have been so devoted to each other for so long and I WON'T leave her. I've been with her through her alters tormenting me physically and emotionally and I can handle this I just need to know HOW.

Hi there

I moved you post over to the DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) section as I think your post may have more and better replies there, from people who have that disorder or are SO's themselves

Lifelongthing
(Moderator)

I hope somebody can help I really need it, I'm so worried

If you know she has DID how is this a huge shocker...? If you haven't seen this side of her, it might be a new alter. Give her time and she'll switch back. Patience and understanding man, patience and understanding.

Not all alters love the SO. We had this with our relationship too. When dating a multiple, you gain friends, children, lovers, enemies and sometimes even pets Give her time and space. -Night

OH dear. I hope they will switch back soon and not mess any big things up before they do. We went through something very similar. I'm sorry to say that nothing seemed to help bring me back except for our own inner conflicts over the thing that was happening, eventually. Then after I was back, we continued to be confused over this thing for 6 months. Damn always those holiday seasons they mess so much stuff up for people like us and their loved ones. Chances are that this might be an opportunity to grow though, as it may provide insight into herself, afterwards. I'm sorry this is happening.

Might be a psychotic episode. Just might be. Can she see a p-doc?

I feel for you Tanaka. I am a supporter of someone who has DID and she is also/was my partner. I say also/was because she decided to just up and move nine hours away one day. However, she still loves me and wants to be in a relationship and has a hard time understanding why our relationship can't still work?!!!! Needless to say I am devastated and hurt emotionally and physically. I am being treated for depression now because of all this. I do still love her and see her though. sigh!!!!!

When being with a multiple, you never know day to day who you will be with. It is a risk we take. Hopefully, you will be able to learn this new alter, if it is a new alter, and work things out. You can become close with all the alters. Sometimes, however, there is one or more that won't like you. In my case, the protector is the one that didn't like me in the beginning, and told me so, but now loves me and wants to marry me. So see, it might work out for you.

I admire you for standing by her. Thinking about you and hoping for a good outcome.

She says it still feels like her, she has all of her memories and seems extremely conflicted. This is not my Wubble and I know this.

She is very cold, emotionless, and logical.

She's eating less than the normal amount and claiming it's healthy.

When before she was the biggest happiest eater around even though she's underweight

I want to know because she truly believes this isn't an alter but she's so different it's not right

-- Wed Dec 18, 2013 6:07 pm --

secretsounds wrote:Might be a psychotic episode. Just might be. Can she see a p-doc?

After a week if this is still like this I am going to talk to her about a doctor's assistance.

I have videos of her from just a week ago, filled with laughter and wiggling her toes for me to kiss.

Now she just drifts from one room to the other, eyes so blank and cold. I feel like a part of her just...left. I'm so terrified, she doesn't do anything but the necessary things to exist and she's so LOGICAL! Everything she says sounds like a textbook professor wrote it

Tanaka: I don't particularly see why you would take her to a doctor unless she wants to herself. She seems able enough to take care of herself, though if that changes of course she will need assistance. It is very possible to make a new person that retains the older memories. She lost a family member and went to a place where abuse happened; both of which can be huge triggers. Maybe this is her way of handling things? Allowing her time and space to deal with her emotions and her alters seems the least she should be allowed to.

You're with a person with DID. This means a person who might switch into a personality that doesn't like you, a personality that is logical and so forth. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her. Just because you miss the part that you're usually with or a facet to her personality that is not there now, doesn't mean what she is doing is wrong. Treating you unfairly is never okay though and setting boundaries is important. Just remember that this may be her way of grieving or handling traumatic emotions that may have surfaced (that she may not remember) and so forth.

I'm the carer of someone with DID (and have DID myself) and sometimes the ones I see like me and engage with me and want to play or talk. Sometimes someone is out who says very crude things that are not nice. Sometimes it's parts that have no idea who I am or where they are. That is just a part of what happens. Being with someone with DID can include a lot of missing (parts that aren't forward) and confusion and never really knowing who you're gonna get. It's really just part of the deal until they are fully functional and all parts of her are in the here and now (and even then, you probably won't always know who you're gonna get, it just doesn't work that way).

Have you read much about DID or how to deal with someone with DID?