Introject?

Hi,

So quite often if I try to do certain things, think about certain things or try and explore my memory of certain things, I'm told internally "I'm not allowed to".

The more I challenge this, the more out of body I am forced until eventually I leave and switch to my little state, feeling child terrors.

When I was a child my father would lock me away (mainly in a very dark shed) or punish me for expressing certain things, like being upset when my brothers bullied me (bullying like being pushed out of a first floor window or waking up with a pillow over your head).

So I'm sure my system is internally replicating what my father did, to defend against him having to do it.

This has flared up recently; normally it would mainly impact therapy but now I'm also being told that I can't contact my best friend who I produce music with and other people in the outside world.

So as I understand it this could be an introject representation of my father. Does that sound right?

How do you work with one? TBH right now the only technique I have is to disagree and fight - sometimes that results in breakthrough, but more often I just switch.

Thanks

I just disprove the introject and move on. I'm not sure what else can be done, tbh.

Yar you're right - I managed to do so ok.

Making a mountain of a molehill in the end here!

Introject are still a part of your whole being. Showing this part of you that things are different now, you are safe (if you are) and that you can handle this (if you can) and helping him heal from his trauma is helpful, just like you would for any other part. All parts of you deserve acceptance, kindness understanding and healing.

Puttin up a fight, or ignoring, makes things worse- my experience

You can try to reach out- find out what s behind it s behaviour. Why is it so important to re enact your dad s behaviour?
Does it make him feel safe to recreate the past? Does he think that is what bein loved or protected means and is he tryin to show this this way?
He won t answer straight away-

you may look for somethin he likes/ shows intrest in. a certain song, movie, hobby and do that conciously lettin him know you re doin this for him-

when you reach out, you lower the defences they often hold and then communication is more possible-

this IS a part of your system, it s there for a reason, and the behaviour nor presence will go away by ignorin or by creatin walls- alters are very inventive in gettin what they want- the key is findin what they need