Really angry with my psychiatrist *SH trigger*

misosoup wrote:I a 100% thought they were real and acted on them.

There you go. That part may be psychotic. In some situations it can be really hard to tell. The type of mental abuse known as gaslighting makes use of the fact that all our subjective perceptions of the world are just that, perceptions.

Derealization can be very specific, not general to everything. For example I have episodes, thankfully rare, when my family is not my family. I experience them as complete strangers with whom, for some unknown reason, I live.

I'm actually REALLY concerned that your psychiatrist thinks you have psychosomatic seizures. Were you studied by a medical professional to confirm this? Because there are many physical illnesses that cause seizures, derealization, and depersonalization. I would definitely get an MRI of your head done if you havent already. Also a blood workup of all your various hormone levels. Sometimes when hormones are out of whack they can cause symptoms like these. Also, just as a precaution, I say get tested to see if you have parasites like toxoplasmosis.

Una
I do think because my sense of reality was messed up from gaslighting. I have a hard time trusting my own thoughts and feelings on anything.

zralco
I am going to see a neurologist because I have eye tracking problems, 'jerky smooth pursuit'. Also I have a faulty nervous system, so that does compound things. Although they are 'functional seizures' they're not just psychological. They scared me to death when I first had them. I wasn't worried I was epileptic, just freaked me out that trauma could cause such violent seizures and was so out of control of my body.

But I was diagnosed in the past with 'fibromyalgia' from emotional issues, but later found I had a physical problem that was causing the pain.

oh that's really good. My therapist was concerned a lot of my symptoms stemmed from physiological issues as well, but when I had an MRI and bloodwork, everything came back peachy normal.
If you have eye tracking problems and other neurological issues, I wouldnt be surprised if your seizures were purely physiological. as, usually prior to a seizure, the brain can go absolutely haywire and you can have massive derealization and depersonalization that would be caused by the seizure, prior to the seizure. There are tons of illnesses that can cause seizures that are not epilepsy, but also they could be psychosomatic as well (psychological turned physical). So I would probably work with your medical doctor and your psychiatrist on that as well.

I've had the eye tracking problem since I was about 10, but it was discovered 5 years ago (when I was 25). I had real problems with reading and focusing on things, driving is impossible.

So hopefully they'll get to the bottom of that. The eye tracking investigation is separate from the seizures. I did see a nice neurologist who specialises in 'functional neurological symptoms'. I also saw another psychiatrist who explained it all to me.

misosoup wrote:I did see a nice neurologist who specialises in 'functional neurological symptoms'.

This in particular sounds like you are in good hands.

Yeah, he was really nice.

When I was in hospital they kept asking me when the last time I SHed was, because my arms are very scarred. I didn't understand the relevance at the time, but he explained that if you give up a coping method and don't replace it, the mind has to put it somewhere.

I'd stopped SHing, drinking and bulimia and has starred to take care of myself. I had no outlet.

I've also been doing physiotherapy which bought up a lot of emotions. In my mind, my body does not exist. So having to be aware of it, talking about which parts hurt, being examined etc was traumatic. Part of the SH was self-neglect, so going for physio for a untreated joint disorder was hard.

I had to let go of the last of the SH, and I was also under a lot of stress. So the seizures make sense.