Why I don't like to cry *trigger warning*

There was one guy my mom dated who used to scare me. He'd scare me and I'd cry. When I cried, he'd grab me by my elbow or both wrists and drag me into the kitchen. I'd pull pretty hard. There were a couple times where he let go and I'd go flying into the wall or some furniture. Usually, he'd get me in the kitchen though, and he'd take the garbage bag out of the trash can. He'd put me in the trash can, put the lid on, and sit on top while I pounded and clawed, and cried for help. He wouldn't let me out until I calmed down. He would just laugh at me the whole time.

One time, I couldn't stop crying because my arm was dislocated. He got bored with sitting on top in the kitchen, so he dragged the garbage can into the tv room and sat on top again. He watched tv and I cried myself to sleep.

Other times, he'd pull me out of the can when I stopped and I'd be so upset that I attacked him. I kicked him in the shin and ran to my room, and locked him out. Whenever I did, he'd chase me and wait at the door. He'd pound at the door and threaten me. I would be in there all day and night with nothing to eat or drink snd he wouldn't even let my mom talk to me.

How can people be so awful??

I can't delete the post. Sorry about that. We're just having trouble coping with these things...

It's amazing how sick some human beings can be!

How old were you when you had to deal with this?

I was around 5 1/2- 6 years old.

*safe hugs if wanted*

*hands everyone a lollipop and a stuffy* ~Tia (written by Alex)

You probably suffered even worse abuse before this age, but you don't remember it. I tend to remember bad stuff, but not the stuff that is so horrible that I can't consciously deal with it.

I think of things like this as a study in human behavior. Sure my parents were sick, so were many others around me, but it had nothing to do with me. I try and look at the sick people as a science project rather than an abuser. It's helps me to separate my emotions from the facts. Maybe it will help you if you look at it this way.

It helps a little, but I'm really curious. He would make me act like an animal a lot to get out of the garbage can. If I didn't speak and I was on all fours, he was actually affectionate. He'd pet me and stuff. But he terrorized me when I acted like a kid.

I wonder what happened to him which led to that and why I wasn't allowed to be a human.

I'm sorry you had to go through something so insane AltCtrlDel. You weren't allowed to act human because that man was seriously screwed up. I'm sure you know it was nothing to do with you. It's terrible that its affected your ability to cry, crying is so healing. I hope you can work through that and be able to cry normally eventually.
Thinking of you.

sev0n, I really like your idea of looking at the sick people as a science project. However I'm glad I'm unable to actually understand such people. But it does help a lot to know that their behaviour has nothing to do with me and I can at least understand they are the ones with the real problems.

Thank you both for your insights.

Rubyscarlet, the therapist is able to get my younger alts to come out and cry. It's a start.

I'm glad to hear some of you have found a safe space to cry