Who's Family is It? *Trigger?*

I have been wondering, I have fronted without knowing about DID for theoretically years. I have always thought that the family that we will live with is mine. But their son and brother died whenever we couldn't develop right? No one else inside thinks of the family as relatives...

Is it even my family?

I am so lost...

Does anyone else have these thoughts?

This is something the insiders talk about from time to time. They've come to the conclusion that they don't see the family as their relatives, and that they don't see them as accepting and caring enough (towards them) to see them as family. I do see them that way, but a lot of that has to do with acceptance. They believe I am me, since they have always known me, and just having Jeff in this body is the concept that the family can understand.

That doesn't mean that a system can't see a family as their own, but I'm afraid I can't speak much on that, and it would be jumping off the subject just a bit, anyway.

-Jeff

Thank you for the reply Jeff. It seems wrong that it makes me feel better that others have this problem. I am not sure if your family knows about DID but mine(still not sure about that ) doesn't and I probably won't ever tell them.

Accepting as in 'your my son/daughter too' or accepting 'yeah you are real etc.'
Insiders' acceptance to them or the family's acceptance to the insiders? (hope you are fine with that terminology )

Of course, Ethan. I've told both of my parents, and they've (TW:religion) both tried to convince me it's a work of the devil, with no evidence other than they're trying to explain it in a way they understand. (END TW) Thankfully, I have a family member who isn't so quick to justify it that way, and sees the insiders as what they really are.

By acceptance, I mean in the way that they believe the insiders are real. I'm not sure exactly where the jump is from acknowledgement to friend to family, since none of us have even tried to make that jump. I can say that it's up to both the family member and the alter (if I may use that term) to accept each other, just like any other relationship.

EDIT: I should also say that my posts aren't gospel, and each experience will be different. I am only commenting on our personal experience.

-Jeff

Hmm, guess there won't be much acceptance on our end then...
Thank you for answering my questions.
I hope you have a nice day and/or good night.

Thanks, Ethan, and you too. If you ever want to chat, we're only a PM away.

If anyone else has experience on this subject, I'd love to hear it. For anyone with a diagnosis, did that help? This is a very interesting topic, and I hope I haven't hijacked it.

-Jeff

Is it even my family?

I am so lost...

Does anyone else have these thoughts?

We definitely have had these thoughts. Some parts in our system think of the mother and father as just that: their mother and father, others do not. We allow and respect each of our rights to feel how we feel about that. Family is a subjective thing: it's not necessarily merely physical, it can also be a feeling of love and belonging. Some in our system love the father and considers him a father, some do not care for him but consider him a father all the same, some have no particularly strong feelings about the father but do not consider him as such and some do not like him at all and consider him nothing of the sort.

We respect everyone in the system's own thoughts about this.

I hope you're able to find a way to feel about this that is less distressing to you.

It wasn't so much as distress as much as an errant thought, brought some feelings with it.
I just don't feel I can say they are my family until I find all the insiders and learn how they feel about the family, then maybe we (the subjective collective of those insiders that think of the family as such) can call the family ours.

subjective collective... How big will that be?