WHY IS *LIFE* SO DIFFICULT?!?!?

Well Amanda and I have been talking about it and I am going to be M.I.A. a while. I won't be coming out....

I can't take all of the confusion I have, and it seems I'm really messing you guys up.

It isn't worth it.

There isn't any use in making you guys miserable, just so I can come out and be confused and miserable myself.

When people are getting hurt it takes all the fun out of everything. All I want is to have fun when I come out, so if that's not going to happen what's the fu<king point? I'd rather just stay inside.

As for Vade it is obvious that my stupid crush is just that... STUPID.... why should I even bother fu<king thinking about it?

As for my crush on Aayla's boyfriend, yeah something can come of it... but right now I just need to disappear.

I'm just done now... so go ahead and be happy again.

For the record I'm not mad.... in case it sounded that way. I'm just over it.... so.....

Goodbye.

ow hun

You sound so unhappy and hurt.

It s hard sharin a body and havin to take into account everyone s needs and demands.

If you feel sleepin will be better, then do so.

But Always remember that you are a valid part of the system you belong to, they need you too.

Yes, you hurt them, you say that. Well, Indie hurt me loads of times. But I d still have her around rather then asleep or gone, cause she is part of the system, and her hurt (I m not sayin that s the same for you) was very meaningful.

she s integrated now, and even tho I miss her a lot - she s closer to me then ever before, for which I m grateful.

Don t underestimate the meanin of you bein there

Minnie

I really feel bad about this.

I really feel a lot of different things about this....

I do actually think that maybe you and Amanda are right, that.... for a while at least.... it might be better if you aren't coming out....

Again I feel bad saying that, but I think that having some time to work through the things that have happened before without the concern over what is happening currently might help....

I don't wish you didn't exist. I admit I have thought that at times..... but.... I know you mean well.... and I know you never meant for anyone to get hurt..... and I know it's hard not having the freedom you crave....

I also know you have come a long way... the way you care and are less selfish about things....

I appreciate that you are willing to not come out for a while to give us a chance to cope.

I'm sorry that all of these issues have made coming out not fun anymore for you....
it's just that a lot of your fun impacts us in painful ways.....

I've had a lot of hard thoughts about you for a while now.... but I realized that if you were someone else, with a different body, I would probably think you are awesome and we'd be friends and I wouldn't have any reason to dislike you.... it's is just because you are a part of me that I was hard on you.... it's just one more aspect of this that is unfair. It is just easy to be hard on you when your decisions end up effecting things in my life so much.

I hope things will be better..... and you coming out less for a while might help that happen.

I am sorry that that is the case though.....

I think it s hard sharin a body and not sharin the same wishes.

But you all are part of the same system, so in a way you both create the whole of you.

Which means in a way her needs are your needs to that need to be met. Now I don t mean havin two relationships, just the concept of 'fun'.

If she wants 'fun' that can be so many things and maybe you can work round this.

But it seems as for now you both made your mind up that it s best if she s asleep for now.

I hope things work out for all of you.

Love

Minnie

Can some1 fix all the s#it goin on here please? WTF! Im getting sick of listening 2 Wanda complain.

All of u need 2 just get over ur fu<king s#it.

Aayla, I feel 4 u cuz u gotta deal wit evry1 else wanting different things 4 ur life but really u gotta just decide 4 urself.

Stop being so worried bout ur boyfriend or wanda and have things b how you want, what ur ok wit.

U can still be nice, u still r nice, even if u dont make evry1 else happy. Just make u happy. U make the rules. If some1 else cant deal wit that then fu<k them!

Wanda I get ur having a rough time and s#it but u gotta deal wit it better. U r getting on my last fu<king nerve. Stop hiding and go get it figured out.

4 real people, work it the fu<k out!

Fu<k you Ella. if you don't want to hear it don't listen. You complain about things more than anyone. That post itself was proof of it. You can't complain all the time and then be upset about it any time anyone else has something going on that they wanna talk about. I'm glad you are sick of listening to me, I'm glad I'm getting on your nerves, cause i've been sick of listening to you and you've been getting on my nerves for a long time. You are the one that needs to get over it.

Complainging and rudeness aside, both of you have made some good points. Maybe we should all discuss things together soon.

Wow.....

I hate that so much is going on that I don't even know about....