No idea how to proceed...

Okay, so I'm going to skip a lot here because I'm not writing a book... I've been dealing with symptoms for many years, its gotten to the point where i had to seek a second opinion, I don't have the best history with therapists and don't really trust them. So the next logical choice was google, after searching so of my symptoms I found my way to this forum. I began reading some of what the members had posted and a chill ran up my back and I literally began crying. It was like someone was watching and writing down experiences I've been having almost to the point of being creepy. I told my best friend that i think i may have DID, and she said that she never wanted me to contact her again. That it was way too much for her to deal with but that i should seek help. Given what happened I'm reluctant to tell anyone else i know and really have no idea what to do or where to go from here. The members here seem to be very supportive and any advise would be a life saver.

Real life friends are so hit and miss. But no one here is going to have such a severe reaction to you speaking about your DID - so you are safe here in that way!

Trust problems are extremely hard; especially in therapy. It takes a very astute and open therapist sometimes to hang on to a DID client who has different parts of them; some too trusting, some not trusting at all. It can take a long time to find a therapist you feel you all fit with.

Perhaps it would help you if you shared some of what you can relate to from what you've read here? Connections and relatability is what I cherish here on this forum.

Will check back later,

-B

Welcome to forums I'm happy you found some clarity with the forums, our system did too.

Sorry you had to go through that with your friend, but remember, there are understanding people out there, as Bourbon said.

Long story short, nice meeting you and we look forward to seeing you around on forums.

Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry about your friend.
Finding a therapist might be tricky, as some are very skeptical or don't focus on the prime issue, or even worse don't listen to you at all.
Sorry your friend is crappy.
Shadow and Faith

Welcome to the forum! Everyone here will believe and trust you sometimes people have trouble accepting, and I'm sorry about your friend reacting that way.

animekid302 wrote:I began reading some of what the members had posted and a chill ran up my back and I literally began crying. It was like someone was watching and writing down experiences I've been having almost to the point of being creepy.

Similar story here. I was actually in therapy with someone who refused to discuss diagnosis or even comment on my symptoms. So finally I went online and diagnosed myself in a few minutes. It was uncanny how exactly some experiences described here matched my own, and even worse were the experiences described that I had not had. Were those in my future?

animekid302 wrote:I told my best friend that i think i may have DID, and she said that she never wanted me to contact her again.

I am sorry for your loss. This reaction is a very good sign that your friend has far bigger problems of her own than you know about. For example, she may also have DID and not be ready to have the lid come off. Her reaction is not a reflection on you. Hold onto that thought! Wish her a safe journey and let her go.

Ugh that really sucks your friend reacted that way. Some people tend to do that. Or they go the other route and say "Oh I know all about it since I saw Sybil that one time on Lifetime." /rant.

But yea. That's a really horrible response you got from her. People react differently. I wouldn't take one reaction and assume that will be the reaction of many. In the circle we've told, we've had some people reject us ("RUN FOR THE HILLS!" response), some people accept us except they only accept one of us as "real" ("Well you are all just parts of person-X"), and the rare gem actually accepts us as individuals and doesn't think we're bananas (yaaaaayyyyy the best kind of people!). IMO, it just boils down to their own reception of the idea. I think the bad reactions are more reflective of their own sh*t (narrow minded for one, or triggered, or whatever) and not something you should hold on to, it doesn't reflect who YOU are, it only reflects where they are with this information, and that itself probably has many layers and stuff that nobody knows about but them. Run-for-the-hills reactions do hurt and it is sucky and of course you can be upset about it. I would be. But don't take it to heart for the long run.

As per the T, hm. some are good, some are bad. A good therapist will build you up, a bad one will do the opposite and then leave more knots to be untangled. in fact, my rant up there could be applied to therapists too... anyways, if you ever decide you want a T, my 2 cents is - look around online for people who are part of the ISSTD. look up Ts from their website, i know they have a "find a therapist" place. Or roll the dice and visit local Ts. even if one knows squat about being Plural, if you find one that you click with and he/she is willing to learn and go on a therapeutic adventure with ya, that's good too. But if it's not working, if it makes you unhinged, or something is fishy, or it seems like everything is worse, remember to take care of yourself - if that means leaving, go. I have met some folks who got a lot out of therapy, but we've never had much luck with therapists. we do most of that for each other and it's worked out fine. check in with yourself(/selves). for some people therapy has been miraculous so it really just depends on finding that really really good therapy relationship, i guess.

and this forum is totally here for you. none of us are going to run away screaming and thinking you're nuts. Welcome

It isn't easy for me to ask for help, I've always been the kind of guy who helps anyone who asks for help without a second thought, but who would never burden anyone else with my problems. So thank you all for your helpful posts. It means a lot to me... to us.

It was uncanny how exactly some experiences described here matched my own, and even worse were the experiences described that I had not had. Were those in my future?

This is actually the reason I had to stop reading this forum several times before signing up here. It really made me terrified sometimes.

Welcome here Animekid It's good to have you here and the others here are right: this is an open and supportive place for everyone and we can relate to your struggles here I hope you find this place helpful and continue to post if you feel it helps.

Thinking of you

The therapist has to be just right. Not too hot, not too cold, but not lukewarm. Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound, faster than a speeding bullet, etc. SuperTherapist, perhaps. I have been looking for the right one for years. I think I finally found her. She is honest without causing damage. She listens but doesn't take any b.s. She has experience with dissociation and impulsivity. Today, I had the opportunity to confront her about something that isn't working in therapy. Now, I'll get to see how she reacts and whether we can work it out. I hope so. This is the last time I'm going to try therapy. I just want more access to memories than I have currently. And I'm tired of constantly panicking that this or that self will be discovered by someone hurtful. I have to keep all my personal information(s) in my head and not on paper or in my computer because I am too fearful. My therapist said, "What if you forget something?" I said, "I have forgotten or dissociated so much information already in my life, what's a little more?"