What kind of game is she trying to play?

Not feeling well
something's wrong
very wrong
I feel weakish
looked up some websites,
not for help,
just to revalidate
myself
but now I feel sick and all clammy
stayed home from school
felt a bit sick
but it's not that...
something's very wrong...
-Faith

Hey sweetie,

if you want to talk, I m right here.

Love

Nina11

Hi.
It's more like a feeling I can't exactly pin down
like it's
I can't breathe
I feel like I'm being crushed or like chains are wrapping around me and killing me
and those chains are rules and "discipline" and expectations...
Need love. Need love. Don't know what it feels like. Mine's been so cold
Love should feel warm, right? I wanna feel warm, been so cold, never realized it...
Love should be warm and not cold and not feeling like you're drowning in rules and like it's hard to breathe...

It s a bit like bein choked - isn t it?

Love is many things, and people can call upon love when it has nothin to do with it.

True love is about acceptance, allowin the other to be free -

not limitin them in their ways.

I m so sorry you didn t experience the warmth, safety and shelter love can offer.

*gentle squeezy hugs*

love

Nina11

Yes... *nod*
The other day Mom said that my kids would end up to disrespect me because I treated her the same way and that really hurt...
About a week ago, when I was acting all depressed (before our "shopping expedition"), Mom had done something to make me upset, and my self esteem, was, on a scale of 1-10, -5, and Mom said I was putting a guilt trip on her, but I was trying to let her know how depressed I was (and still, really am).

It's even at school now...

Hey sweetie,

sounds like your mum is tryin to manipulate you.

when you have experienced trauma, you do need help to process that. but once processed I don t see why you would be disrespected by your kids.

If you treat her with - how she experiences - disrespect, it sounds to me more about how SHE is treatin you.

Try to block her words out if possible, even tho it s really hard.

Gentle hugs

Love

Nina11

I don't disrespect her though. It's that her definition is different than everyone elses.
I'll try.