I'm done being host! **Trigger**

WE NEED A HOST CHANGE! I'm tired of it. I don't want to be the host. I'm not good enough. Our life is going downhill because of me. I can't accomplish anything. I can't function. It's all going downhill and I'm done. Somebody else do it because I quit.

Leslie, you do not quit. You are the best fit for the job of host and you aren't backing down now. Think of all the people it would hurt if you were gone so often.


I don't care! If I stay then I'll end up dying of depression anyway. I'm done. You do it. Somebody else do it.



I have an idea. How about I co-host with you?


Ha! You guys always offer, but you never stick around long enough.

I will. I'll be the main one out if you prefer.

No. I don't want to be out at all. I need a break.

No. Co-host or nothing.


Fine.

I understand how hard hosting can be. I know what it's like to want to quit I have wanted to quit many times.

But please dont give up, at least try cohosting because if the cohost sticks around it really does help. It's what we are doing now and it has been helping us a lot.

*safe hugs if wanted*

Thanks for posting this. I have been wondering...can a change of host be scheduled? Seems that I am aware that a change of host is scheduled for tomorrow. This has been planned now for 2 weeks. If this should be another thread...sorry. Just wondering.

I think a host change can be scheduled if the system is ready for a change that big.

With me I screamed for months and months please take me away from being host.
During a very hard time in my life but afterwards I realised I was the only one who could handle it.
Changing host process is hard on the system to. When I switched over from Nell neither of us can remember a thing. Besides it happened.

Get some good coping techniques going. Allow others plenty of time to give you a break. Just please don't give up host is a hard role that others may not understand at all how hard it is. Ex-host just go nope for me if I ever thought of giving up. But there are other ways to survive while Hosting. Like alone time let them out. Chill out when you can. get someone else out for a day or just a few hours. Co-host Me and Barry are practically one at times and it make it all easier to hear him when I'm down. I reguarly visit my internal when I'm stressed. Yet I'm still host still coping and surviving with care of the body Nell entrusted me with the body I have to take care of it with the help of many others. So please Don't give up. Try and find a balance that suits the system.

Hornet339 wrote:WE NEED A HOST CHANGE! I'm tired of it. I don't want to be the host. I'm not good enough. Our life is going downhill because of me. I can't accomplish anything. I can't function.

Yep, been there, said that. Didn't work. I left a note once saying I needed to go inside for a while and I needed someone else to take over as host, then I went to sleep. I got woken up by my partner at the time thinking I had tried to kill myself Waking up and realising I was still there was bloomin painful.

I'm not functioning either. I lost my job, am on benefits, trying to claw my way out of a massive depressive hole I found myself in. But the way I see it is this is all part of healing. Instead of just switching to another host, which would probably mean creating a part, I need to just sit with what we can do right now and allow myself the time to breathe. Going away and carrying the depression with you isn't going to help the system in the long run. Life is about more than "overtly" functioning in my opinion. Ask for help, but you can do it. Your system obviously believes in you and accepts that you are where you are and that is okay.

-B

It just doesn't seem fair that I have to do all the work while they laze around asking for compromise and stuff. You know what I mean? They only come out to do fun stuff while I'm loaded with all of the work.

That is true and I apologize, but you have to think about our position as well. We only surfaced last year and we're still finding out who we are and who we want to be. We also do a lot more on the inside than you realize, Leslie. It's exausting trying to keep everyone in control. If we weren't workingso hard to function on inside life and all then we wouldn't have as much of a problem working on the outside too.

I guess I understand. I wish I could just work on the inside instead, though.

and I wish I could work on the outside, but I have many reasons why I won't take over.

1. People would miss you and have bad reactions. They would cry and hate us alters for 'taking you away'. You know we'll get the blame for this. They don't think rationally. The alters are the enemies in their eyes because they don't understand.

2. I want you to experience life. REAL life. You deserve it.

3. You ARE the best one for the job. I know you don't believe me, but it's the truth.

If thee time comes for a host change then I will take over. Not right now, though. I'll gladly co-host with you, though.

I ve felt the same, and the others kept sayin I was best fit when I thought I absolutely was NOT.

After the past months it has become different.

This is all still rather new to me too, and it s hard to get a hand of it, especially - in my case - when things keep changin so fast.

Love and strenghts

Nina11

Thank you for your replies everyone. Leslie, however, has gone inside and won't come out. What am I going to do? Should I pretend to be her and carry on as host? Maybe Leslie will come to her senses and come out sometime. She's been having a hard time ever since she and her boyfriend of six years broke up. It'll be weird being the host. I really didn't want to have to do this, but she's giving me no choice now. I keep calling for her, but she won't come out.

I haven t been host when I was goin through some stuff and the others had to cover.

It s hard - it seems at first -

but don t forget you share a lot.

You can do this. I hope for you it s temporary.

I m sorry about the break up. A relationship of six years is a lot and it s hard to see someone that important walk out of your life.

I m sorry you re all goin through this.

I m sendin you everythin you need to make it.

Love

Nina11