massive switch

I haven't told anyone. I shouldn't. I don't want to be scared of her. I don't want it to control me. A few months ago, before I aged back and I was the host, Michaela who still is suicidal, had tried to drawn us. I woke up literally breathing water. And even now, we keep switching a lot when taking a bath and I am so afraid of the water. Yet I come out every time. And I start hyperventilating and crying. Omg. This is so embarrassing.

I am so triggered and scared

~ Lexi

You shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. That sounds like it was a really scary experience. I would be scared too.

Hi safe hugs if wanted..

Maybe before a bath others take it very slow ask you to come out before you get into the water and slowly introduce you to it. Even just putting your foot into a bucket of water to get the feel
If you can't stand the water there are alternate ways to bath while you learn to adjust.

theres no need to be embarrassed. We all have are fears.

Thank you for the advice, spanky_spee. it seems a very good idea ( don't know why we haven't thought about it sooner ). We shall definitely try it next time.

But I don't want anyone ( from the outside ) to see me doing that. It would be creepy. I don't wanna be creepy.

~ Lexi

It's ok, sweetie. We can do this while we are home alone

The problem is not the water itself, but the fact that it's touching the face while the hair is washed. And so it feels as if she can't breathe because water would get in the way...

~May

We can relate. Take it one step at a time, try to do calming and grounding techniques. Nothing to be embarrassed about. For what it's worth, we have an SO who's had to sit outside the bathroom and watch us shower for give our take almost a year. At times it was every time, now we do it almost exclusively on our own (with the exception of her checking the temperature because of some physical problems we have). This is due to fear and a lot of things. Sure it's not fun but you learn and you take the steps you need to to get healthy and stable. Best of luck.

No need to feel embarrassed. I could never have water touching my face either. I wash my hair in the kitchen sink and take baths in the tub to avoid that feeling of panic.