who is dreaming?

So I have been plagued with nightmares my entire life. I thought this was normal, until I started therapy. Not so normal. My T insists that dreams are always framed by something internal. There are very violent/triggering dreams that I won't go into ......but there are consistent themes. They are not flashbacks but invented scenarios of a certain type.

the thing is how do I know who is dreaming? I've tried asking and it's almost like no one knows rather than no one will say.......

Dreams are a window into the subconscious, so maybe everyone is sharing the nightmares? These nightmares may symbolize the abuse you encountered. It's certainly like this for me. I hope it gets better for you.

I believe that dreams are a manifestation of both the conscious and the subconscious, so therefore the dreams are occurring within you as a whole person. There are many levels to dreams and I am quite certain that if you had extensive dream analysis that you would be able to uncover the meaning for each alter. However, in today's practice of therapy, that is not so practical. If you are really plagued by the dreams and if they are recurrent, I would suggest keeping a dream log or journal. Just like every DID person should keep a journal for communication between alters. You will find this invaluable in understanding the underlying meanings.

I had a recurrent dream about my therapist for months. I kept dreaming I was in the waiting room on time for my appt but all these other women kept showing up one after the other and he kept taking them and promising I would be next. But then hours would pass and the end of the day came andi was still waiting. He came out to say he was exhausted and just wanted to eat dinner and be with his family. I was left to go home. Finally, I got to the meaning of the dream by accident. one of my alters wanted to talk to him but wouldnt come out and hid information from the therapist. She didn't think she would be believed. But things got so bad that she had to talk. He addressed the issue of my fearing I wouldn't be believed and helped me with the issue. Dream stopped after that.

I too have very very violent dreams most nights. I die in a lot of my dreams too. But I understand that dying in dreams can mean a lot of changes owing on in your life like an end to the way things have been. Violence an represent the struggle you are undergoing. Whether its stress, chaos, therapy and trying to heal. The mind plays out those emotions in some not so pleasant ways. But consider it a blessing that you remember your dreams because remembering is a step to understand and communicate with your subconscious which can open the door for your system.

Just wanted to say that I very much agree with Luvmycats.

We can tell who dreams from time to time, but other times it seems it us as a collective (or at least several of us). Best of luck.

maybe you guys are right, maybe it is the collective.

Luvmycats, thanks for sharing your dream. I know what you mean about revealing your dreams and putting and end to the circuitry causing them. I was having nightmares in the fall, over and over, that I had to move out of my house but I wasn't ready (didn't pack, didn't clean, didn't sell the house, didn't have it ready etc.). then I read about the house being the self, and that moving means a change in your life. I interpreted this as a change in myself was coming and that some parts were not ready. Not ready to leave the past behind in some cases (a number of the dreams was that I hadn't packed all of my things from my past I had been keeping forever). We decided that "moving" was not an option until everyone was ready and until the "stuff" was sorted out and ready. And those particular dreams stopped.

I've always been against the journal - as if it is living proof of my state of being. It is a really hard thing for me to overcome, however some posts here have become a sort of journal in that I can look back at previous posts. But I am not ready for journaling ...though maybe starting with dreams instead of thoughts would be an idea.....

Luvmycats wrote: But consider it a blessing that you remember your dreams because remembering is a step to understand and communicate with your subconscious which can open the door for your system.

Quite right. I know that there are really terrible nightmares. I wake up feeling the after effects. But I can never remember the dreams.
I only remember a few dreams anyways. Even the good ones are mostly lost.
It probably means that the problems is coming to a head and needs to be dealt with now.

And Dream journaling first does sound like a good idea.

SamsLand wrote:maybe you guys are right, maybe it is the collective.

Luvmycats, thanks for sharing your dream. I know what you mean about revealing your dreams and putting and end to the circuitry causing them. I was having nightmares in the fall, over and over, that I had to move out of my house but I wasn't ready (didn't pack, didn't clean, didn't sell the house, didn't have it ready etc.). then I read about the house being the self, and that moving means a change in your life. I interpreted this as a change in myself was coming and that some parts were not ready. Not ready to leave the past behind in some cases (a number of the dreams was that I hadn't packed all of my things from my past I had been keeping forever). We decided that "moving" was not an option until everyone was ready and until the "stuff" was sorted out and ready. And those particular dreams stopped.

I've always been against the journal - as if it is living proof of my state of being. It is a really hard thing for me to overcome, however some posts here have become a sort of journal in that I can look back at previous posts. But I am not ready for journaling ...though maybe starting with dreams instead of thoughts would be an idea.....

SamsLand- Thanks for sharing yours too. Sounds like a good interpretation of the moving dream. I can't dream journal. Journaling daily for healing and personal growth and systems communication is hard. It took forever to get to that point of just doing it. I do look forward to it when I'm stressed and it does help with the switching. I would guess that to be because I'm owning the feelings and immortalizing them on paper. But using the forums as a form of journaling- hey that works too!

I have very violent dreams sometimes.
** trigger warning **
A lot horrible things happen. I've always had this type of dream, sometimes quite often when I was young. Now not so often, but it still happens sometimes. Things that happen in the dreams:

• I self-harm. Very much. To the point that things just aren't possible to survive.
  
• I have committed suicide multiple times. Weird to write it down this way. But I never, ever thought of it as strange. And never even remotely considered it as a real-life option. I was young then
  
• I am immortal and have no pain in those dreams. That's why the suicide attempts failed and self-harm could go very far (including cutting whole limbs).
  
• I force people to do things. Usually, related to sex. Or am forced myself to do it, and like it
  
• Before adolescence, it would be things that, well, children associate with sex.
  
• Other things that are really nasty and weird.

As a child, apparently, it was normal I did self-harm in dreams? I've never understood why people did it. But I did discover the calming feeling of pain then (did not use that, btw, and it never was anything remotely dangerous). (This is something I recently remembered.) I've come to understand why people do it, I think, and I even sometimes have some of those urges ... (still not doing it, and not intending to give in anytime soon).
** end **
But I never thought of it as strange.
Additionally, everything seems to float. I'm often just outside my real body (dissociation?).
These dreams were often lucid dreams. So I knew they were dreams. But still. I wanted to do all those things They were not nightmares. I wasn't afraid of them (usually).

I also don't usually journal, only when I feel the need for it.

My dreams have always been very difficult, not so much nightmarish but difficult to interpret. You might be seeing things through another alters eyes. Not so much AS the alter but as if they were sharing with you. How they see things. It really depends on you.

Triggers follow.....

Dreams are a window into the subconscious, so maybe everyone is sharing the nightmares? These nightmares may symbolize the abuse you encountered. It's certainly like this for me. I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks. I can't relate it though. I often have nightmares that I am being chase for having seen something or for something I know (chased as in hunted). SO maybe I saw something once upon a time?

But consider it a blessing that you remember your dreams because remembering is a step to understand and communicate with your subconscious which can open the door for your system.

But lately the dreams are that I am going to be executed. At least the ones I remember (because I wake up abruptly). And for many different reasons. There are loads of dreams I don't remember. And yes, I often wish I could. but If they are like the execution dreams, perhaps it is a blessing I forget some....

Oaktree, I feel for you. Those dreams sound awful. I also have weird sexual dreams. They creep me out.

Faithinwrongthings, you are probably right. I have noticed to pay attention to how I think I am relative to something in the dream. ie If I am to go home, where is that and who lives there? Am I bigger, smaller etc. This has helped a bit. But I find the dreams are increasing and so is sleeplessness. I guess I have some issues creeping up.....