Making progress with traumatized alter

We have been making great progress lately with our baby alters.

Since moving our 2 year old has been coming out a lot more and has started communicating a lot more both about herself and her younger sister. She has had very noticeable PTSD symptoms in the past but now she is more and more like a normal baby. She is laughing and talking with lots of new words and is so enjoying our chandeliers (her favourite thing in the worlds are light sources). She has shared that there was something that was scary to her in the old apartment but when asked what it was she just made the "hush" sign. We're hoping this new house stays safe for her

The youngest baby, our 1 year old, is the one who has been unresponsive. She has very much just disconnected from everything. With the help of our 2 year old though we were able to find out that she does respond, slightly, to piano music - and especially to the song Für Elise. The SO played the song on her phone and the baby made some hand movements (that, according to the two year old, is the equivalent of smiling) and actually locked eyes for a bit, as opposed to the eyes just being glazed over like they usually are. She also reacted when the SO sang a children's rhyme to her that we have never heard before. It's one of those songs where you put in the child's name and usually their mommy or daddy etc - making the song an equivalent to more or less asking if the child's parents are home and then saying yes or no. The SO though, put in our baby alter's name and "[baby alter's] grandma" instead of mommy and she actually reacted to it! Our grandma was the only safe person for us growing up and she was an immense support. She is also the only person we've ever seen her react to. This is amazing progress with the both of them.

Baby steps, quite literally

it s so good to read about your process
and progress.



Nina11

Thank you I'm glad you like to see this. Wasn't sure if anyone would be interested but I like writing it down because it usually make me think new thoughts and hear from more alters

You ve meant a lot to me in the past few months, so it s only natural that I m interested in your progress.

Much Love

Nina11

Thank you. I didn't know I meant anything to you Made me happy Thank you

It sounds like this move has been a really great thing for y'all, and I too hope that the new place continues to be more of a refuge for y'all.

You all are making such wonderful progress lately. I am continually amazed at how incredibly patient and kind and caring y'all are.

Reading of your progress is so inspiring and it brings hope of progress for me too.

You all are making such wonderful progress lately. I am continually amazed at how incredibly patient and kind and caring y'all are.

Reading of your progress is so inspiring and it brings hope of progress for me too.

Oh thank you

I'm glad it's an inspiration to you. Healing is possible for anyone - and that's you included

*general trigger warning due to the nature of the topic at hand*

We have been working a long time with our most traumatized alter Anya, who split at 6 and has aged yearly until body age 11 and is currently age 11-18 depending on the day and situation.
She is unaware of most daily life occurrances and has only been out for *trigger warning for specific abuse* life threatening torture *end*. In this past year we have done a lot of work with her at home and little by little she has started taking interest in new things. She has now seen almost the whole Walking with... series from BBC (a series about dinosaurs, cavemen etc) and she has seen several episodes of Dinosaur Train (a show made for young kids that teaches you about dinosaurs) as well as heard two songs (one of which she absolutely adores) and has shared with love of Chinese lanterns. She has made a couple of drawings and has been able to fall asleep twice. All of this is great progress.

What we have also found out is that she was the one who took care of the babies and children inside when we were younger. Anya, with her inability to make a single sound (it is quite eerie, last year she was running down a gravel hill and not a sound was made ) and so little info on daily life, was the one to care for our youngest alter: R, and her sister Aurora. R is unresponsive to everything we have done until now but we are making progress with her too. Aurora and R were named by Anya. Aurora got her name from the disney princess - Sleeping beauty - which is the only princess Anya had heard of. She is mesmerized looking at pictures of Aurora (the disney princess) and idolizes her. Lately, while making more contact with Anya and her fronting more often she has gotten to get some "tattoos" of Aurora, and both Anya and Aurora (the baby alter) have been very proud. We (or rather, our SO) first started by putting an Aurora sticker on her arm. She beamed with pride at this.

Then we tried a stamp. The first half a minute it looked like Aurora but within the time it took to take a photo it was mostly a blurr. Anya didn't mind though and was still so filled with joy about it long after it was just a blurr and all the way through it just being a pink dot and then disappearing.

The other day she got to try something new: a temporary tattoo. Sure Aurora's face is a little all over the place but she looks like herself and Anya has rarely seen such a beautiful thing. When she's out she just lays and watches it in curiosity and wonder.

It is amazing to see how far she is coming and instead of seeing only pure fear in her eyes, to see someone who treasures each little thing so much. This is our motivation to go on

*major trigger warning*

Do any of you have any suggestions for resources in dealing with miscarriage? I am grieving the loss of our two angels still and am unable to move on as I still live in the year that it happened (many years ago now, the body was very young). For all these years, almost every time I've come out I've felt pregnant and been greeted by flashbacks of the loss (of the first, for which I was the one present). Lately I am beginning to come "out of" the year it happened, but my loss is still so hard to carry. I have done several healing activities, which have helped. It's just further compounded and complicated by the dissociative experiences. Anyone else dealt with this who would be comfortable talking about their experiences?

Lin, 12 years old

LLT:
<<It is amazing to see how far she is coming and instead of seeing only pure fear in her eyes, to see someone who treasures each little thing so much. This is our motivation to go on >>

I was really happy to read about the progress you are making with your hurt alters. It's very helpful for me to read about. Thank you for continuing to share your story.

Lin: I don't have specific help for you but I am sorry to hear of the loss of your little angels - you are a very brave girl and i hope to hear of your healing as you make progress in this. Safe hugs to you if wanted-

xxoo