How to tackle this?

So I recently began talking to some old high school friends and it has been really nice to get back in touch with them. One of them, who for the purpose of this I will refer to as G, was my best friend through most of high school and it felt really good to see her again.
However last night she invited a group of us to go on holiday in the summer. It will just be for a few days. One of the guys going I'm pretty close with, who we'll call H, but the other two were people I didn't really know that well during school. They are nice enough people but I suppose I find it weird going away with people I don't know too well.
I'm pretty introverted and for the most part dislike being away from home but I'm feeling pretty excited as the last few days catching up with my old friends has been enjoyable. Plus in my system there are more extroverted personalities than introverted and Dean is excited for it because this is the kind of things he's into plus Scott has missed these people as well so he's pretty enthusiastic too.

I guess I have a few concerns though. Nearly two years ago I went away with G, H and a few high school friends for one night in London. It was only one night but I went through so much internal stress it felt like I was away from home for weeks. I felt very alone and out of place and to make matters worse H arranged the trip and forgot to mention he couldn't get a hotel and we were sleeping in a hostel. I was very uncomfortable with this as I get very nervous when I am away from home and didn't like the thought of being in a room full of strangers. No alters made themselves known but I could sense Darren under the surface as he helps me deal with my anger but quite a lot of the time it is in a negative way. I ended up falling out with G over pretty trivial stuff but I ended up sending her some horrible messages when we got home as I felt she hadn't been that supportive of me over the last couple of years. We stopped talking for a little while but we made up in the end.

That was only one night and it caused me so many negative emotions. How will I survive a few days (I think it might be 4-5 days)? G was the first person I ever talked to about the voices in my head so she has known about me for about 7 years. However she only knows about Scott and Darren and she still thinks they are a part of psychosis (my original diagnosis) and doesn't know they are alters that do have some influence on my actions and feelings. H is aware of them too but he only has some vague information.
I'm scared that if I start to get stressed the alters will show and how do I explain that? Should I let them have more information about me before we go so they can spot when I am distressed? Do I only tell G and H and not the other two who I don't really know? What if I tell them but we go away and I am fine and they think I was making it up or overreacting?

My second concern is in regards to how my alters may react. Now like I've said countless times I never fully switch. When an alter is out we are co-conscious and for the most part I have the authority but if I'm far away from my comfort zone there's a chance I won't have much power at all. If they did come out I don't think anything bad would happen. The only person to cause problems is Darren but he is very aggressive. However Dean is a big drinker who is quite reckless and doesn't think about consequences and Ted is quite a promiscuous character, although he is very respectful that it's my body and he can't do anything I don't agree with. Still I'm worried that something could happen that I will regret.

So I'm a bit stuck really. Although I struggle with big social things and being away from home I would really like to be able to go as I've had a lot of fun with G and H recently and I want to maintain the friendship. I am really worried things could go really wrong though.

PS. I also go on holiday with my family the week after I come back from the holiday with my friends. I'm not sure if I can handle being away that much.

-Hunter

It might be best to realize that you may not be ready for this yet, especially with the circumstances of going on a holiday with your family just before that, and perhaps see if you can either change the date of the holiday with your friends, or perhaps have it at a local/closer place than it might already be, or see if you guys can do something else entirely, or something like that.


Otherwise, the only advice I have right now is to maybe set up safety plans with everyone else (alters, I mean), perhaps discuss possibilities like being co-conscious most if not all the time with someone to make being things easier, work on grounding techniques and list out which ones work best for you, work on calming/relaxation techniques and list out which ones work best for you, perhaps have something like music always close at hand for you to get "lost" in or a journal with you for you to write in at the end of each day or something like that, and definitely work on coping techniques for triggers as well.


I hope you're able to come to a decision without much stress/upset.


-Cassandra

Yeah it's complicated because I have a strong feeling I won't be able to handle it but I'm sick of my life being dictated by my mental state. I feel like I should just go for it but I don't know.
I will work on different techniques and see what I am most comfortable with. I still have a few months to really decide and at that point I might be a better place mentally.

I know how frustrating it can be to have your life dictated by your mental state and stability, but it's something no one can help, and it's always better to be safe rather than sorry I've found out. I would see if it's possible to maybe do some different plans while working on techniques to help you and seeing if you can set up safety plans and co-conscious deals, and then when it gets closer to the time I would re-evaluate myself and how I've been doing. I'd also re-evaluate myself after I got back from the family vacation and see if I really am up to another vacation so soon. Be honest with yourself, no matter how much it may suck. It's better to be honest and realize your limits than to step beyond them and have a really difficult time or something.

Best of luck.


-Cassandra