Influenced by fiction- Maladaptive Daydreaming

Hey everyone. I haven't posted in a while. I wanted to talk about something that I suppose is DID related and that some of you may experience or have experienced before.
I find my personality is very easily influenced by things that I see,read or play. You guys know about my fantasy prone personality and something related to that is maladaptive daydreaming which is when a person spends pretty much all their time daydreaming, like it's an addiction and usually people have characters they become emotionally invested in and their daydreams start to feel more real than reality. For me I tend to get emotionally invested in fictional characters from TV shows, books, video games, etc. Sometimes I simply admire a character and other times I fall for them.
The worst part for me is though depending on the character or the show/book/game I incorporate myself into the story but I find myself creating a version of myself that fits in. Now this wouldn't be a problem if the stuff I'm attracted to was generally nice or positive. I normally find myself admiring the bad guys or liking stuff that is maybe a bit controversial so the character that I create of myself is usually negative. The problem I have is that version of myself doesn't just stay in the daydream. It often starts leaking into my personality and I begin to think and behave like them. This isn't like Scott or Ted or any of the others because I know what's them and what is me because we are always talking to each other and we are able to figure out who's influencing how I feel. I don't really know what this is. This doesn't feel like a separate part of myself. It feels like I'm creating something that starts to blend in with my personality and it's starting to affect me. I was wondering if there is anyone else with DID and maladaptive daydreaming that experience this or if there's just anyone at all who understands what I'm going through. Thanks

Though I'm not sure why it is exactly, we can definitely relate to this, myself in particular. I've been very influenced by characters I've played before - it's even where my name comes from. Kitty has been very prone to placing herself in worlds and letting it affect her life to a... Somewhat unhealthy extent.

jess has the maladaptive daydreaming, and there is definitely a difference between these other ideas of yourself and an alter. i know (vaguely) what your talking about. but i think Jess mainly made one version of herself and brought the other characters to her world instead of going to theirs. not that her idea of herself was... well... a realistic representation, by any means. and it did change slightly based on the people she met (but through things like personality traits - things that any person irl mite affect). but she was mostly bringing them to her world, so she didnt quite have your problem. but she had something close enough that i understand what your saying and can somewhat sympathize.

i hope you find someone who can offer a better answer than me.

I think I may have this, I spend nearly all of my time daydreaming. For me, there's the outside world, the inner world (my alters/DID), and my daydreams. I can easily tell the difference between them but sometimes I feel like how you describe.

In my daydreams I'm always me, but a completely different me, my personality is usually completely different and every now and then I'll notice that I start to take on the thought process of the "daydream-me". Which isn't necessarily a good thing because usually my daydream-me's are not the best of people (usually criminals). I also identify with the villains in books/movies/shows more often than the heroes. But I'm always confused by that because I'm really a nice person.

Also, I have such a range of emotions in my daydreams, whereas in real life I usually just feel slight emotions or sometimes none at all really. My daydreams are also the only place where I've ever felt that I truly love someone (as a SO). My love life in the real world is non-existent and I don't even want one. But I think that's because I have my daydream relationships so I'm already satisfied in that area of my life. Is that unhealthy though? Sometimes I think I should stop my daydream relationships because I'm making it impossible to ever be satisfied with a real relationship.

I have another question too that I think relates to the topic of this post. Recently it feels as if the characters from my daydreams are becoming alters. As soon as they start to pop up in the inner world though I freak out and push them back. It feels as if I'm making alters, I know this isn't possible but, it's as if my daydreams are overlapping with my DID and it's scaring me.

Here's a slew of questions I've been trying to figure out:
Would the alters from my daydreams be fake? Should I let my daydream people become alters? During my daydreaming, are there alters that are also participating and I just don't know it, so the ones that are popping up were really alters all along? Or am I just wishing my daydream people into alters without even knowing it?

Oh and, one alter that popped up from a daydream kept all of the background and story of the daydream. There was actually one point where she came out and then freaked out that she wasn't in the daydream world, she was super confused. So another question is, are my daydreams actually inner worlds that I'm unknowingly visiting?

This became longer than I meant, but I'm just really confused. There's no need to answer all of those questions because I doubt there are even are answers to some, but I just want to know what other's thoughts are on it.

Evanescent" My daydreams are also the only place where I've ever felt that I truly love someone (as a SO). My love life in the real world is non-existent and I don't even want one. But I think that's because I have my daydream relationships so I'm already satisfied in that area of my life. Is that unhealthy though? [/quote]

Well I have a partner in real life but our relationship is pretty unstable and unhealthy so I still turn to fictional characters for support and love. I have a partner in my daydream world and it upsets me to admit I prefer that relationship over my real one. I don't know if it's unhealthy or not to have a fictional relationship but ultimately if you are happy with it and it doesn't feel like it's impacting too much on your real life then it's okay.

[quote="Evanescent wrote:Would the alters from my daydreams be fake? Should I let my daydream people become alters? During my daydreaming, are there alters that are also participating and I just don't know it, so the ones that are popping up were really alters all along? Or am I just wishing my daydream people into alters without even knowing it?

I have had similar issues. Sometimes some characters are so strong in my daydreams that they seem to have a mind of their own. Many times they say and do things that I haven't made them do, like they are a part of the daydream but I don't influence them. It gets very confusing. Sometimes I struggle to grasp what's an alter and what's a character.

Evanescent wrote: So another question is, are my daydreams actually inner worlds that I'm unknowingly visiting?

Again I sometimes question this but I really don't know. I started a topic ages about asking about inner worlds because I wasn't sure if what I was experiencing was an inner world or just a very strong daydream world.

I'm so glad to know someone else has experienced this too.

Frank_Darko wrote:Sometimes some characters are so strong in my daydreams that they seem to have a mind of their own. Many times they say and do things that I haven't made them do, like they are a part of the daydream but I don't influence them.

I have that problem as well! I sort of decide what type of characters I want and then when they appear they usually act of their own accord. Sometimes my plans for them fall apart because they react in ways I wasn't expecting them too. It makes it so much more realistic, which I love, but at the same time it scares me, because lately, I don't want to be out in the real world or in the inner world. I just go to my daydreams for hours.

Frank_Darko wrote:Sometimes I struggle to grasp what's an alter and what's a character.

This is the major problem I'm having right now. They used to be so separate but the more I've learned about my DID the more and more that line is fading. I'm thinking about seeing what happens if I allow them to sort of merge together. Maybe it doesn't even matter who's truly fake or real since they're all real to me.