This sucks **Trigger?**

Logan needs to stop. He acts as though the mistakes I have made can be pinned onto everyone else. He refuses to allow me to blame myself for things that I have clearly done wrong. No, this is not an abuse thing. I took part in making a huge mistake in the past and it WAS my doing.

Now, I am suffering the consequences of that mistake and I must face it, yet Logan is wanting to make my best friend pay for it. He refuses contact with her and acts as though it's all HER fault that I'm in this mess. It isn't, though. She may have a little bit of a role, but it was MY fault. MY doing. I am mature enough to admit that I have made a mistake in my younger years thta I deeply reget.

Logan, however, says that if my best friend gets near me when I go to visit my old city this week that he will emotionally damage her and make her feel awful. He threatens to have a major panic attack if she gets near me. He has even gone as far to threaten harming her physically or cutting my wrist in front of her so she will 'see the damage that she caused'.

This has been an ongoing thing and it's killing me. I know that it was MY fault mostly. I felt no guilt while doing this in the past because I used to feel no regrets about anything when I was younger. In fact, I hardly felt anything at all. Still, I was wrong and maybe my best friend was a little wrong too. Still, she doesn't deserve any of that crap that Logan is wanting to give her and SHOULD be giving me.

I would seriously laugh if she died! She has ruined everything! You took a part, but she should have done the right thing too! Therefore, if she wouldn't have particpated and egged you on (Indirectly or not) then this wouldn't have happened! YOU'RE being punished enough with the guilt! SHE feels NO remorse at ALL! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! I don't want you near her! It's leading you down a path that isn't good for you at ALL! So, NO! NO! NO!

-- Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:32 pm --

I would seriously laugh if she died!

STOP SAYING THAT!! She is my BEST FRIEND!!!!! and wishing death upon ANYONE is just AWFUL! I don't even agree with capital punishment, so STOP saying things like that!!

She has ruined everything! You took a part, but she should have done the right thing too! Therefore, if she wouldn't have particpated and egged you on (Indirectly or not) then this wouldn't have happened!

We were BOTH wrong! I have stated that! I KNOW that! In fatc, I took a larger role in this so if you want anyone to die then it should be ME!

YOU'RE being punished enough with the guilt! SHE feels NO remorse at ALL! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! I don't want you near her! It's leading you down a path that isn't good for you at ALL! So, NO! NO! NO!

You are NOT keeping me from my best friend! and you are NOT going to harm her emotionally or physically!

STOP SAYING THAT!! She is my BEST FRIEND!!!!! and wishing death upon ANYONE is just AWFUL! I don't even agree with capital punishment, so STOP saying things like that!!

FINE! Let her run away ALONE and never come back because she is NOT a part of your f***ing life anymore!

We were BOTH wrong! I have stated that! I KNOW that! In fatc, I took a larger role in this so if you want anyone to die then it should be ME!

I will inform your therapist that you are suicidal.

You are NOT keeping me from my best friend! and you are NOT going to harm her emotionally or physically!

I won't if she stays as far away as possible. Look, I am aware that this is somehting that you did wrong too, but to keep you emotionally stable and ok, this is what has to be done.

-- Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:45 pm --

FINE! Let her run away ALONE and never come back because she is NOT a part of your f***ing life anymore!

YOu have NO say in that. YOU can stay away from her if you wish, but I am not going to leave my best friend of eight years.

I will inform your therapist that you are suicidal.

YOU LIAR! I never said that! It was a matter of proving a point to you! I wouldn't kill myself! I was simply saying that if you want her dead then you should want me dead too. I was just as much, if not more, in the wrong than she was.

I won't if she stays as far away as possible. Look, I am aware that this is somehting that you did wrong too, but to keep you emotionally stable and ok, this is what has to be done.

I don't need you to keep me 'emotionally stable' because I don't feel much about this situation as long as it's ingnored, but YOU won't leave it alone!!

I don't need you to keep me 'emotionally stable' because I don't feel much about this situation as long as it's ingnored, but YOU won't leave it alone!!

You don't feel it because I'M feeling all of it for you! Pretty soon you'll feel the impact that this is having to it's full effect and you won't be able to handle it as much as I have been! That's what has been happening. Everytime you did something awful, the guilt and pain would go straight to me! You felt NO remorse at all because I took it all and you felt NOTHING! You know, if you could feel the emotional damage that this would have on you without me here to take it then you probably would have committed suicide by now!

-- Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:56 pm --

I don't need you to keep me 'emotionally stable' because I don't feel much about this situation as long as it's ingnored, but YOU won't leave it alone!!

You don't feel it because I'M feeling all of it for you! Pretty soon you'll feel the impact that this is having to it's full effect and you won't be able to handle it as much as I have been! That's what has been happening. Everytime you did something awful, the guilt and pain would go straight to me! You felt NO remorse at all because I took it all and you felt NOTHING! You know, if you could feel the emotional damage that this would have on you without me here to take it then you probably would have committed suicide by now!

You don't feel it because I'M feeling all of it for you! Pretty soon you'll feel the impact that this is having to it's full effect and you won't be able to handle it as much as I have been! That's what has been happening. Everytime you did something awful, the guilt and pain would go straight to me! You felt NO remorse at all because I took it all and you felt NOTHING! You know, if you could feel the emotional damage that this would have on you without me here to take it then you probably would have committed suicide by now!

The difference is that I blame myself because I acted on impulse. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. and I KNOW it. I would never blame her for something that was my idea in the first place. I was stupid back then. I believed that I was right, but I was wrong and I know it. My best friend in the whole world should not suffer because of this mistake that I took the most part in.

The difference is that I blame myself because I acted on impulse. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. and I KNOW it. I would never blame her for something that was my idea in the first place. I was stupid back then. I believed that I was right, but I was wrong and I know it. My best friend in the whole world should not suffer because of this mistake that I took the most part in.

I understand that you were wrong too. I get that, but my job is to keep us emotionally stable and bashing on you won't help solve anything. I have to resolve this problem and the only way to do it is to keep her away from you forever. Or until she learns her boundries. I could forgive her if she would take the hint and back off. The only way to achieve this is to show how emotionally damaged you are because of this mistake made. Maybe it's not the right way to go about it, but I don't care. I just want it done. I also want to make her pay for not coming to her senses by now and not doing the morally correct thing in the situation.

LOGAN! I have to do the morally correct thing! We can't sit around and wait for HER to do it! I'm scared! I don't want to hurt anybody and it will hurt her. Still, I can't continue lying. I can't let this continue until it blows up in my face. I always avoid my problems and I never FEEL them. I was always able to worm myself out of bad situations. Now, I have to do the right thing and it will be hard to do. I have to do it, though. Wrong = consequances and I was wrong.

My way is better. I know that on a logical stand point, your way would work better. The problem is thta you can't handle it emotionally so I have to do it my way. Now, we can either avoid her forever and never contact her again OR I can take matters into my own hands in the sense that I WILL panic if she's near. I mean FULL hysterics and it won't even be on PURPOSE! I don't panic on purpose. It happens under intense pressure and that's what I will feel if she is near us. I will show her how emotionally insane this is makign you by gong into a phsycotic fit if I am near her. EVERY sing time. You don't wanna test me, Leslie. This is how t has to be done. The only other way is if SHE comes to her senses and ends this mistake.

You sound like a bratty child who can't handle confrontation! You can't keep this up! This won't work for anyone and it would bring less emotional pain if we do this the MATURE way. You know that she is suicidal herself and if you pitch a fit like this then she might follow through with it or at least harm herself really bad.

and I hope she does. Maybe I sound evil, but I think that would be best for us. She would permanately be out of our life and we will have a sense of freedom again. This is torment and it has to stop. The only way is if she is gone. I won't kill her. Not physically. Emotionally, I won't have a problem. If it means that we will be free of this emotional torment then so be it.

This is not rational thinking. Why do you lack rational thinking??? We can't handle problems like a child! This is ridiculous! I want to get along with you! I feel an intense bond already, but if you keep this up then I don't see how we will ever get along and we need to get along! Compromise!

I can't compromise on this. I have to do this. It's the only way.

You are fake! I can stop you! I get it now! I'm at an emotional brink in my life and maybe you are a avatar for my own childish beliefs that I don't want to claim as my own! This is just an emotional breakdown!

No! This is NOT the time for denial! I will literally do something insane to prove it and i don't think you'll like it at ALL! I am clearly real so don't you dare fall back into that denial again!

It makes sense, though.

NO. Look, we were talking last night! Me, you , and Hope. There is TOO much proof that we are real so drop that sh**!!

I'm sorry. I don't know.

Yes you do! This conversation is flowing too naturally to be fake!

I'm a writer. I can do that.

There is no character development given to me. It's all natural. My beliefs don't go with yours at all. Cut the crap. This is real.

Okay. Okay. I'm just so scared because when I go to visit next week, she will want to see me and BAM! You will go insane.

I will indeed. If she keeps her distance, I will be okay. If not, all h*** will break loose.

That will emotionally damage me worse.

No, it will free you.

NO. NO. NO.

YES! I know what's best for our emotions.

No, you're too irrational.

Maybe, but that works for us.

It will only make her depressed and confused.

GOOD. Maybe she'll go away.

Stop it.

Maybe she'll hurt herself like she deserves.

STOP IT!

I'm crying right now, guys. What am I supposed to do???

She's also emotionally damaged us in other ways too! ALWAYS degrading us. She HAS to brag about how she's "the smart one" as she worded it. Oh, and she brags on and on about how she was in aspectrum and sh**! She has to come up with a reason why she's the best all the time while pretending to be modest and sh**! You KNOW how upset she makes you! Why do you still take up for her?!

You're obviously jealous of her. I know she's smarter than me. I don't care.

Well, she still doesn't have to try to rub it in your face! It's ALL the time! Every since middle school! You can't just take that!

Get OVER it!

If I may interrupt, I have a suggestion.

Firstly, both of you need to take each others ideas into consideration. There is probably some truth from both sides. However, I am sure your friend does not mean to upset you or "emotionally damage" you in any way.

If you cannot handle being around this person, then perhaps you should go inside until they're gone. Not as a permanent solution, but until you can stay calm enough to work on this.

More importantly, you both need to reach an agreement. Yelling at each other is not going to help you two get along.

That's the problem. I don't feel any anger towards this friend. I try so hard to compromise with Logan, but he has gotten to a point where he won't allow compromise. He wants it his way because he thinks his way is the best suit for us emotionally, but it's not. I like to try compromising with him, but he has an issue with almost every female I know and I'm scared he will force me to break bonds that I have with people I really care about. He finds the smallest reason for why I shouldn't be around people I love. I can't just lock myself in a room forever like he wants....