Not sure how to respond to T

Recently my T has told me that she's started to view me as a friend as well as a client. Is this something I should be concerned about? She hasn't done anything that has broken any sort of patient/doctor boundaries beyond once asking me to take care of her dogs while she went on a trip (which she immediately realized was inappropriate and retracted). I also worry that if she views me as a friend that she might start to resent always being the one who has to listen. That being said, she is extremely open with me, moreso than any other T I've had and apparently morseo than with most of her other patients. I don't mind hearing about things in her life for the most part, but it's also become a way for us to sabotage sessions by avoiding ourself. We (both she and us) have started trying to keep friendly banter to a minimum, but it's hard with the relationship we've built together. I guess I'm just concerned that ultimately this could come back and bite us in the rear. I suppose I shouldn't be overly concerned since she is moving, but until then she's still our T and we do want the most out of her. :-/

That's a bit of a tricky thing for her to say because you can't really be a friend and a therapist. Friends are not objective like therapists are supposed to be. Plus does this mean you are paying for her friendship as well as her therapy? Which is wrong too, of course. The fact she is moving; is this her in a round about way asking to stay in touch as friends when shes not your therapist anymore? When is she going?

-B

She has hinted that she wants to keep in contact. She's even suggested that we write a book together, so this could be her suggesting that. I hadn't considered that option, but she despite what she originally told me, in our last session she said she may not move for up to a year.

I've had two therapists now who were able to successfully pull off being an objective therapist and being kinda like my friend, so it is possible. One of the therapists still agrees to see me, and has a couple times in the recent past, not for an appointment or anything (least, not yet, I'm trying to see if I can start going to her again now that she treats adults as well as kids), but to just catch up and see how I was doing during her lunch break. Both therapists were open with me, inside and outside of therapy, and I think it really helps with the connection and trust stuff. And the one that still sees me just to catch up was the best therapist I've had yet. She was the one who let me talk about my voices/sides and tried to help Rebel when she randomly showed up to therapy, even though she didn't treat DID and I wasn't in therapy for my DID, but she didn't focus on that. She focused on whatever I needed help with, and tried to help me best she could.


I think your therapist is meaning, more like a professional friend, with the potential to become more like friends once you're not in a therapist/patient relationship. The big clue to me is the suggestion of writing a book together. That can often still be a professional relationship, but the boundaries can often get blurred between friendship and professional, but that's ok, especially if you're not longer in a patient/therapist relationship. I'd think that as long as she stays more of a therapist until your therapy with her comes to and end, and has proven to be professional and helpful in the past, then she probably has the ability to pull off a therapist-first, friend-second type of relationship just as my two therapists were able to do. If you started writing the book together before therapy with her ends, then as long as she's able to keep it mostly professional and still remembers "therapist first", I think it'd be ok too.


Just my thoughts on the whole thing. Hope it helps in some way.


-Cassandra