Understanding Us/Thoughts

None of you deserve to go through any of these rough times or bad past experiences.

Is there a way you could help her to know what you're all looking for and needing and wanting? Like, write it down or type it out here? (You can send PMs to yourself if you'd like it to stay private). Is there a way to work on compromising so that she doesn't have to give up full control? Like can you compromise on her staying in control, but allowing you guys to influence her or something like that? I know it can be scary to lose control, but I realize that I'd rather give it up at times than have it forcefully taken from me... She doesn't need to lose control forever, or for long. You guys could start slow, with short amounts of time where she's in partial control, and then maybe no control, and the work from there.

I hope the threads I posted are helpful to all of you. (Take your time reading them).

I know from experience that things can and will get better over time, long as you don't give up trying or working on them.


-Cassandra

I don't know. I'm so lost. I can't remember what happened to us. I 'know' sometimes but cannot 'feel it' it happened to someone else, at another point in time. I can blab it out to any therapist, but its like it didn't happen to me.

This is the point of DID though, isn't it? That it isn't happening to 'me', it's happening to 'someone else'. This is how we survive and move on. If it's not mine, it can't hurt me and I can continue with what I need to continue.

I can tell our therapist such things too. I can talk about horrible memories. Some of them I keep the emotions inside, but some just simply didn't happen to me so it doesn't phase me to talk about.

I feel like I'm acting or making this stuff up. I mean, after all, I always say 'I" never "Mars etc." habit I guess?

I wrote this in another thread a few minutes ago and I think it fits here too:
There is no reason to use "us" and "we" and such if you're not comfortable with it. Some multiples use singular some use plural - there's no reason for you to try to get used to it. Just use the singular form that you are comfortable with and if you feel comfortable using something else later on that should just come naturally

Red_Feather wrote: *Shrug* I have no clue. She just won't let go. Like you ManyShadesOfMe, she's always trying to rationalize this stuff and shut us off. But then, of course...she has no idea what we all need/want. No inside guidance at all. IF we could get her to let go, and surrender to this whole thing---maybe then. She's just afraid to get hurt. Giving up control isn't her thing. But no matter what we're all still here.

Your words here seem like good advice to me too considering I'm in your hosts shoes. I really need to just pull that stick out of my @ss and just surrender to the experience for once and just let go. It's just hard to do. And it's really hard not to rationalize, or be in doubt too...it's just something that happens, it's definitely not intentional. I guess it's just how our mind works. I think my others take offense to that in a way, but IMO they really shouldn't.

You guys writing on here will probably be great proof to her that you exist. A few of mine have made appearances on here before, but not enough to keep me out of denial. Have you tried writing her a letter and explain what you all need/want? Maybe explaining some things to her might help her understand a little more. She's really confused...maybe try to help her not be so confused so she can try to come to a better understanding with it.