Question for the hosts

As a original/host

Sometimes I'm barraged with a thousand voices it's seems.
so sometimes I just let them go. my rambling since I could talk makes sense now lol

but one thing that makes me paranoid

When you can hear everyone chatting in there are you paranoid around singletons who don't know about DID can hear them all chatting???

or just are you afraid they are speaking aloud but in reality they are not?????????

I often catch myself on not being sure of whether we spoke out loud or not. I actually practice keeping my lips shut while talking inside to make sure.

For the 2 hosts we've had and the current host...

We get paranoid about a lot of things, but I don't think we've ever been paranoid about others that could hear the voices we did. There was just something about the "they're talking to me" or knowing that we were the only ones who could hear them that just stuck with us and never really got doubted or questioned or anything.

We do get paranoid about others seeing the things that we see sometimes. Like, if we see a cat that ends up not really being there, or if we see a person that's not really there, or something seems to fly somewhere even though it was just the blur of it moving normally, or something like that, we can sometimes get surprised and either wonder if anyone else saw it or worry that someone saw us slightly "freak out" at nothing.

~A mixture of us(?)

Thanks for replying >.<

...I have to be careful not to use "we" in public. Luckily in the UK that is colloquially ok, as in "give us a ring" for "call me", but still.

Ruby

Not too many months back I was with my husband volunteering. My main abuser came and saw us adn talked a bunch with my husband.( I think my husband actually felt trapped adn afraid like me). This man also said my names a few tiems , but it didtn seem lik ehe was talking about me. ANYWAY. my mind turned into a circus. At one point my husband said," I cant listen to you right now, you are soayign so much and nothing makes any sense". So I said.."oh you can see my circus". No reply I dont think. Other very similar thing like tha t have happned. MY T says n oone can see the circus in my mind. If it is outloud, otehr people will rationalize almost unconsiously what occured. DID or "psychotic" person is the last thing they woul dever think as tha tis not really paort of thier vocabulary adn understanding. Very recenlty m y husband said a couple times taht we were in public adn it happned again. HE sadi IT doesnt seem liek I am odd or sick, rather a bit hyper and or tired. I also have these"delayed reactions" as I call them. When I ehar that moments ago someone else came out adn spoke. So , once i realized it I kind backtracked to make it appear normal. My T adn HUsband said I probably appeared fun adn confident.
A couple examples...one is a 5 year old part spoke tot he outerworld and said," I loves dresses, I LOVE to play dress up". Another time , the boss of a place i volunteer at saw me putting on my coat getting ready to leave. We were standing at my desk which had piles of finished work. It also had piles of unfinished work. The boss aked if I got everything done. A teen part spoke aloud adn said, "YES". MOments later i said ," if you look at my desk I obviuosly did not finish. I siad YES because it sounded likea good answer lol". What do anyof you do when this happens. The teen part has appologized for pretending to be me.
ALso to note is that people in social situations are much more concerned with how THEY look and appear....what they did and said, so in the big picture it is often jsut forgotten ( sometiems lol)

I'm never afraid they will hear the voices - they still are somewhere between 'loud thoughts' and voices, and often I'm not sure from who it came - from me or someone else. Maybe just a shared thought?

Anyway, I'm not afraid they will hear the voices. They're not 'outside' in any way. But I'm sometimes afraid I will say 'we', or hint at the dissociation in other ways. But I think it won't just happen as I have a lot difficulties talking about dissociation related stuff (including using 'we', which still doesn't feel right usually unless referring to me as multiple). Maybe only afraid of the hinting in other ways.

And, maybe the reason this isn't an issue is that I'm often dissociated when talking to people I know - I start to suspect I do switch each time (I will investigate this in the coming days/weeks).