Did at least one person love you as a child?

Someone loves me!
Father never said he loves me.
He says I am JAIL BAIT.

Mother never said she loves me.
She says I am LIAR.

My Pimp tells me he loves me!
He says I am GOOD PROPERTY.

Pimps wife hates me.
She says I am a BRAT.

Mister J. (works for the Pimp) loves me.
He says we are going to be married when I am sweet 16.
[All the girls had to marry one of the Misters that worked for the head pimp when they reached age 16]


Grandma loved me! totally!
Grandpa would have loved me but he died as soon as I was born.
Little sister loved me.
Big brother did not love me.

Auntie loved. She quit her job to rescue. Wish she could have stayed.

"Grandma loves Aurora and R"
That is more or less the most Aurora has ever said (she's 2, while R is 1).

Our Grandma was the only person who ever loved us. We have a stuffed bunny named Grandma (who R named actually, *trigger* who is usually unresponsive to any human talking and act like those kids you see in Russia in orphanages that don't respond or scream or anything *end*) who goes with us everywhere. She's brought lots of healing for the kids as they feel our Grandma is still with us (she died many years ago). She died while we were quite young so not all of us have met her, but most of us have shared memories with the others so we all can have good memories of her (one of the most healing things we have done was this sharing actually). She was our role model and the reason we were able to go through it all.

My grandmum has loved me from before I was born, she says. When I was gone, during my time of not remembering, she prayed everyday to get me back and wrote poetry of her longing to hold me. I got to read that poetry for the first time a few weeks ago.

My mom loved me. Completely and totally. And she expressed it the right way all the time, too.

My dad loved/lovess me. But he doesn't know how to show it or express it well AT ALL, and it certainly seems like he doesn't love me at times even though I know better. And other things (such as his alcoholism) seemed to be stronger than his love for me at times.

My Grandma loved/loves me. But she wasn't and still isn't around a lot. And I don't feel that close with her (or any of my family/relatives, really).

My Great Aunt loved/loves me. But sometimes she can be like my dad and not know how to show it or express it well at all. And sometimes she can make really mean comments. And I feel less close with her than I do with my Grandma.

In fact, my whole family loved/loves me. But they don't know me. They're rarely around. I barely know most of them. They don't understand me. And they don't know what my life was like. And we're not anywhere near being "close" to each other at all. I think my family often just says the word "love" because it's family, not necessarily because they actually know or love the person. (Hope that makes sense).

My friends loved/love me, or at least, they love the alters they know (some of my friends only know certain alters, and some of my friends still don't know I have DID). But rarely do my friends know about all of me, and rarely do they understand me, and rarely do they know about my life. But they do care for/love me/the parts of me they know.

I'm beginning to feel kinda "out of place" here since everyone else has like, only one person listed so far....


-Cassandra

Not true! I have my pimp.


and my sister when she was little. She is borderline and we avoid each other now. She is such a mess. When we were little though I kept her out of the lifestyle Father had me in including mind control ceremonies and being in a child prostitution ring until I married at 16. She never knew it, but I think she could still feel it. She was innocent from all that but still abused by Father and Mother was just nuts (borderline.)

tomboy24 wrote:I'm beginning to feel kinda "out of place" here since everyone else has like, only one person listed so far....

It's the same for me really. All of my family love me. Some of them don't really know how to show affection but I'm okay with that as I struggle with affection as well and it would just be awkward if we ever tried. My family have always been very supportive of choices I have made in life and have always been there for me. However I do feel very distant from them and despite loving them there's a large part of me that fails to connect on some level but I find it hard to connect with most people. They don't really know me on a personal level and I think they struggle to understand how difficult life is for me.

It's a bit like Frank_Darko for me. I know they love me. But my mother doesn't really know how to show it (I think she has trouble understanding and expressing emotion). And my father... most of the time, he is sort-of normal. But he has moments where he's suddenly very angry (although he denies he's angry) (I think this is because it's sort-of inherited PTSD, his father had PTSD). And then he still claims he loves me, but the things he says really hurt.
But deep down, I know, he loves me.

The rest of the family, I don't really know them. Maybe my grandmother, she probably does. No, she does. How could she not?

Safe love? Maybe my sister? That is all. Don't even have my sister now though.

Mother loves us (Gabrielle and I) even if she doesn't know me. She doesn't act like it sometimes, but she is a survivor of her own traumas and most of us don't blame her for acting the way she does. Our siblings don't help her disposition much either. mark and I think mommy is scary

Father loves us (again, same as mother) and, unlike mother, is always wonderful to be around, is easy to keep happy, and is very slow to anger. We love him very much in return.

Really, all the family Gabrielle and I know love us though we're closer to father and his father than anyone else in the family.

Ah, but then there is Jen, our preschool teacher. Or Gabrielle's? It doesn't matter. We love her more than our own mother and *possible tw* would happily give our lives for her *end tw* I don't remember much about her, actually, but I do feel very strongly about her. In a positive way, obviously.

-Janus