ugh im having a bad day... possible triggers

We didnt sleep a wink last night, everyone was too loud and wanted to all do their "own" thing. Too many racing thoughts in our head. I got out of bed this morning not even knowing who I really was. I cant take this sometimes. I really wish I could just escape all of this. I feel so trapped. The flashbacks are terrifying us and the nightmares are just getting worse. ugh, sometimes I wish I didnt exist.... sorry, I just needed to vent.


Lucy

Instead of escaping, try and figure out what is wrong and fix it.

When this happens with me alters want to share something so very bad it hurts!

I completely understand!

Last night was kinda bad for me, too. So many voices and so much commotion going on when I was trying to get to sleep... I got a little sleep but what sleep I got was full of vivid dreams that I know where strange and/or scary, but I couldn't remember them after I woke up. And now I'm supposed to be getting ready for stuff I need to do today and I'm sitting here, "stuck", because others want to be here, or have an OCD to where they need to get on here before doing anything else, or stuff like that. I don't hold anything against my alters for any of this, but you're right, it is definitely hard to handle sometimes, and sometimes you feel like you can't handle it (lack of sleep definitely increases this because it increases both mental and physical exhaustion, which is hard to deal with!). Definitely take care of yourselves today, and be kind to yourselves. Do things that help make you feel calm, relaxed, safe, comforted, etc.

And Tylas makes a good point. Try to find out what's going on and if anything's "wrong", if you can. See if maybe an alter needs help with sharing something, or if an alter's stuck in trauma, or if an alter's not feeling heard so is feeding you/others flashbacks or something, stuff like that. Maybe ask why everyone suddenly wanted to do their own thing right as it was time to go to bed. Maybe try to work out a system to where everyone gets time throughout the week to do their own thing, but everyone has to understand that the body needs sleep.

We have it set up in our system to where everyone has to at least be in their rooms or in a room. They can still be awake once the body goes to bed, they can still socialize, but no one can be in the Control Room, and no one can be making commotion in rooms like the living rooms. If you're going to be awake inside, you have to be in a bedroom. It helps the body sleep better, even if it's only semi-sleep because others are still awake inside, it still makes it easier to both get to sleep and stay asleep. Maybe you could work on setting something like that up for your system?

I'm sorry you had such a bad night, and are having such a difficult time right now. *safe hugs if wanted* I hope you all feel better soon. Definitely take care of yourself today, and be kind to yourself!


-Cassandra

I would agree that it sounds as though your alters do not feel heard. Perhaps arrange a time every week or day, depending on your schedule, for each alter to speak with you about what is concerning them?

Good comments already - but just wanted to let you know you are understood and cared for! hope things are going better...