An oldie returned

Hello...
We used to frequent here under the name lalalark.
Its been a while but we are in desperate need of support lately, and decided to try some of the things that helped us cope before.
A quick re-introduction we are a poly-fragmented system, although some have undergone reintegration, and I Big Amber, the host, tend to be in charge the majority of the time.
I was for a while able to communicate, or a the very least leave messages that were obeyed or followed by the rest of the system and with great teamwork we were able to finish college and secure a job teaching overseas.
The problem lies in the fact that we are now overseas, in some ways very much alone, and it is anniversary time.
My support system at home is still very supportive and very communicative, but its still really difficult as we have been having very many triggering episodes, anxiety attacks, and just complete loss of time the past two weeks or so.
We have returned to some self harm, which is the thing that made me post here tonight. I cannot allow myself to cycle all the way back and start over.
I have come so far and a relapse is okay, or struggling over anniversaries is okay but a collapse, no way, I am too far away from home, and becoming very successful in my job for a complete collapse and I am terrified we are heading that way.
Thanks for listening, just needed an outlet.

I'm glad you came back here to get support As you know, this is a great supportive place.

I hope you can get the help here to not take too many steps backwards.

Thinking of you

I've seen that username before!! A while ago, though. And I don't think you were around still when I joined but I saw the username on older posts and such.

Welcome back! I'm sorry you had to return under such distressing circumstances, though. As far as the collapse thing goes....I look at things like these like a car accident. Some can be avoided and maneuvered around, others can't be and are just going to happen no matter what. Either way, the only important thing is that you do the best you can with what you've got, and never give up.

Now that you're back, I hope you feel less alone. You will always be listened to here, understood here, and supported here (as I'm sure you know, but I know that reminders are nice ).

I hope that you all feel better soon and that this place is helpful to you once again!


-Cassandra

Thank you for the support, as it is much needed.

I think I will be posting a bit more regularly, as already I feel less alone. I forgot what it was like to have the support of people who just completely understand and don't look at you like you are crazy, but its normal for what we are dealing with.

Thanks guys!

I'm glad you're already feeling the support