doing the opposite of childhood caregivers.

(I'm fuzzy right now, so sorry if something doesn't make much sense)

Although parenting will (hopefully!) not be something to think about in the near future, I want to do the same. I want to stop it.

I found out my grandfather on my father's side most likely had PTSD (never tested for it). When I heard a (short) description of it, it felt like they were actually describing my father. Except that the outbursts with my father weren't triggered but caused by a bad mood. So, the PTSD is most likely sort-of inherited (which I've heard occurs more often). I don't know, but maybe it's the same with my father, that he didn't want to continue with it but without wanting it continued it in the generation. My family has a LOT internal conflict. One day I want to keep my family at a distance. To only see them occasionally.

So, in short, I don't want to push it away like my father and my grandfather did, but rather resolve all underlying issues and stop this. And yes, just like tomboy24 said, I have no idea how to do it properly. My problems seem very small compared to others on this DID forum, but I know they are far too important to neglect. Emotional abuse, even when non-intentional, is still abuse. The word 'abuse' doesn't feel right here.