Time issues

I don't know if this belongs to this forum or whether it's DID-related, but I'm posting it anyway.
I just had a funny experience today when I uploaded some photos from summer. In fact, uploading photos has caused some time loss for me that I noticed, when I deleted a big batch of them without having any memory of it. Actualy that's another story but relevant to this one, since there seems to be something about fiddling with my photos that makes me switchy, or at least very confused.

Well today I started to have a massive deja vu effect from uploading my summer photos. It started as a doubtful feeling that I must have uploaded the same ones a few months ago, and I actually went through my posts from 2012 several times, month by month, but couldn't find them.
Then it crossed my mind that maybe all my photos from last year are from 2011, which would mean that I have no photos from last year; I only think so. And so on. In the end I couldn't remember which year I had started in my current job (2012), and there were different layers of time in my head that seemed to conflict, memories I couldn't place anywhere... all because of the photos that sort of seemed to mix my chronology.

I have to add that today has been one of those rare days when someone has been talkative and silly on facebook. I've also felt an urge to do colouring books and play with paper dolls, which I haven't done of course... it's embarassing to even type these things, but I think it's significant because I think there's a pattern. Even before, I think there have been days when I've had all sorts of odd childish impulses and later in the evening my sense of time has been in a state of confusion. Kids and time, I wonder why that is? And photos, of course. I haven't uploaded any for several months, maybe it was too nostalgic or something.

Well anyway I just thought I'd share this with you. I'd be interested in hearing if any of you guys have had similar issues with time, or any other kinds of time-related confusion due to dissociation. If yes, then have you noticed that there are particular parts/alters who surface around the same time?

I have a lot of lost time throughout the day and over the past years. Sometimes it happens randomly and sometimes it seems to be because of stuff I see or hear. From what I know it's common with people with DID, but I believe other people can experience it too (that is just my personal opinion, it's not confirmed or anything).

I can relate to the childish impulses, too. Sometimes I have the urge to just color or play kid games.

I'm not much help, but I wanted you to know you're not the only one.

I don't loose time (that I'm aware of) so that's not an issue for me, but I do mix up time a lot. I sometimes don't remember whether something was last summer or the summer before. After a moment clear thinking I know it, but it's just a short while that I'm confused.
Well, now I think about it, I don't remember exactly where we went on holiday... I have some vague memories of it this moment. Maybe they'll come back later.
When I went through all my photos some time ago, it didn't cause any switching etc. but I don't really switch that I'm aware of. That was before I was aware of the dissociation.

I don't really have childish urges, but there are some short times I act like a child - mostly subconsciously. It isn't really acting, but it feels that way.

I do 'lose time' in the sense that in the evening I have a hard time remembering what I exactly did that day. But I don't do that much in a day so that could be the reason. I don't think it's actually time loss in the DID sense (I never see proof that "I" did things outside my control).

My timeline are all over the map. I have almost no memories from birth to 15, but I use little fragments that I do have to investigate timelines. For instance: one of very few memories was watching Halloween on TV in a house I don't really remember. So, years later I cross referenced the time was both released on DVD and prime time TV, with that info I could actually place myself in a moment in time I wasn't sure was real. That was one of the first moments I felt 'ah, so I'm not crazy and is place was real".

Lately I'm having a hard time with time during the course of a few days. Granted, Christmas was rough for me this year, with an enourmous amounts of splits. Many times I would look at the clock and think hours had passed to find it was minutes. I was really bad at confusing days, when it was...what specific part of the holiday we were in. It caused a lot of strain and confusion in me.

I KNOW my Little wants out to play. He has now talked with my SO (this is also new) and has asked for snow pants, stuffed animals, toy trains and a trip to the Candy Store (me, host, is approaching 40 in a few months).

So I really understand everything you're saying. I know it isn't bringing comfort, but you aren't alone on this one. Time and I (us) have a very delicate relationship at times.

In a hurry but, yes I/we can definitely relate.

Possible trigger warning -

Our time issues are about the clock, yes, every five minutes round and round, we gotta look at the clock. Master tells us to, yes, yes, we're autistic clock; gotta look or get in trouble by Master. Master has to have his way, Time has to look at clock and she will pay. Sadistic broods of hatred foam at his mouth if we don't watch the clock. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, and on and on; must see clock or we die.

-Time (an eight year old clock)

Thanks for your posts.

Time is both predictable and unpredictable, and living according to clocks and timetables and deadlines can be tricky for anyone, but it's a strange feeling when time alters inside your head. Or maybe it's not that unordinary, all I know is that to some extent, time is subjective.
(Talking about time always makes me think of the White Rabbit in Alice In Wonderland, who was always late, and poor Alice who couldn't even catch him... I think she's easy to identify with, having just recently reread the original book by Lewis Carroll. There is much more to it than just a fantastic adventure, I recommend it to everyone who hasn't read it yet. Not the Disney version!)

One more thing about yesterday: before I started working on my photos, time seemed to go very slowly for hours, almost stopping. This has happened to me many times and I've even started a thread or two about it .
More importantly, I remember reading on this forum that it's typical of little children to feel that time is very long because due to their lack of experience, they don't understand time-related concepts like "soon" or "tomorrow". It all feels like "never" to them, and that's why waiting for a while is challenging to them.

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Thanks Shay

(I will be helping Shay to type, otherwise this would be rather long. ~Rain)

Time is hard.

What I feel and what clock says sometimes two different things.

Clock says it's time for this, others say it's time for that, and I get stuck in middle.

Clock is right to I! Clock is always right. Must follow clock. Must be right. Must be same. Same is right. Different is wrong. Others do things different. Others in head make it hard sometimes. Others don't follow clock like I do. I don't know why. I don't know how. If no follow clock, things get messy. Confusing. Chaos. Icky.

But clock can seem wrong sometimes. Sometimes I feel a day pass and the clock says it's only been one hour. Sometimes I feel a minute pass and the clock says it's been 3 hours. So I try follow clock best I can.

Clock = real time.
DID = own time that doesn't always match up with real time.

I can spend whole day inside and come out and clock says it's been 30 minutes. Time not same inside as outside. Least not feel same.

I can be out and focus on something and I feel it been hours and then clock says it only been minutes. Time not always same to feel as it is to real passing.

Clocks. Dates. Times. Records! Things must have dates! Must trust the clock! Must trust records! That why records need kept. That why records need be. That why everything need date. So I know! So I can trust clock! I know I can't always trust I or others. Time gets confusing. Memory gets confusing. Timelines get confusing. Unless there is record! Then only memory confusing. But that normal. Everyone get time confused to some point. Everyone get memory confused to some point. It just happen more with DID people.

When kid time seem go slow. When adult time seem go fast. When teen time bounce and go fast and slow. But clock is always right. Clock says how time really go. So I go by clock. Not by what seem or feel.


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